


Chasing Dreams

by waterbending101 (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Eren Is a Little Shit, F/F, F/M, M/M, They're Weird, bear with me, but they're cute - Freeform, dreams and telepathy, sad levi poor levi, this is kind of just flowing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-03-18 16:58:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 55,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3577023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/waterbending101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has a few strange dreams of a man he's never met. But he soon comes to realize they're more than just dreams. He meets a man who's world is crumbling, and Eren is determined to get him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at a fanfiction!  
> I would seriously love any feedback at all so please feel free to provide some

/Eren stood smack in the middle of an empty road in the low blue of the twilight, facing a man in the distance. The cold air gave him chills, but it wasn't as cold as the scowl the other man wore as he glared. He crossed his arms and stuck his hip out in a comical feminine fashion.   
"What are you staring at, brat?"

Eren stepped forward, taken aback, but wanting to get closer nonetheless. What wasn't there to stare at? He had a sleek military style undercut that framed his cheekbones. Though he spat his words, his lips weren't quite so harsh anymore as they twitched upwards. The man wore a simple t shirt and jeans, but Eren found himself eyeing the way his hips curved out…/

"Eren!"

Mikasa flung the door open, letting it crash against the wall and stood in the doorway. He shot up, sweating in a panic. What kind of dream was that? Was he really thinking of a man that way? 

"Finally. I've been calling up the stairs for ages! I'm going to set up an intercom in this house if you don't start getting up on time." 

Eren groaned and threw off the covers, not caring he wore only green boxer shorts. His sister shrieked as she scrambled downstairs to give them both some privacy. 

He took a minute to stretch before crawling out of bed. dragging on a decent looking pair of jeans and shirt. Standing in front of the mirror, he sighed, cursing his hair for choosing today to stick straight up on one side. He thought about the dream, the way the man had stood. Eren crossed his arms and stuck out his hip in an imitation. He heard a huff from the doorway and spun around, embarrassed again. 

"Are we playing dress up? Let's go," she snapped and walked away again. Eren slung his bag over his shoulder and followed her out the door. 

He couldn't get the man out of his head that day. It had been such a strange dream, sharper than usual. He had felt the breeze on his arms and the road under his feet like he was really there; he'd heard the man as clear as if he were truly standing only yards away. Eren felt a blush creeping up and he hid his face in his hands with a small sigh. 

Armin Arlert snorted and poked him in the arm. 

"C'mon Eren, what's got you all worked up?"

They sat in the back row of chemistry class, hidden behind the rest of their peers. This was useful when they decided to sleep or gossip the whole period, but not as useful when they were actually trying to pay attention. 

Eren leaned back in his chair, avoiding his eyes. He knew he could tell him about this. Armin had been his best friend for years, and they'd told each other everything. It's not as if being gay was a new concept, as Armin was in an eight month relationship with football star Jean Kirstein. But Eren felt that his dream was something he wanted to keep private, and telling someone else about it just wouldn't feel right. 

"I uh," Eren leaned to the side to get a look at the board. "I'm just confused. When did he teach us how to calculate volumes?" He hoped Armin wouldn't question any further.

Armin suspected he was hiding more, but decided to give him his space. He loved that about him. 

"He did the day you slept the whole period," Armin turned back to the notebook full of lecture notes that he somehow always managed to get, even when Eren was distracting him. He organised his notes by subject, topic, and something else he called 'main ideas.' Armin thumbed through them until he found what he was looking for, and pushed the book over to Eren. 

"There. Copy it before class ends, 'cause I'll need them to look at tonight." 

"Yeah, yeah, you always do," Eren sighed, pulling out his pen as he got to work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you super much for the support on the last chapter, it was really encouraging! This is a bit longer than the first chapter, but they might just get longer anyways as I go along.

The next week passed uneventfully, and Eren forgot all about the dream. Until he had another.  
He threw himself down on the couch Friday night, exhausted from another four plus hours of studying. School was going to be the end of him.

Eren flipped through channels on the TV without really reading them, until his arm drooped to the floor and he fell asleep.

/He stood on the same road as before, in the same chilly weather. The streetlights gave an eerie yellow flood to the ground, illuminating the man that stood a lot closer than last time.  
Eren's heart did a sickening flip. Whether he liked it or not, he had really wanted to see the man again. He didn't even know if he was real. Probably not, but even if that were so, Eren got a kick out of him. He wondered what he sounded like. Did he speak to him last time? He was pretty sure he did. As a matter of fact, Eren recalled hearing something that had caught his attention.

"What's your name, brat?"

That was it. Brat. Who did this guy think he was? Eren stood a little taller and tried to come off as collected as the stranger in front of him.

"Eren," he waited for a response until it didn't come. "And yours?”

"Levi," he smirked. "You're a little young to be out so late."

He scowled. "I'm already sleeping. This isn't real. Besides," he ranted, though Levi was looking more at his ear than really listening. "I'm an adult. I don't need a bedtime. How old are you?"

He randomly remembered a distant lesson in middle school, telling him to never give out his real name, age, and address on the internet. Well, he'd already broken one rule. Eren approached him without fear. This was a dream after all, nothing could stop him. Levi looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

"How old are you?" He repeated with less patience.

They held each other's gaze, determined to best the other in a war of dominance. Eren finally lost, averting his gaze with red ears.

"Fine, don't tell me," Eren pouted.

Levi almost laughed- a quick breath out of his nose. It was the most Eren had seen him portray.  
"If you must know, I'm 21." He seemed to study him, eyeing him in both curiosity and amusement.  


Eren blanched.

"Wait, what?" He stepped back, then forward, then back again. "You're an old man!?" He took several steps back when Levi threw a particularly nasty scowl, and said, "I'm not old, you insolent-"/p>

"Eren, our electricity bill would truly appreciate it if you didn't leave the TV on when you go to sleep."

Eren groaned. Was he ever going to finish a conversation with that man?

No, not just 'that man,' Levi. Eren's stomach twisted. He realized Mikasa had not stopped talking.  
"-I mean, Dad's paying anyways but I just feel like if we cross the line he's gonna tell us to start supporting ourselves. Or something awful like that-"

Eren interrupted, "How was your date with Annie last night?"

She shyly fingered her hair, but she smiled, "Eren you know it wasn't a date. She's not interested."

He snorted. "She's not interested in anything. You could throw a burning child on a stick in front of her and she'd act as if it were in her way or something-"

"Hey that's not-"  
"Do you think she feels at all? It's like she has crystal around her heart." They started to giggle. They both knew Eren was absolutely right. Mikasa flicked him gently on the ear and started to the kitchen.  
"It's one in the afternoon," she called over her shoulder. "Get something to eat and go out. You deserve it."

He thought of his notebooks and textbooks he left strewn around his room and agreed. He picked up his keys and headed for the door.

"I'll go somewhere with Armin. I'll be back in a bit."

Mikasa scolded, "Eren! You're still wearing the same clothes from ye-"

He cut her off as he slammed the door behind him, chuckling at her distant chastisement.  
As soon as he pulled up to Armin's apartment, he could hear his saint Bernard booming at the sound of the car door shutting. The door opened, releasing him. Armin scrambled after him.

"Oh Eren- No Titan, get back here -I'm glad you called, I'm, - ouch! Down boy! -I'm just dying to get out of the house. Where do you want to go?"

Eren squatted down to accept the over-sized puppy, rubbing behind his ears where he liked. "I was thinking that little coffee place by the market?" Eren asked. Titan began to lap at his face, leaving a sickening trail of thick dog saliva. Eren spluttered and groaned.

"Oh, gross, gross, Armin grab me a towel."

His friend retreated back into the building, giggling. Eren followed.

The apartment was simply organized. To Armin it was a mess, but to everyone else it was an organized clutter. He had tacked various maps and posters of distant countries on the walls. Most of them were of Rome. Armin had dreamed of going to Rome for years since his parents died, so he could see the place they'd grown up. He was saving up for a trip, but as he was hardly managing to pay for his bills, he wasn't getting far.

Armin came out of the kitchen with a damp washcloth, looking apologetic.

"You know how he is. I'll give you a few minutes to wash off and then we'll take my car."  
Eren accepted the towel gratefully and agreed to meet him out there in a minute.  
Alone in the kitchen, he rubbed at the drying goop from his cheeks. He tossed the towel, and fell unconscious to the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Jearmin anyone?  
> Also!  
> I can't figure out if AO3 does italics, so I'm going to put /'s around what would usually be so, since I have a lot of them. So if you're wondering, that's what they'll be.

/Eren found himself on the same road, in the same weather, with the same man. This time, though, he was a less than happy to see him.

"What the hell," Eren choked. "I'm not even sleeping."

Levi strode up to him and reached to touch him. He scoffed. This was a /dream/, he wasn't able to-

But he did.

His fingers grazed over his bicep, down to his forearm. Eren shivered. The man hummed in thought.

"Just a test."/

"Eren! Eren, should I call the hospital? Did you hit your head? What's going on, when was the last time you ate? Eren, sit up now."

Armin put his arms under Eren, but he was twice his size. He couldn't even raise him off the ground. Eren shook himself awake.

"Armin," he gasped. "I'm fine, I'm okay."

A test? What test? What was going on? He had never had the same dream twice, much less likely having such an abnormal dream three times.

He wondered if they were even dreams at all. He'd never, /ever/ fallen asleep like that before, like some narcoleptic puppy. It worried him to think of more dangerous places where he could have fallen asleep.

He crawled up from the floor, ignoring his friend's protests.

"Armin." He put his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders, silencing him into a pout. "I locked my legs. Let's go," he smiled for good measure. Armin sighed and lead him out the door. 

Sitting across each other at a little table outside the shop, Eren lightly teased Armin about his study habits.

"Do you breathe in the letters when you read?" He did a bad imitation of Armin inhaling, but he was still giggling.

"Eren, stop, stop it or I'll breathe them back at you. Dragon fire!" He blew out forcefully, and they lost it again, snickering.

Eren was making an effort to distract himself from the incident in the kitchen. Though it was working for now, he couldn't avoid it for long. Something was going on and, honestly, he didn't even know what.

Recovering from their fit, Eren considered telling Armin about it. He was logical, he would at least be able to assure Eren he wasn't going crazy.

Or was he? He decided at that it would be best to keep it to himself for now.

They chatted at the table for two more hours, enjoying the gentle late February sun. But as the afternoon went on, they got uncomfortable in the little metal chairs, and decided to go to Armin's house to play some computer games.

Armin pulled out his key to unlock the door, but when he test-turned it it was already unlocked. He froze.

"E-Eren. My house..."

Eren clenched his jaw. If someone was in there, he'd show them who to pick on. He strode right in the house, against Armin's protests.

"Alright," he called in his most macho voice. "Whoever's in here better get their ass down or so help me-"

"Woah woah woah woah woah woah," there was a as someone flew down the stairs.

Eren was almost disappointed. "Jean?"

Jean was a sweaty mess, dirt covered his hands, and was that a flower petal stuck to his temple?

He grinned wide. "Just a... thing for my man, chill."

Armin poked his head in over the frame.

"Jean?"

His grin was wiped off.

"Wait, no, you weren't supposed to be back yet. Can you like, leave for another," he looked at his watch. "Half hour? Hour?"

Armin stepped over the threshold. He scrunched up his nose at the sight of his boyfriend.  
"What are you doing up there? Why are you so dirty?"

Jean moved so he was in front of the stairwell. Eren just stood there looking like the brightest kid of his age.

"Armin, please," he looked ready to cry. "I need an hour. Just one hour. Stay down here and do something, I don't care. Just not upstairs."

They looked at each other long enough to make Eren feel a bit uncomfortable, until Armin giggled and turned to the living room.

"Okay Eren," he tugged on his arm. "Let's leave Jean to his playtime and have our own."  
Jean was back upstairs before he could finish his sentence.

For the next hour and a half, they played a horror game on Armin's laptop. They didn't know the title, but with the curtains closed and the lights off, it had them jumping and giggling.  
Armin was clutching Erens arm as they approached a dark hallway.

"Why do you have to go in the scary hallway?" Armin whined.

"You have to go to the scariest places to move on," Eren chuckled. "That's how all these games are."

As Eren got closer, the music grew higher and louder, and as Eren went to-

"Ready!"

/"Shit!"/

Armin squealed deafeningly, whether at the curse word or the actual scare, either was just as likely.

Jean was all washed up now. He had taken a shower while they were wrapped up in their game. He made an effort to look nice in his button up and jeans, and he looked positively beaming.

Armin stuttered.

"Jean, what..."

Jean lifted Armin off the couch in a bridal worthy sweep and started up the stairs.

"Jean!" Armin was blushing, both embarrassed and flattered. Eren remained where he was to listen to the two gently bicker about Armin's ability to get up the stairs on his own.

When they got to the top, Eren heard Armin gasp, and there was some murmuring that he didn't catch. But then,

"Jean, prom isn't for like, two months!"

"I know I know but," Jean shifted nervously. "Just didn't want anyone else to steal 'ya."

Before Jean had started dating Armin at te beginning of the school year, he and Eren had never gotten along. They'd been in the office for more fights than they could count, and said a few things they'd rather forget. But when Eren saw how loved he made Armin feel, he became the adult, and decided to make nice. In the beginning, they'd tolerated each other for Armin's sake, but now Eren was glad to call him a friend.

He wondered if he could snap a picture before things got too heated. On the side table was one of Armin's many cameras, that Eren had no clue how to work except for 'On' and 'Take picture.' He booted up the camera and tip-toed up to Armin's room. As he aimed the camera, though, he took a moment to ogle at the work.

Jean had pinned well over a couple hundred roses, one by one, on the three walls around Armin's Queen sized bed. He had candles set in various places, which Eren thought was pretty cheesy, though they made the room look nice. On the wall adjacent to his bed he spelled out, 'PROM?' with the darkest red rose petals, which he probably plucked himself. The two in mention were French kissing shamelessly in the middle of the room, which gave Eren a perfect shot.

Armin jumped at the click of the camera.

"Eren!" He blushed.

He winked, and dashed out of the room to give them some privacy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are making this loads of fun to write, thank you super~  
> This one's shorter, but introduces a new idea I'll have fun with.

Saturday night, Eren lay wide awake in bed. He wanted to sleep, but his anxiousness to see the man made him restless. 

His room was abnormally cold, just the way he liked it. A street light illuminated the various comic posters on his walls, but the tick tick of his wall clock that usually lulled him to sleep was nothing but a nuisance tonight. 

He tried to distract himself with thoughts of school. Did he get his pre-cal assignment done? He wondered if his sculpture in art class made it through the kiln. 

As he was trying to remember whether he'd been assigned homework or not in English, he heard a whisper. 

/Eren./

Why would Mikasa be at his door at- he stretched to see the clock -midnight? He wondered if she was okay. 

He rolled out of bed and went to the door, but before he could open it he heard it again. 

/Eren./

It wasn't coming from the door. 

He whirled around and looked for the suspect. It seemed like a familiar voice, and way too deep to be his sister. He flicked on the light to get a better sight, but there was no one in his room. 

/Brat, I know you can hear me./

He gawked. Was that…

/If you're looking, you won't find me./

"Oh my God," Eren whispered out loud. "Voices in my head. I've finally lost it."

/No, brat, listen,/ Levi sounded clearer now. Like he was using a microphone that was just starting to work. 

/This is weird for me too, and I know you must be pretty freaked out,/ he rushed. /But I'll explain, just hear me out./

He was inside his head. Inside his thoughts. Eren had yearned for something like this when he was younger, being a lonely child with anger issues. But this was crazy. He didn't need this, he didn't ask for this. He took deep breaths and rubbed his temples. All of a sudden a humiliating thought occurred to him, while all of his most embarrassing memories rushed in at once. 

/Can you see my thoughts?/ Eren- thought? -as loud as he could. He heard Levi groan. 

/God, not so loud. I can hear you but, er, no, I can't really see anything yet./

Yet. 

/But listen, I have a question for you./

Eren waited. He could almost feel Levi get nervous for what he was about to say. Or maybe he was feeling it. Who knew?

/Kid,/

/Eren./ Eren corrected. 

Levi was silent for a long time. Eren left the light on and crawled back under his covers. 

/Eren./ He finally gave in sarcastically. With a more serious tone, he asked, /Do you remember me at all? From the dream./ 

That was a stupid question, he was talking to him right then. Obviously he remembered him. This was getting stranger by the second. 

/Hey, I was just checking./

/What do you mean, then?/ If you're talking about the way I haven't stopped thinking about you since that first dream then yes, of course, Eren thought. 

/I heard that./ Levi chuckled. Eren groaned and smashed a pillow over his head, but it didn't block out the voice inside it. 

Eren panicked. He wildly thought of the nearest churches. Maybe he could get this exorcised before it consumed him-

/I'm not a fucking spirit, don't waste your time-/

Was there medication for this?

/Eren./ He hadn't expected the man to sound so gentle. /Just listen, listen./

/I've done nothing but listen and so far we've gotten nowhere,/ Eren thought bitterly. 

Silence.  
/Look,/ he sighed. /I started off on the wrong foot. You're scared. You're confused. Go to sleep and we'll start over tomorrow./

Eren flipped over on top of the pillow and began to protest. 

"You can't just leave! What are you? Is this some kind of joke? I don't understand what's going on, but you can't just-" 

/tap tap/

"Eren?" 

Whoops. Was that out loud? 

He flung over the side of his bed and grabbed his phone, pulling it to his ear before Mikasa peeked in the door. 

He muttered a fake goodbye before setting it back down. 

/Wow, real smooth,/ Levi smirked. 

"Shut up- I mean," Mikasa blinked sleepily at him in her soft blue robe. Her usually ironed hair was wavy from being slept on; he had obviously woken her. She eyed him as if he were sick. Maybe he was. 

"Sorry," he muttered. He gave a lame excuse about a 'very important' phone call and yes of course he'd go back to sleep right away. She left to get her own.

When the door clicked shut, he crammed himself in a bundle and pulled the blankets over his head, trying to bury the feeling in his gut that he was losing it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me I'm still figuring out the plot.

The next few days, Eren spent most of his free time doing research. He hid in the school library at lunch and the public library after school, absorbing numerous articles about spirits and such things. The more articles he read, though, the more convinced he was that Levi wasn't actually some demon from hell. He wasn't trying to manipulate Eren or hurt him in any way. He just bickered to him a lot and cussed more than you'd expect. Other than that he wasn't all that bad. But as mind numbingly pointless as all his reading was, it didn't stop Levi from soliciting inside Eren's thoughts. Which he did as he pleased.

/You're wasting your time, brat,/ he sighed for the thousandth time that week. Eren ignored him, scrolling through yet another Google search.

There was silence for a while. Maybe he finally got bored, he almost hoped.

/Sorry to disappoint, but I'm still here./

Eren groaned, earning a chuckle from the man inside his head.

Feeling snarky, he reached between his knees to open the backpack he'd brung to the library that evening. Pulling out his cheap headphones, he put them in his ears and loaded some Disney music. As soon as it started playing, he jumped at the sudden wave of frustration he felt from Levi.

/Turn that off or I swear on-/

But Eren didn't get to find out what he was swearing on because he swept up the volume full blast, drowning out Levi's curse. He resisted the urge to laugh out loud in the quiet atmosphere, snorting in his sleeve.

Unfortunately, with the Aladdin soundtrack taking up all his consciousness he didn't feel much like reading anymore. But, that was okay, he thought. He was beginning to think Levi wasn't all that bothersome.

\-----

How wrong, wrong, oh so wrong he was.

He stood under the running water in the shower that night with the temperature a little higher than usual, letting the steam curl around him. He lazily lathered his hair in conditioner and began to rub it in, smearing it on his face too because hey maybe it would make his skin softer?

Rinsed out and feeling clean, he reached down to turn the stream off when he heard the voice. 

/What do you think you're doing, brat?/

Eren shrieked and backed into the shower curtain. He had it wrapped around him to cover his body before he realized who had spoken.

"What are you doing! I'm showering!"

Ever since Levi had first contacted Eren mentally, he'd found it was a technique to practice. He could now see through Eren's eyes. Literally. And he was not all that grateful for it.

/Get your ass back in there and wash your body-/

"This is so vulgar- Oh, my God, can you see me?"

/We're both men, quit throwing a fit./

"-nasty old pervert-"

/Don't flatter yourself./

Eren unraveled himself from the curtain and stomped out of the shower.

/You're disgusting./

"Whatever."

Tucking a towel around his waist, he wandered toward the kitchen to find something to snack on. He opened the pantry, full of his and Mikasa’s usual monthly supply. Pretzels, sugared cereals, boxed pastas, cheap fruit gummies, Oreo cookies, and such. Eren usually woke up early on Sunday mornings to bake something, so they also had various bulks of flour, leaveners, sugars, baking chocolate bars, spices, and other things he’d use. He wondered what Levi liked to eat. Did he eat?

He had been mulling over the thought that Levi wasn’t just his imagination, but he tried to shut that idea down whenever it came up, because it just seemed too, well, crazy. He was hesitant to discuss it with him, so he respected that and it was well left alone.

“What do you like to eat?” Eren eyed the Oreos. He should probably get something more nutritious in before he took those. He grabbed a box of cereal and shut the door.

/None of your childish junk,/ Levi griped. /Yogurts, salads, real food./ He rolled his eyes. Pouring his cereal, he heard a soft padding of feet and turned to see his sister entering the kitchen. She wore one of his shirts with some thin sweat pants, and her hair indicated she had just woken up.

“Are you nocturnal?”

“Eren, please, put something on,” she rubbed her knuckles into her eyes. Annie followed behind a minute later, wearing her own shirt and running shorts. She grimaced at Eren’s indecency, but didn’t mention it.

Eren hopped up to the stool at the bar and began to sift his cereal around, as he always did before he ate it.

/Actually,/ Levi drawled humourlessly. /Just open your towel and give them a show. I’m sure they’ll appreciate the towel once it’s over./ Eren gasped, choking on the milk now leaking out of his nose. Delicious.

Mikasa stared with raised eyebrows. He scrambled to his room to put something on, hoping to gain back a sliver of dignity.

Once in his room, he tossed the towel away from him and decided to sleep. He was instantly taken by a dream.

/Eren wasn't surprised to find himself in the same scene as before. What did surprise him was that instead of standing in the middle of the road, he was sitting on a wooden park bench on the side. Levi sat next to him with his arm over the back. It was intimidating to be so near him.

The dawn made the air a bit warmer, but he had goosebumps running up his arms. He felt a jacket being draped over his shoulders. He accepted it without putting his arms through it, instead using it as a cape. He breathed in the scent of leather and cigarettes.

"You smoke?" He would figure Mr. Clean wouldn't litter his body.

"Hardly," he turned away. "Just when I need a break from someone. It's a nice excuse." Eren chuckled.

He looked the smaller man over while he wasn't facing him. His ivory skin was stark against the darkness under his eyes, making him look exhausted. He had a few loose strands of bangs in his eyes, but he made no move to fix them. Before he knew it, he was doing it for him.

Levi didn't flinch as Eren brushed the strands away with his fingertips, and not even when he lingered on his brow. Only when Eren pulled away did he reveal a hint of humour in his smirk. He reached up and flicked his cheek.

"Hey!" Eren clutched his face.

"Tch. So dramatic."

They sat in silence, until Eren noticed something.

"Why isn't the sun moving up?"

True, the sun had not moved. It seemed stuck just below the horizon, teasing of a rich sunrise. Eren thought it might be romantic, sitting with Levi while the sun rose...

Romantic? No, no, that would be crazy. What was he thinking? He didn't even remotely like Levi. He was negative, and rude, and sour, and-

"We can only be where I can imagine," his features softened as he looked out to the sun. "and I'm not quite adequate to paint nature's scenery."

-and poetic.

They sat in without speaking a while, enjoying the silence and the peace.

"What time is it?" Eren spoke as if the atmosphere were glass and he didn't want to break it. "I mean in the real world."

"You should be waking up..." He thought a moment. "About now. Thank you for sitting with me, Eren. It wasn't too insufferable."/

Eren opened his eyes. Lying nude on his bed in the early morning, he smiled to himself. Was that an actual compliment? He smiled wider.

/No problem./

He heard Levi scoff.

/Calm down, brat./

He didn't.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you find a mistake- Such as, Excuse me, did you just say this man was working at McDonald's, when in chapter whatsit you said he was working at Burger King? -PLEASE CORRECT ME. I get so flutter brained about everything that I get places and ages and things mixed up.   
> Other than that, this is loads of fun to write, so thank you!~

"Eren," Armin sat across from his friend in the library, but Eren seemed to be somewhere else. He stared at the paper in front of him with a glassy look in his eyes, his pencil hanging in his fingers. 

"Eren," he poked him on the forehead with his eraser. He started, and fidgeted with his papers. 

"I, uh, what was that, number four?" Armin sighed and set down his pencil. 

"Eren, what's going on? You've been completely distracted the past couple weeks. Is something going on at home?" He lowered his voice. "Do you need help? Jean's mom is a psychiatrist, she can-"

"Armin, Armin, no, I'm fine." Last thing he wanted was any help from Jean. He'd never let it go. 

The truth was, it was pretty hard to concentrate when you were half-living someone else's life. Levi tried his best not to distract him too much, but he couldn't just not think. So as Eren sat in English, he listened to Levi read off other people's files for hiring. As he worked in calculus, he felt Levi's annoyance at his most current client. He still had dreams with him, but only when he was actually sleeping. Thankfully, Levi had not knocked him out when he was standing, like that time at Armin's. Their dreams had gone similarly as the last one, just lounging on the bench and making small talk. But Eren had found that lately, he'd rather be in the dream than anywhere else.

But why? Why did he like being with Levi so much? Why did his presence make him feel relaxed and anxious all at once? He'd had a crush on a girl once. He remembered the butterflies and stutters that followed, and how he could hardly look her in the eye. Did he feel this way because of Levi's intimidating air? Or did he...

A thump on his forehead brought him back to earth. 

"You're doing it again, Eren." He sighed, and closed his books. "I wish you would just tell me what's on your mind."

It's more of what's in my mind, Eren thought. He sighed. 

"I'm sick of studying, we've been at it for three hours," he pushed his chair back and stood up, stretching. "Let's go on a walk, yeah?" He knew Armin couldn't resist being outdoors. 

His eyes lit up. "Sure, yeah, that sounds nice!"

They left their things in a pile next to the building and started down the main road. They lived in what most would call a small town, but to Eren it was cozy. He'd never been in the city, and couldn't imagine the misery it'd cause him. From what he'd seen in movies, they were grey, gross, and claustrophobic. He couldn't stand to be be closed in like that. 

Here, he was free. He appreciated the thick trees that sheltered him, and the soft winds that danced through. He loved the dirt roads he knew like the back of his hand where he had so many memories. He was especially fond of the stores and community buildings on the main road, where everyone knew and adored him. They were far from any city, and that suited him just fine. 

So far, in fact, that he and Armin were able to walk in any direction for hours before even reaching a real road. Some days they'd make a bet to see how far they could go but other days, they'd stroll along leisurely, appreciating Mother Nature. Today was one of those days.

It was warm enough out that they had ditched their sweaters, the last of the fall weather saying goodbye before being kicked out by the winter. Armin looked nice in his fitting light blue shirt and jeans, while Eren felt a bit scruffy in his wrinkled brown shirt and equally wrinkled jeans. 

They walked in a comfortable silence a while, until Armin broke it.

"I heard a certain someone's been eyeing you," he smiled. 

"Who?" Eren wasn't too interested. He didn't want anyone but Levi, anyways. 

Woah. 

What?

Where did that come from? He felt Levi's surprise, but he kept silent. Eren coughed nervously. 

"You know that girl who steals off of everyone's lunch tray?" He continued. 

"Oh, Sasha? Are you being serious right now?"

Armin covered his mouth with his hands and snorted. "Careful, she might just," he paused for effect, 

"eat you up."

Eren pushed him on the shoulder. "Get out." They laughed out loud, startling the nearby birds. They paused to watch them rise, dip, and turn to resettle in the tree. 

The rest of the walk was light-hearted, giving Eren a few hours of relaxation he didn't know he needed. When they reached the library again, they got in their separate cars and waved goodbye. Driving home, Eren began to realise how down Levi was feeling, and he felt a little rude for ignoring him for so long. 

"Whats going on?" Even though he reached him just fine by thinking, he preferred to speak aloud when he was alone. 

He felt a mental block as Levi tried to hide. 

/Butt out, brat./

When Levi put up his wall, it was literally a wall. He discovered this a couple days ago when Levi was especially angry with a client on the phone, cussing and grumbling for almost three hours. Eren had finally told him to 'just shut the fuck up already,' and immediately regretted it when he felt the barrier. He beat at it continuously until he finally relented, and accepted erens apology to get him to lay off. 

"I wish you would tell me how to do that." If he distracted him, he might let his wall down. 

/Then I wouldn't be able to reach you,/ Levi smirked. /You're not allowed to hide from me./

Eren sighed. "That's unfair."

/Sucks, kid./ 

With this, a few details of Levi's day seeped through. Eren saw a text message from someone under the name Farlan, and felt Levi's memory of his heart sinking. 

'She's not doing too well. I'll call later with details.'

Someone behind Eren blared their horn, snapping him out of Levi's day. He had stopped at a green light. Whoops. 

"Who's not doing too well?" He pressed on the gas. He was almost home. 

/Figure it out yourself, if you're just going to pick through my thoughts,/ Levi growled. Eren felt the wall retreat, but hesitated. 

"No, wait," he pulled in to his drive, and turned the ignition off.

"Where are you right now?"

/My couch,/ he answered slowly, confused. Eren unlocked his door, stepped in, and locked it behind him. Throwing his bag on the floor, he layed down on the thick couch and got settled. Levi began to see where it was going. 

"Tell me about it yourself."

And, blackness.

\-----

/Levi's POV/

The road. 

The sunrise. 

The bench. 

All the same. But Levi wouldn't ask for any different. He glanced over to see Eren looking right at him, cocking his head curiously. He sat sideways on the bench, criss-cross-applesauce with his hands in his lap. What a child. 

Levi got straight to the point. 

"My sister's dying. Cancer." He hurried on, "And don't give me any of that so-sorry-hope-it-heals shit. She's dying. End of story." Eren's mouth made a little 'o,' and he didn't speak for a while. Levi closed his eyes and leaned his head in his hands. He felt shaking arms reach around him, and Eren leaned his head on his shoulder blade. 

"Then I hope it's kind to her in the end," he whispered. Levi opened his eyes wide in his hands. Of all the bullshit Eren could have said, he didn't expect something... Not bullshitty. 

"Me too," he breathed. He leaned into Eren's hold, which made him shake even more. 

"Jesus, kid, I'm not going to hit you. Just hold me." Eren laughed nervously. 

He didn't think about it. He didn't consider he was a grown man, seeking comfort from a 17 year old boy. At the moment, he just wanted to melt into those tan arms and never leave. 

Isabelle was his life. He had grown up right by her side. He had experienced every single good memory, bad memory, and rough time with her, and she him. He'd never been without her. The thought of her leaving forever was unbearable. He didn't know how he would cope...

He winced as his heart was wrenched with new pain, and Eren clutched him to his chest, rocking him gently. 

Levi breathed in the scent of Eren's shirt. He smelled like clean laundry, faint cologne, and- dirt? It didn't smell like the dust he lived around. This dirt smelled of rivers and trees and flowers. It was nice. Levi had never thought he would appreciate dirt. He snorted at the thought. 

"Hm," Eren ran his fingers through his undercut absentmindedly. It was soothing, and Levi cherished every second of it. He peeked up at Eren, who had his own eyes closed. He realized the kid was falling asleep. 

Falling asleep in a dream? How did that work? 

He decided not to dwell on that too deeply. 

"Oi, kid. Wake up."

"I'm awake, I'm awake," he mumbled without opening his eyes. 

Levi let his own eyelids slip, and fell asleep to the rhythm of Eren's breathing. 

\-----

Levi jolted awake, confused by the concept of the situation at hand. Fall asleep in a dream, and wake up in real life? O-o-okay. 

Looking over at his clock, he sneered at the bright display of 4:23 a.m. He rubbed his forehead, trying to dismiss the headache he got from waking up early. He decided that since he had to wake up for work in an hour anyways, he might as well wake up. 

He dragged himself to the kitchen to boil water for tea. Waiting for it to boil, he recalled last night's details, and the mug he had grabbed slipped out of his hand to the counter with a loud thunk. 

He was falling for the kid. 

Fantastic. Fan-fucking-tastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Because I have been dying for some Levi POV.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally figured out the plot. It's about time, I know, I know.

Eren woke up with his heart pounding. He laid there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what had just happened. 

He held him. 

He actually touched him. 

And he let him. 

He had smelled the cigarette smoke on his shirt, and he sure didn't imagine the sharp shoulder blade stabbing into his cheek when he first pulled him close. 

He sat up, lethargic with sleep. Looking up at the clock, he yawned a cheer. It was only 4:23 in the morning. He could get in three more hours of sleep if he went to bed now. 

/Wait till you get to the real world, kid,/ Levi grumbled. /You'll learn that we start functioning at five./ 

/Yeah, yeah, let me have my day./ Eren sulked back. /Were not all old here./ 

Levi ignored him. 

His room was colder than usual tonight, so he didn't bother taking his clothes off. He curled deep under his blankets and fell asleep immediately. 

\-----

He opened his eyes again at 7:28. He took his spare two minutes to plan out his day before shutting the alarm off on the first ring.

He sensed Levi's frustration at whatever he was dealing with, and laughed softly at his discomfort. 

/Shut it, brat./

"Hey Levi,/ Eren had a thought. 

/Hey, what?/ 

"What does it feel like when I'm sleeping and you're not?"

Eren had always gone to sleep before Levi, and woken up after. He wondered if he could still hear his thoughts. 

Levi thought for a second. Eren got up and began to dress for school. 

/It's cottony. Like when you're in a dream, and you're not really touching or smelling or looking at anything. It makes me sorta tired, actually./ 

"Oh, interesting." He pulled an old band T-shirt over his head and grabbed his bag. He heard his sister call from downstairs. 

"Eren? You okay?" 

He popped his head out of the door. "Yeah, what's going on?"

She appeared at the bottom of the stairs and sent up a smile. "No, I just walked in and you were sleeping on the couch last night. I didn't want to bother you, but I was just making sure." 

He grinned back. "I'll be down in a second."

She continued talking as he went back in to grab his bag. 

"Let's walk to school today, it's not that cold out. It'll probably be one of the last days we can be outside for a while."

He thumped down the stairs to meet her at the door. 

"Sounds good, let's call-"

"Already did." She smiled, and the petite blonde in matter rapped on the door right on time. 

"Knock knock!" He called through the door. 

"Who's there?" Eren joked, but Armin was two steps ahead of him. 

"What's a chemists favorite kind of tree?" 

Mikasa frowned. "That's not how a knock knock joke-"

Armin flung the door open. 

"A chemistree!" He looked around expectantly. 

Eren slowly pushed the door shut, and locked it. 

Armin whined on the other side. "I thought it was pretty good." They all laughed, and headed out. 

The morning was cold, but it was nice. Their breath puffed out in front of them as they laughed and talked, and they shuffled the leaves around their feet on the ground. The air smelled fresh of frost and wet leaves. Eren was almost glad Mikasa had dragged them outside. 

The school wasn't far, and they soon were walking behind other students on their way to school. Approaching the front doors, Eren felt a wave of distraught from the other man. 

"What's-" he corrected himself. 

/Levi, what's going on?/ 

He felt Levi scramble to hide, but he failed. Eren got a glimpse of what he was thinking. 

/He saw a young girl of about four or five sitting next to him, tears streaming down her face. Her hair was pulled up into pigtails, combed perfectly by a woman's hand. She wore a blue Jaws T-shirt and boy jean shorts. To the left of her lay a scooter, thrown on its side where she had fallen. She held out her arm streaked with scrapes for him to bandage, while he tried to console her. 

/Isabelle, you're fine, it's just a scrape./ His voice was boyishly high, as he was still a child, but nonetheless Levi's. He wrapped the gauze around her arm, starting from her elbow to her wrist. It bled softly, but it seemed to set her off even worse. 

/I-I'm going to bleed to d-death./ She sobbed. /And you-you'll be so 'lone, and mom will cry too, and it'll b-be my f-/ She wailed grossly and continued to cry. Levi sighed, but he had a soft smile as he finished the bandage and pulled her on his lap./

Were these Levi’s memories? 

/He was being dragged under his arms toward the tallest ride in the park. Isabelle grinned wickedly on his left, and Farlan looked smug on his right as they made their way. Levi didn't put up too much of a fight, since they were both very much capable of forcing him to do anything. He was sadly wrapped around their fingers. But that didn't stop him from fighting tooth and nail to persuade them otherwise. 

The screaming around him mixed with the bells of game booths was giving him a headache. The smell of greasy carnival food was making his stomach hurt. The spring sun beating down on the blacktop made him uncomfortable, not to mention all the discarded food and gum littering the ground. Fucking gross. 

/This is ridiculous, these rides aren't even fun. Let's just go home./

/Le-e-evi, you're just nervous./ His sister patted the hand clenched in her grip. 

/It's okay to be scared./ Farlan winked. 

He scowled. /I'm not scared, I've ridden this shit every year because you idiots force me on them. I hate it./ They laughed at him. 

Two minutes later, he was hiding his face against Isabelle as the roller coaster crawled up. His stomach twisted terribly as he prepared for the drop. He hated these./

Another memory. 

/Levi lay on his stomach in his bed, reading 'Jane Eyre.' It was required for his English class, but he was almost into it. Almost. 

He heard a sharp thump on the wall. His sister had invited her three-month boyfriend over, and for all he knew they were doing anything from putting together a puzzle to making out. The thought of the boys tongue down her throat made him gag, but he knew her better than that. She wasn't interested in anything like that. Her own morals and interests came far before the ones of a fifteen year old boy. 

Another thump, and a scuffle. What was going on? He closed his book and rolled out of bed. Approaching the wall between his and his sisters room, he heard a faint sob. 

He whipped open his nightstand drawer and pulled out his six inch dagger. Quiet as a hunter, he left his room and walked in to Isabelle's. 

The boy was holding her down with his knees on the bed. He had one hand smothering her mouth and the other in the biggest no-no spot in the book. She had tears of rage pouring out of her eyes, while she weakly punched at his face, but she couldn't even reach. The boy had his back to the door, but Isabelle saw her savior and her eyes widened in relief. 

Levi stalked across the room, lifted the knife, and stabbed him right in the arm. 

The boy didn't move for a moment. He was frozen in shock. Isabelle found her chance and sat up, throwing him off of her. Levi pulled the knife out right before he flew off the bed. When the boy landed at his feet, he stomped down hard on his stomach, and leaned over to his pained face. 

/What did I say about my sister when you first asked her to date you?/ He hissed. Isabelle giggled at the sight. Levi raised his eyebrows at her. 

/You little masochist./ she winked. He returned his attention to the whimpering boy, clutching his bleeding arm. 

/Leave./ He released him, and he was gone. He grunted as he was hit with the oh-so-grateful weight of his sister. He chuckled and hugged her back. 

/Yeah, yeah, well,/ He pet her hair lovingly. /Let's see if we can get the blood out of the carpet before mom gets home./

Eren's own heart dropped. 

"Oh, Levi." He whispered.

/He held their hands as they waded in the ocean, their first time even swimming. The salt water made him shiver like crazy, but he was happy. They were too young to know the rules of this life. They only knew that the vast grey water went on forever and housed all sorts of magical beings. They were in a dream./

/Sitting in his math class, Levi tried desperately to keep his eyes open. He'd only gotten three hours of sleep in the past four days. These nightmares were killing him. Maybe he could just rest his eyes...

/Ackerman./ Fuck. 

He sat up straight, almost dizzy from fatigue. 

/What?/ The teacher narrowed his eyes. 

/I asked where your workbook homework is./ Before he could tell him he didn't even do it, his sister popped up from the back of the class. 

/He lent them to me. So sorry, here they are./ She held them up for the teacher to pick up. Snatching them, he found them satisfactory, and added them to the grading pile. 

He turned around in his seat to thank her, but she only winked at him before moving back to her own work. Thank god for sisters./ 

Eren stood dumbly in the road. Though only a few seconds had passed while he was standing there, he had relived some of Levi's most vivid memories. He felt his own heart seep with empathy for the man. 

/Levi.../

/It's okay./ Levi's voice was soft. /I can feel it./ 

Eren made a mental note to be extra soft with Levi from then on as he strode to catch up with his friends.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene at the beginning had me a smiley mess~

/Eren giggled as the sun began to melt. Literally.  
Levi was concentrating, full-sneer and brow furrowed as he tried to create a sunrise. But he couldn't help thinking of paint, so as a result, the sun began to drip rich, warm colors. Suddenly, like someone had pulled a string, the blob of sun shot up straight above them, and started dripping on the road. Levi cried out angrily and tucked his feet on the bench to avoid the mess. 

Eren couldn't contain his laughter. He was clutching his sides for dear life while Levi scowled at him, 

/Why don't you try it, cocky brat?/ His eyes widened in wonder. 

/D'ya think I can? I've never tried manipulating the dream before./ It had always been Levi to create the little paradise they were in. Over time it had grown more detailed; the grass chirped with hidden crickets, the trees rustled in the early breeze. But the sunrise had yet to make its climb over the crest of the hill. So levi, sick of seeing the same thing every dream, tried to change this. And so far, it hadn't gone well. 

/All you gotta do is think of something already here, and change it./ Levi glared at the puddles of paint as he said this, and suddenly, they were puddles of water. 

Eren took a deep breath, and looked right at the sun- which wasn't actually dangerous, since it had simply been reduced to a giant glob of orange paint. The whole scene was comical, to be honest. 

He closed his eyes, and started to imagine all the sunrises he had ever seen. He recalled his first time camping, dragging Armin by his little hand to the top of the mountain early in the morning to beat the sunrise. He remembered sneaking out to his house and climbing on the roof with him, where they lay for hours to watch it. He thought of all the ones he'd watched out his window, admiring the swatches of deep orange to a lovely rose. He imagined the lilac, the ginger, the merigold, the rusty oranges to the buttery yellows. He thought of all these colors, suspended delicately in the sky. 

Levi gasped, and Eren snapped his eyes open. 

The sky was beautiful. Layered with all the colors he'd thought of. It was a watercolor picture, worthy of an award. They hardly dared to breath, so as to not blow it away. Eren felt skin brush over his hand, and Levi let a shaky hand rest on top of Eren's. He smiled to himself and returned the affection. 

/Don't be scared, old man,/ Eren teased. 

/Shut it, kid./ 

If this wasn't a dream, and there were other people; if you were an onlooker, perhaps on their morning walk, standing across the road, you might notice the two men, gazing at the sunrise. You might notice how the grass around them is slightly greener than the other grass, or how the air they breathe seems to carry a shimmering physical peace. You might roll your eyes at their schoolboy blushes, or the way they tentatively held hands, like they were handling something fragile. But most of all, you would laugh at the man with the pitch black hair whose feet didn't quite reach the ground, and instead swang under him like a child./

\-----

Eren sat impatiently in his car after school, waiting for Armin to finish flirting with his horse before getting a ride home. He finally saw them walk out, hand in hand, and waved for him to hurry up. Jean noticed him, and decided at that moment to pull Armin for a passionate kiss. Armin, as shy as he was, couldn't escape his boyfriends possessive hold. Eren grimaced as Jean slipped his tongue in the poor boy's mouth, and blared his horn. 

He laughed when he saw Armin jump. With a last peck on the lips, he slipped out of his arms and ran to the car. Jean gave him a smug look, and Eren rolled his eyes at him. 

The door opened and he slipped in, his bag on one shoulder and an oversized cup of coffee in his hand. 

"Sorry, sorry, Eren, he just-"

Eren jokingly pushed him on the arm. "Let's pretend I didn't have to see that." 

After a few minutes on the road, he finally noticed the drink in his hand.

"Dang, Armin, that's more caffeine than you could fit in three of you."

Armin shrugged it off. "Grades don't come easy, y'know." 

He slowed to a stop in front of Armin's house. 

"Don't hurt yourself," he grinned. Armin smiled, and got out of the car.

"See 'ya tomorrow!" he waved. 

As he pulled away, he almost threw up at a sudden feeling of a sad nausea. He recognised this as stress sickness. His stomach clenched horribly and his vision swam, but he didn't have time to think about it before it was gone, shut out by a wall. A very suspicious wall. 

/Levi?/ He echoed off the wall. 

Silence. Stubborn silence.

Okay, well, if he wanted some alone time, that was fine with him. 

He let his mind wander as he thought of Levi. By now, it was no question that the man was real. Without a doubt, he knew he was talking to a man with a real life and a real body. But for some reason, it was an unspoken agreement that they weren't quite ready to see each other. They made no move to contact each other physically, instead keeping it strictly to telepathy and dreams. Besides, how different would it be in real life than in the dreams? 

Well, Eren thought. At least we wouldn't need to worry about waking up. 

After Eren got home, he strolled in the kitchen for something to eat. Suddenly, his head was stuffed with a cotton feeling. He felt light headed and tired. He stood bewildered for a moment. 

/Levi?/ No answer. He felt the connection, the rope that held their minds together, but it was like looking at a blank TV... 

Oh. So this is what Levi meant. It was a funny sensation, being awake while Levi wasn't. He checked the clock; why a nap at 4:00? Strange. Maybe it had something to do with how sick he had felt earlier. He wished he could be there for him.

He grabbed something to eat and lounged on the couch to watch TV. The cottony feeling made him a little sleepy, but it wasn't too bothersome. He could put up with it. 

Two hours and eight packs of fruit snacks later, the stuffy sensation in his head began to thin out. 

He started to pick up emotions from Levi. At first it was a relaxed peace. Was he a morning person? But then it spiraled down into disappointment. Nervousness. Anguish. Eren grew extremely worried. 

Before he could ask, the emotions were gone, replaced by a forced neutral boredom. 

/Levi?/ He tried.

The man grunted in response. 

/What's going on?/

Levi didn't respond for a while, and Eren heard snippets of his thoughts. 

/-tell him-/

/-not his problem, I'm the one-/

/-doesn't care-/

/-quit being a bitch-/ 

/Levi, you can tell me anything./ Cheesy, but he felt Levi relax. 

/Eren./ He continued, seeming to have come to a decision. 

/I went to see her today./

His sister. Was that the cause of the sickness he'd felt earlier in the car?

Levi's voice became distant, hard to hear behind all the anger and fear swirling around. 

/She's so sick, Eren. She's suffering. She's suffering and I'm sitting on my ass. How can I live like this, living my life while she's fighting for hers? How can I go on like this?/ Eren interrupted. 

/Levi, Levi, listen. She's going to die./

He shot back with so much sarcasm it made Eren wince. 

/Oh, shit, I never thought of that, thanks for that contributing-/

/Levi./ He rolled his eyes. Even when he was upset, his attitude was ridiculous. 

/What I was going to say was, she's going to die, cancer or not. Everyone's going to die. You can't throw your life away every time someone's gone. She's going to die, Falan's going to die, your mom's going to die, your dad, even I'm going die. You have to move on. You will move on. It's going to hurt for a while but you'll get through it./ He tried to sound softer. 

/It'll be okay./ 

He had told himself this every day since his mother died when he was nine, until suddenly, it really was okay. One day he woke up and realized his heart had been bandaged. He still felt the pain but it wasn't unbearable. It was hopeful. 

Levi was silent for a while, weakly trying to hold up a wall. Eren kept a respectful distance, and let him think. 

Then, the wall began to dissipate.

/Thank you, Eren./ 

Eren smiled. 

/Of course./


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are too sweet~

/I'm not in high school anymore, but from what I remember, you're supposed to answer the review questions after you read the book. Not before./ 

Eren scowled. His homework taunted him on the desk. He would flip it off if it had feelings. 

"Are you helping me or criticizing me?"

/I can't help you unless you know the material, brat./

"Haven't you read this before?" Eren glared at his battered copy of The Merchant of Venice. Why would they make students read this? To give himself some credit, he'd read the first three pages. But it was harder to sit through than a Twilight movie. And now he had a whole packet due tomorrow. 

/I'm not just going to tell you the answers, you won't learn that way./ 

"I won't seriously need to learn this anyways." 

/Pull the stick out of your ass and quit whining about it. I'll help you. What's the second question?/ Eren whined at him. 

"Wait, I didn't do the first." Levi sighed. 

"'Who is the main character of the story?'” He read aloud. “There's like, twenty characters. How do you figure out which one?"

/Try opening the book./ 

He obediently pulled it open and turned to act one, scene one. The book was old, beaten down by the kids that had previously had to drag it around in the past years. It smelled of old paper and dust. He crinkled his nose as he read. 

"Antonio?" 

/Bravo, kid, we're getting somewhere./ 

He wrote down the answer and read the second one. 

"'Who needs to borrow the money and why?'" Eren wildly imagined a series of question marks to voice his feeling about that question. His thoughts look a little something like, '?????'

/Again, open the book./ 

After a few agonizing pages of reading aloud, he finally found the answer. 

"Wait, so is he going to buy the woman?"

/No, no, he wants to be rich or something to be attractive to her. He wants to 'woo' her./ 

"Sounds gross."

/Very much so./

After scribbling that down, Eren pushed his computer chair back from the desk. 

"Time for a break, I'm exhausted."

/Are you serious, that was hardly-/ 

"Man, I'm hungry, too," he said loudly, stretching back in his chair. 

/Well don't come whining to me when you fail high school./ Eren laughed at him. He doubted he'd fail over a single missing assignment. 

/You're right, but when one missing assignment turns into forty, you'll find yourself in a pile of shit. Trust me, kid, I almost didn't graduate./ 

Levi? Failing school? He'd always imagined him to be a straight A student. He had gone to college after all. He also worked in an office. He couldn't be too bad if he was working with the public. Or working at all, really.

/Careful, or you'll find yourself on a one way road to my sad back story./ 

“Well, actually, I am curious...” Eren trailed off, sheepishly drawing lazy circles on the desk with an unopened pen. Levi chuckled. 

/When I was in my embarrassing teenage years, 14 or 15, I started doing some hardcore drugs./ Eren felt rude to have broached this topic. He wasn't expecting something so... intense. 

"Oh, Levi, you don't have to-"

/No, maybe you'll get your act together,/ he joked. He rolled his eyes. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. The world was just one huge eye roll. 

/Anyways, I didn't even start with the 'gateway drugs,' as they call them. One night I was with some kids I really should have avoided, and all of a sudden I was snorting my brains out. God, I thought I was going to die./ He listened intently, drinking in any information of Levi's background. 

/After a while, I was addicted. I was doing them several times a week, doing anything to get my hands on them. I was fucking lucky to not get an incurable STD or something. My parents were worried, but they were scared to set me off. They didn't want me running away and making it worse. But Isabelle, boy, she about killed me when she found out./ 

He felt affection emanating from the man, not towards him, but to his sister. /She dragged me into her room the first week of summer after junior year, and she locked me in with her. She didn't let me out for months. I’m not kidding. I got out a couple times, but I really payed for it. She left to get food and stuff, and of course the parents knew her plan, but the only people going through that door were her and Farlan. She kept me handcuffed to the bed most of the time after I kept getting out. God knows where she got good quality handcuffs. She lectured me every God damn day, I almost attacked her. It was the same thing every day, 'You're gonna get your act together,' or, 'Your grades are the first priority,' or, 'If you're gonna try to screw yourself up, you bet your ass I'll be there to do it before you can.'/ He paused, reminiscing. Then his voice grew dark. 

/The day she let me out of that room, of course I rebelled. Months after not having my fix, I took way more than I could handle. I woke up behind a fucking dumpster. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't know why someone would put me there. Or maybe I put myself there./ He chuckled. /But what really got me was the message on my phone. 

She texted me, God, just one text, 'I believed in you.'/ He was whispering now. 

/And after everything she had said, that killed me. Because she could yell at me all she wanted, march in front of me, barking at me like a Sergeant but Eren, I broke her heart with what I did. I broke her trust, her faith, everything. I called her back and I was sobbing my fucking brains out, it was a mess.

After that, I really got my shit together. I only relapsed once after that, but it was so hard. Of course, I had Isabelle and Farlan, and even my parents. By the end of senior year, I was drug free and almost at a passing GPA. I had to work my ass off to pass, and it wasn't fun. I really wouldn't have done it without my sister./ 

Even after all this information, Eren couldn't imagine what Levi had gone through. It sounded terrifying. 

"I'm so glad you made it, Levi," he whispered. He really was. He was glad he met him, glad he had the opportunity to know him, touch him, share these nights with him. He wouldn't trade it for anything, and he was grateful drugs didn't take that away from him. 

Levi’s ‘feelings’ moment was over. /Tch. Well, kid, I hope you got something out of that./ 

Oh, right. The actual point of him telling him that was to persuade him to do his assignment. 

He groaned. But imagining the disappointment Levi would feel, he picked up his pen and pulled his chair back to his desk. 

"Number three," he grumbled. 

/You can do it, kid./ 

Eren almost missed it, but he would swear he almost detected something a little similar to the affection he had felt earlier. Affection? For Eren? Of course not. Impossible. Unthinkable.

\-----

The intruding sound of his phone vibrating on the wooden desktop awoke Eren from his accidental nap. He blinked, confused as to why his room was suddenly dark. He picked up his phone and answered without reading who it was. 

"'Ullo?" 

"Eren! Eren, that movie you were talking about. It starts in ten minutes- I’m on way you better be ready- Oh, bring some money I’m a few bucks short- Jean’s coming-’ Eren snorted, got up, and started to throw some clothes on. Checking his clock, he was surprised to see it was 9:20. He had slept a few hours but luckily, thanks to Levi, he had gotten his work done. He heard a car horn blare as he was pulling on his sock.

“Armin,” he laughed to the still gonna call. “The commercials are twenty minutes, please, relax.” He heard Mikasa call from the kitchen. 

“Eren! Shut him up, he’ll wake up the neighbors.” 

“Right, sor- oof!” In his hurry, he slammed into his dresser. There was going to be a good bruise on his hip in the future.

He hooked his shoes on his fingers and ran out the door, jogging across the walk in his socks. He slipped in the back, as Jean was already in the passengers. As they pulled away, Jean twisted around to greet him.

Levi snorted. /Kid looks like a horse./

Eren laughed out loud, which pleased Jean because whatever he had said was apparently funny. He laughed with him, and turned back around to fix his hair. He smiled to himself, mentally agreeing. 

Finally in the theater, with five minutes to spare, they settled in one of the back rows. It was already dark, and Eren felt bits of popcorn crunch under his shoes as they blindly made their way toward their seats. Armin brushed off his and Armin’s chairs before plopping down. He then raised the armrest between him and Armin to pull him against his side and propped his feet up on the empty seat in front of him. Armin looked around nervously to make sure the crowd wasn’t too uncomfortable with this public display of affection, and Jean leaned down to whisper a little reassurance. Eren rolled his eyes at the two.

As soon as the movie started, Levi had a lot to say about it.

/That man looks like he needs to shit./

/His suit looks makes him look like ass./

/She looks like ass too. Not her actual ass, if you’d count that as a behind./

/Was that an explosion or did someone shit? Can’t tell, these graphics just suck./

Eren heard more of Levi than the movie. 

When the credits started rolling, they remained in their seats, munching on the last bits of popcorn and crunching the ice in their sodas. Jean was trying to convince Armin the futuristic technology in the movie was totally possible, while Armin felt different. 

"If they can make rockets go, I'm sure a hover surfboard thing is totally possible."

"Jean a rocket has an engine bigger than your car," Armin scoffed. "Besides, do you know how much fuel a rocket takes just to launch off?" 

Eren leaned toward them. "Do /not/ get him started on rockets, Jean," he interrupted. "We'll be here for hours." 

He stood up to stretch, and beckoned them out. As they walked out, he thought how entertaining Levi had been the whole movie. It was worth missing the plot line. Eren smiled to himself. 

/What?/ He heard his scowl. 

/You're cute./ He blushed. He didn't mean to say that. He felt Levi flood with embarrassment. 

/Don't call me that. I am a grown man./ 

/Yeah, but you're about as bashful as a teenage boy sometimes./

/Says the teenage boy./

"Exactly."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but I ship Hanji and Erwin.

/Levi's POV/

He groaned and rubbed his temples as he heard the screeching voice of Hanji. 

"Le-e-evi, long time no see!" She poked her head above the plastic cubicle wall... Right beside the opening. Her eyes were six times the normal size under her thick glasses, and her hair was thrown up in a ridiculous sort of nest. What was wrong with this woman? He prayed to have his own private office someday, with walls that reach the ceiling and a functional locking door. 

He continued to type at his computer, calming himself with the rhythmic clack-clacking of his keys. 

"You saw me yesterday."

She swung herself to pose in the opening, grinning like he was the sweetest treat in the office. His calm composure was dwindling.

"Yes, but I saw you yesterday /morning,/ and now it's today evening! So it's been more than a day, and that's far too long to not get a glimpse of your delicious face." 

She wore her usual office outfit. While other women had to dress for the job, wearing those God-awful pencil skirts and high heels, she had enough respect in the office that she didn't bother. She wore her washed out jeans, Vans shoes, and one of her many science T-shirts. Today, the abbreviations for a few of the elements of the periodic table were splayed across her chest, to spell out 'Nerd.' 

She pulled out the extra chair uninvited, and sat herself down in it. He didn't look up at her, but after a few agonizing minutes of being stared at, he sneered at her. 

"Do you need something? Because I'd rather you take a damn picture than just sit here gawking." She smiled even wider. He hoped someday she'd smile so wide, her face would just rip in half, and they'd have to sew her mouth shut. The thought of her actually being silent gave him a warm feeling.

"Well, our Christmas vacation is in two days!" 

"You didn't come here to remind me of the obvious."

She bopped him on the nose with her finger. 

"Correct, I came to tell you how you're going to spend it." He slammed his hands down on the keyboard in surprise. 

"Oh, fuck no. No. Absolutely not. This is my time away from you, not with you."

"Levi, hear me out-"

"Shitty glasses, I've heard enough. I'm not going anywhere with you-"

"You don't even know where it's gonna be-"

"Anywhere with you is fucking Hell."

"Le-e-evi," her eyes were even bigger. It was slightly unnerving under her goggles. 

He would have won the argument if Captain fucking America hadn't interrupted. 

"Would you really deny a two week trip to the forests of Washington?"

He looked up at Erwin, smirking in his stupid white button up and blue tie that matched his eyes. As painfully annoying as he could be, Levi had to admit he was attractive. The way that linen shirt hugged his build was absolutely inviting to be touched. Not that Levi hadn't had his share of the man. A couple of blurry nights one weekend they went a little- a lot -overboard with the shots and one thing led to another. Levi had done some things that they never let him live down. He felt nauseous just thinking of it...

Wait, a vacation where? 

"Come again?" Erwin smiled. 

"There's a town in Washington where my parents live. The place is gorgeous, so I thought we'd take my RV and camp there for a couple weeks. Well," he noticed Levi's immediate disgust at the word 'camp.' "It won't really be camping. We'll be in the town. The only reason we're taking the RV is because there isn't even a hotel there." He flashed his most charming smile. "I'll have it deep cleaned three times before we leave. It'll be enjoyable." 

Levi had been camping a few times when he was much younger. To be honest, he actually did enjoy it. He didn't /ask/ for his intolerance of grime. This was why he preferred the city. Everything was concrete and tile. There weren't any birds to shit on his car, no bugs to fly up his nose, no rain to melt him down. If he tried hard enough to ignore the dirt, bugs, and other environmental issues, he usually had a good enough time. 

But that was with his parents and siblings, not with a screechy banshee and the King of the World. 

Hanji remained silent through this train of thought, but the look on her face said it all. God, he could probably ask for her firstborn child in exchange for humoring them on this trip and she would comply. He turned back to his work. 

"Let me think about it."

Hanji practically screamed and clapped her hands. She jumped up to give Erwin a kiss on the cheek before slipping back to her work space. Levi raised his eyebrow at him. 

"When did this start happening?"

Erwin beamed. "Just a couple weeks ago. She showed up at my door selling pastries for a fundraiser, so I invited her in and..." He sighed. "Yep."

"Tch. Really makes my heart ache." He suddenly stopped typing, already knowing the answer before he asked. "How many did you buy?"

There was a wistful look in his eye as he replied,

"All of them."

"For fucks sake, Erwin." 

His laugh barked out to the office, so deep and resonating it made several of the surrounding women blush. Pathetic. 

Hanji appeared out of nowhere, peeking above the wall of the cubicle behind him. She blinked lovingly- sickeningly -at Erwin.

"It was amazing, we completely exceeded the original goal of the fundraiser, all because of him!" 

They gawked at each other over the cubicle with lovey-dovey eyes until Levi was sure he was going to throw up. 

"If you guys are going to continue to have eye sex, please take it in some other cubicle."

They laughed at him. 

"Made up your mind yet?" Hanji piped, peering down at him. 

 

He began to say no, but stopped himself. He really did like camping, and especially if there was an RV... What was there to lose?

He smirked. "Let's make a deal." 

They were wrapped around his finger at that. 

"You sick shits keep yourselves to a minimum around me, and I'll go."

Hanji squealed. 

"-Also shut the /fuck up/ holy fucking sh-"

He was cut off with a massive smack on the back by a man four times his size. He glared up at his blinding grin. 

"Don't worry, we'll make it fun."

"Tch." He straightened his grey suit and turned to the computer. "Fun isn't in my vocabulary."

"But you just used it," Hanji giggled. 

"/Out./" 

"We leave the moment after work ends tomorrow,” Erwin smiled. He followed Hanji out of his cubicle. She turned around and raised her hand to get his attention, as if she wasn’t already the loudest fucking thing in the building.

“Remember to dress comfortably, it’s a fourteen hour drive!”

His fingers halted once again. Was this a death trap?

She cackled, walking away as he tried to think of a way to get out of this. This was going to be the longest drive in his sad life.

\-----

Eren dragged Mikasa by the arm through the Main Street on the first day of Christmas break. Christmas was his absolute favorite time of year in this town. 

Every year, the town turned into a Christmas wonderland. Not a house got away without some sort of decoration. The streetlights were adorned with electric snowflakes, and massive red ribbons crisscrossed between them across the street. There were random Christmas trees at the end of most streets, open for decoration, and all the real trees were strung with different colored lights. It seemed that no matter where you were, there was a radio playing some carol, and someone singing along. The atmosphere was always warm and cheerful, and Eren couldn't get enough of it. 

Mikasa was carrying a small purse stuffed with cash. They were going gift shopping for their dad, Armin, and Annie. Also each other. They tried to make it secret, but they always made some poor bathroom excuse and snuck off to buy the other something. This year, Eren knew exactly what he was getting her. He'd seen the necklace in the shop window, and he'd been saving his monthly allowance from dad for months. He would battle the whole shop to the death to get a hold of it. 

"Who are we looking for first?" Eren stopped them in front of a pastry shop. The wooden store was seeping with the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls and apple cider. He promised his stomach they'd stop there later. 

"We can look for dad, and keep an eye out for the blondes." She adjusted her red scarf around her neck. It wasn't freezing, but it was almost uncomfortably cold. The weather promised a snowfall soon. "Do you know what you're getting Armin?"

He pointed towards the bookstore, a few buildings down. 

"If I don't buy him the logic puzzle book he's been drooling over for the past three months, he'll have a meltdown." 

Mikasa smiled. "What a dork. I might need a bit of help with Annie. She's hard to shop for."

"What does she like?" Besides fighting and sleeping, he thought. 

She thought for a moment. "She likes horror movies."

"Of course."

"Also some classics."

/What does she define as classics?/ Levi joined in. 

"Classics?" 

Mikasa nodded. "Audrey Hepburn is her favorite."

/She's good, that's good./ Levi approved. 

"Has she seen all of those?" It would be pointless to buy her movies she already has. 

"Yeah, but she has her own line of fashion. I could get her a dress or something..."

"Does she even wear dresses?" Eren couldn't imagine Annie in a skirt. He imagined her as more of a tie person.

"Yeah, she has nice legs." Mikasa blushed. "She's been kickboxing with her dad for years." 

/Those are hard to come by,/ Levi was thinking about the dress. /You'd have to order online./ 

"Oh, yeah, that's true," he agreed. She eyed him curiously. 

"You've seen her legs?"

"No! I mean, I was talking about... Uh, you'd have to order the dress online. There isn't even a dress store here." Smooth, Eren Jaeger. 

"Oh, I see." She looked around at the stores. "Let's be off now, we don't have all day. Maybe I can find something else to go with a dress."

"Alright," he pointed to a thrift store. "Maybe we can find something fun in there for dad before hitting the bookstore."

She snorted. "Everything is used and gross in there."

He linked their arms together and started walking, "You never know. Maybe we'll find something good."

"Yeah, maybe," she rolled her eyes. “Or maybe we’ll catch one of the hundred diseases carried by all the old clothes and unsanitized child toys.

/Smart girl,/ Levi chuckled.

/Why don’t you two just get together and have a cleaning fest,/ Eren teased. /It’ll be good bonding time./ They approached the store, and Eren pulled the door open for his sister out of kind habit. The little bell rang as they stepped inside.

/That sounds nice. I’d get a chance to talk to a real adult for a change, instead of a four year old./

“Eren,” Mikasa touched his cheek. “Why are you so red?”

/Yeah, Eren,/ the man cooed. /Don’t get your diapers in a twist./

Eren walked past her, ignoring him. “Let’s look around.” Minutes later, he held up an almost-new, bright red T-shirt that displayed a couple Cat Woman comic panels. “You think he’d wear this?”

Mikasa smirked and draped it over the shopping basket they kept by the door. 

“Good find. You couldn't pull him out of that.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's curious, my tumblr is the same as my AO3 username- kitteneaterbabybeater.

After four hours of shopping, they finally met back up at the pastry shop. They bought the shirt at the thrift store Eren had found, along with a giant coffee mug with another DC character on the front- Aquaman - and stuffed it with his favorite Garadelli chocolates. He was a fanatic when it came to these comics, and cherished anything he could find related. They would ship it to him without telling him, to make it more of a surprise. 

The book that Armin had wanted was luckily on sale. Eren grumbled at it being thicker than his textbooks, but he was just glad that it was something Armin had really wanted. He knew he'd be the guinea pig for all of these logic puzzles, though. He wasn't looking forward to the headaches. 

Mikasa had saved most of her money for the dress they would shop online for, but couldn't resist picking up an intricately woven flower crown. It was nicer than the ones you usually see, but Eren still would bet his money that she wouldn't wear it. When he voiced this, Mikasa didn't crack as she promised, "I'll make her."

While she had been buying the crown, he swiped the necklace off of its stand and had it bought and wrapped. It was simple, but still a gorgeous piece. The chain was just short enough that it would rest right below her collarbones. It was adorned with little, deep red crystal flowers, and delicate silver leaves. He thought she should have something besides the scarf to decorate her neck, and he knew it would look lovely on her. 

/You have good taste, Eren,/ Levi commented. He smiled. 

They sat across from each other in the pastry shop, waiting for their order of the cinnamon rolls and cider he'd smelled. Once they had it, they enjoyed them in a comfortable silence. 

The shop itself was very cozy. The light wooden floor was freshly cleaned, smelling of a lemon pine cleaner. The other tables were just as scrubbed, reflecting the colored lights strung on the ceiling. The radio played some random old band, and it made some nice background noise. 

"Eren, you're practically an adult and you still don't wipe your mouth," she raised a napkin to his face, and he jerked away. 

"Yeah, well," he grabbed it out of her hand and wiped his lips. "With you always doing it for me, it's hard to remember."

She swatted him with the napkin, and they laughed.

"Alright, I'm finished," she stood up, and he followed. 

They waved to the owner, a cute little man who ran the whole shop by himself, and left. 

\-----

/Levi's POV/ 

As he was folding his last shirt and tucking it into the neatly packed suitcase, his phone rang for the fourth time that morning. 

He cursed, and finally picked it up. 

"What?" 

Hanji was unfazed by his greeting. 

"Just wanted to remind you were leaving today! We just stopped for gas, we'll be at your apartment in about six minutes-"

"Make it ten," Erwin piped up in the background. 

"Ten," Hanji repeated. 

Levi zipped up his case and sat down on the bed. "You've only reminded me fifty times a day."

She giggled. "Just making sure you can't back out on us last minute." He heard the engine start up in the background. "Alright, Levi, we'll be there soon, I'm so excited! See you~" She sang. 

Oh God, if she sang that whole car ride, he might shoot himself. He shuddered at the thought. 

"Yeah, yeah, can't wait," he hung up and started putting his shoes on. 

/It won't be too bad,/ Eren tried to comfort him. /But make sure you bring Advil./ 

Levi chuckled. "Thanks, kid." 

\----- 

One hour in the truck, and Levi was searching for more than Advil. 

For some unholy reason, Hanji had brought her old Taylor Swift CD's and was singing along louder than he could think. And she was sitting in the middle. Right beside him. 

"/And he said, marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone!

I love you and, that's all I really know! 

I talked to your dad go pick out a white dress, 

It's a love story baby just say yes! 

Oh-oh-o-o-oh!/" 

Levi brought his forehead down to his hands. 

"I want to go home," he muttered. Erwin laughed. 

"Hang in there, just fourteen more hours to go."

"Thanks," he growled. 

At least he was comfortable. He was wearing slightly over-sized black sweatpants and a matching black sweatshirt. He was grateful that the sleeves didn't do the dorky thing by going over his fingers, making him look even smaller. His shoes were kicked over under his seat, so he wore only grey socks. He wasn't the only one wearing pajamas. Hanji looked frightening in violently pink Hello Kitty pajama pants and yet another science shirt- this one with a cartoon of an overflowing flask -and even Erwin had a pair of Nike sweats and a loose fitting T-shirt. They had all agreed that if they were going to be in a car for 12 hours, they didn't need to look good. 

He tried to distract himself with Eren's thoughts. He heard him talking to Mikasa and almost smiled. He was a kind brother to her. He always treated her with love and respect, and he admired that.

/I try,/ Eren had heard him. /She went through a lot as a child. These guys broke into her house and completely mutilated her parents, and they almost killed her too. I happened to be near the house at the time with my dad, and after a lot of junk, we ended up adopting her./ 

/Junk is a good adjective for that situation,/ Levi teased. 

/Yeah, well, it all sucked. That scarf she wears? It was real shitty out that day, and I couldn't go near her without her flinching, so I wrapped this scarf around her, and now she's hardly ever without it./ He felt Eren's heart ache with love for his sister. God, this was getting sappy. As much as he loved Eren, he couldn't handle all this-

Wait. Did he just think that? 

Hanji snapped him out of it with a poke on the cheek. 

"Why so cherry, little guy?" She wiggled her eyebrows. 

He swatted her away and glared out the window, but she was relentless. 

"Aw, c'mon. Give us /some/thing, you've been in a blushing daze for weeks."

Erwin chuckled. "You really have had us worried. It's almost like..." He paused for effect, and Hanji joined in to sickly chorus, 

"You're in love~!" 

He buried his face in his sweatshirt as they burst into snickers. They were /not/ helping. 

Him? In love? He didn't know if he knew how to love. 

He thought of his brother and sister. He loved them, didn't he? But Eren... 

The thought of Eren made his stomach twist, and his heart pound. He thought of the night where he had held him, and how relaxed he had felt. He pictured his smiling face, his bright teeth and tan skin... Was this love? 

His insides felt like they were doing ballet again. If this was love, why was it so fucking uncomfortable?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much in this chapter, but don't worry, the next one will make up for it.

The RV pulled to a stop at 3:12 A.M for the last break. A neon light indicated the mostly empty gas station was open. Levi cracked his eyes open, wary of the bright lights that lit up the parking lot. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Hanji had conked out on Erwin, somehow flexible enough to have her head on his lap while staying buckled. He was just glad she wasn't snoring. Erwin eased her off of his lap and pushed the door open to step out. He cracked his joints and shook his legs; he had been driving the whole time, mercifully not pointing out that Levi couldn't reach the gas pedal. 

When Levi made no move to get out, Erwin poked his head in and nudged him. 

"You haven't gotten out for eight hours. How do you do it?"

He smirked. "Easy. Work in an office." Erwin laughed and retreated to fill the tank. 

He sighed. If this was their last stop, he might as well get out while he can. He shoved the door open with a grunt- why the fuck did it weigh more than him? -and jumped out. When his legs collided with the asphalt, it turned out they weren't even working correctly, and he had to cling to the door to keep from collapsing to the ground. He held on until he felt them waking up, and started stretching out his limbs. 

Fuck, it was cold. The chill bit his cheeks and fingers, stinging the needles poking in his legs. The lot was almost empty, save for three vehicles parked up front. Probably just stopping for a piss...

Speaking of. Suddenly his bladder decided it needed immediate attention. He reached back in to grab his shoes, and was faced with a sleepy Hanji. Her usual bun had gotten scuffed up, and bits of hair stuck out in all directions. Her eyes had reduced to a normal size, now that she wasn't ogling at him, and there was a faint red spot where she had rested on Erwin. 

If there was one time he liked making conversation with this woman, it was the beautiful moments when she was only half awake. It was the only time she was relaxed, calm, and tolerable. 

She sleepily hummed a greeting, blinking her eyes and unbuckling herself. 

"How," she yawned gently. "How close are we?" 

Erwin stuck his large head in the door and pulled her for a kiss on the cheek. 

"Three more hours, love." She grinned at him. Their eyes sparkled as they gazed at each other. It reminded him of the light in Eren's eyes, the way they shone at him when he laughed...

Woah, Levi. Relax.

Levi cleared his throat. 

"I gotta piss," he interrupted their happy-cuddle time. Hanji fumbled over to the door. 

"I'll go too, the three bottles of water have made their journey." Gross. Levi waited for her to slide out and stretch. 

"You can down twelve beers in an hour but you can't hold your water?" He smirked at her. She twirled her hands together and smiled shyly. 

"Hnn, whatever." 

Did he mention how fucking great she was to talk to when she was sleepy? Short, simple, and easy to deal with. 

They lethargically made their way over to the station. He held the door open for her to walk through- in her socks. Disgusting. 

The store was even brighter than the lot, dressed with those fluorescent lights that were so fucking bright they made you tired. There were two young men sitting at a coffee table, bent over a road map. They shared an extra large coffee between them as they talked. Levi cringed. 

The only other customer was a much older man, taking his sweet ass time in front of the alcohol freezer. His beard was tangled and dirty, and Levi imagined if he were to speak to him he'd spit while he talked. Just choose your beer and get out, damn it. 

Hanji padded off to the toilets, and he followed after her. The bathrooms were actually showers for truckers to reserve, and at this time of night they were mostly empty. The hallway was dimly lit, and the bathroom doors were weirdly close together. He thought wildly of gas chambers.

/Did you say shower?/ Eren joked. /We thought you meant immediate death. Our mistake./ 

/What are you doing up past your bedtime, kid?/

Levi could hear the pout on his face. /First of all, I’m practically an adult-/

/Practically, key word there./

/Second, I just woke up with all your grumbling./

/Tch./ Levi pulled his sleeve over his hand for sanitary measures, and pulled open the door. As he took in the sight of the bathroom, he blanched.

What the ever living /fuck/ were they using to clean? It smelled like someone took a shit and smeared it on the counter. The floor was littered with discarded toilet paper and used paper towels, and there was more soap in the sink then there was in the dispenser. On the mirror in nearly unintelligible writing was a phone number and a promise to lighten up a lonely night.’ He shuddered. He considered not going at all but fuck, he needed to piss. 

He tried to encourage himself as he stepped up to the urinal; Just go, just go, just get it over with, don’t look, don’t smell, don’t touch, just do it. As soon as he was done, he used paper towel to glove his hand to flush, and to turn on the sink. He skipped the soap- was that even soap? -and toweled off his hands. He used even more towel to open the door and scurried out. When he got back into the store, Hanji was waiting for him, holding an armful of junk food. She had three bags of Reese's minis and five Rockstar energy drinks. He was disappointed to see her sleepy composure wouldn't last.

“If we’re gonna be driving three more hours,” she shrugged. “I guess it’s time to wake up.” 

The front door made an electronic bell sound as Erwin entered. He strode to them with his thumbs in his sweatpants pockets, classy as if he were wearing his usual suit instead of pajamas. The eyes of the young cashier didn't leave him until he sneaked an arm around Hanji’s waist, and she shamefully fumbled with the register. 

“You two all ready to go?” He grinned. Hanji indicated the junk in her arms.

“I’ll just load this up and we’ll be-” He swiped it all from her arms and bolted to the counter before she could protest. 

“I’ll pay.” She gave in quietly, frowning. 

“O-Okay.”

Back in the car again, they buckled themselves back up and got situated. 

“Why did you get five energy drinks?” Erwin noticed. Hanji smiled mischievously. 

“One for you, one for princess over here, and three for me. But I’ll share,” she winked.

“I think I’ll walk the rest of the way” Levi sighed. They laughed at him, and they were off. 

/Was she on caffeine in the beginning?/ Eren inquired. 

/No, that’s her usual./

/Oh, God./

She cracked open her first one, took a dainty sip, and drank the entire can in one breath.

“Woo!” She laughed. “I’m feeling good already! What’s on the radio at this time of day?” Glancing over at Erwin, Levi saw he almost looked uncomfortable. When he voiced this, he laughed.

“There’s only so much room in here for so much energy. You might want to slow down on the drinks, Hanji.” She had her finger on the tab of her second can. 

“Your heart’s going to stop,” Levi smirked. “You’ll overdose on caffeine and we’ll be stuck with your sad body.”

/I doubt you could even carry her,/ Rude, Eren. Eren immediately tried to cover himself.

/I-I didn't mean to say- That wasn't supposed to- Wow, I mean-/

Levi imagined his thick blush and smirked. This kid couldn't control his thoughts at all. Sure, Levi let a couple things slide now and then, but Eren’s brain was always running. Hearing his thoughts was like standing in the middle of twelve way intersection during rush hour. Except nobody stopped. 

“Aw,” she whined. “You guys are just grumps. Drink your own, lighten up a bit.” She shoved one in his lap. He hadn't had one of these since he was ten. He never drank coffee, even. Always tea. Could his body even handle this much caffeine? Well, he guessed there wasn't anything to lose. He popped open the tab. The smell of the drink fizzed out. It was kind of nice, actually. He took a sip.

Fuck, it burned a bit. What was in this? He took another cautious sip. Hanji raised her can. 

“Betcha I can drink mine faster.”

“...Go.”

If he thought it burned a bit, it seared as it went down. It wasn't as bad as some alcohols he’d had, but it was still ridiculous. He almost gave up just from the burn. He slammed it down on the armrest seconds before her. She giggled. 

“I just wanted to make you drink it. I can’t wait to see how you’ll react to it.” He scowled.

\-----

/Levi, just breathe./

/I can’t, I’m going to die./

/It’ll wear off-/

/I think I can hear my heart, Eren./

Twenty minutes later, Hanji grinned at him gleefully as he shook and shuddered. His heart was beating rapidly at him, and he could literally feel the blood rush through his body. His back, chest, and legs were soaked in sweat. This time, /his/ thoughts were out of control, raging through to from one to another. 

/What was in that drink?/ He hissed. Erwin was just barely sipping at his. He wasn’t even halfway done with it. Hanji was also taking her time on her third one, but she was wide awake. 

“A sweet treat called caffeine, my dear,” she giggled harder. He was going to punch her, he swore. Maybe boot her ass out of the car, while he was at it. He tugged his sweatshirt off and threw it at his feet. /Much/ better. He turned the hand crank to open the window, and relished the cold air that rushed in. Hanji shrieked at him. 

“That’s cold, put it back up! Not fair!” She launched over his lap to turn it back. 

“Hanji! Fuck, move! You’re gon-” Her elbow struck a particularly sensitive spot. “ /Shit!/ Ah, shit, you fuck.” Satisfied with the window, she leaned back up. Erwin was laughing, running his hand through his hair. When she saw Levi curled in his own lap to comfort himself, she laughed out loud. She laughed and laughed until tears came to her eyes, while Levi’s watered for opposite reasons. He even heard Eren laughing, a distant chuckle in his head.

“Fuck you all,” he gasped at the three of them.

“Sorry, Levi,” they all chorused. 

\-----

They pulled into a driveway just before the sun came out. Erwin turned down the stereo- on its fourth run of the same God damn Taylor Swift CD -and took out his phone. Hanji gathered her trash as it rang. 

"Hello," an older woman picked up. She sounded tired, but sweet. He had probably woken her up. 

"Hello, mother dear," Erwin crooned. "We're here." She gasped on the other end. 

"How exciting, you're just in time! I was just about to wake up anyhow. Come inside, you must be starving." Hanji's eyes widened in excitement. 

"You bet I am! Can't wait to meet you!" Erwin smiled at her. 

"Better fix ourselves up first, then we'll be right in." They said their goodbyes as if they weren't twenty yards away, and hung up. Levi decided to get a change of clothes, and left the two lovebirds to talk. He jumped out of the truck and breathed in the sweet morning air. It was awfully cold out, and the trees that towered over were bare in a eerily pretty way. The trees in the city were hardly bigger than him but here, they fucking soared. The grass crunched under his feet, and frost lined the ground. The road went off for longer than he could see in both directions, and Erwin's parents were neighbor to only one other house which he could faintly see to his left. 

He tilted his head back and breathed deeply. The air was so clean, like breathing in water. Without the drowning bit. He relaxed, and closed his eyes. 

/I think,/ he said to Eren, /This might actually be enjoyable./

/That's called 'fun,'/ he teased. 

Levi rolled his eyes. What a brat.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to do some- yuck -geography research for this one but worth it

Eren woke up exhausted the next day. Afternoon sun blared through his blinds, reflecting off every damn shiny thing in the room. Squinting at his digital clock, he saw it was already two in the afternoon. Well, he might as well get up... At some point. 

He sunk back into his pillows and closed his eyes to adjust. He loved being able to sleep in. He loved the lazy feeling of being able to fully wake up and just relax. His room was chilly- as always -but the thick blankets trapped him in his body heat. It was blissful. He distantly heard Levi bickering to someone in the back of his mind. From the waves of emotion seething from him, he was pissed. 

/I just need to breathe for a bit. I can't even go far./

Who was the other guy again? Edward?

/Hanji will chase after you,/ the voice boomed. While Levi's voice was deep, the blonde's voice resonated like a bass instrument. 

Levi scoffed. /Keep her busy. I'll be back later./

Ernie?

/Make sure you're back in time for dinner,/ the other man joked. 

/Erwin, kid./ Ah. 

"Morning, sunshine," he mimicked his surly tone. Eren snuggled deeper in his blankets. Getting up at the moment was a forgotten thought. “What’re you doing today?”

/Getting as far away from these freaks as possible./ Eren laughed.

/You don’t get it,/ he growled. /Goggles woke me up an hour ago after breakfast splashing fucking water on my face, like some damned beauty commercial, screeching about the beautiful day and all that junk./ Eren snorted into his pillow. /So I jumped up, I yelled, ‘What the hell?’ and then Erwin went off about the water on his sweats, and I knew if I didn’t get out of there fast I was going to commit some homicide./

He covered his face with his comforter to muffle his laughter. The malice in his voice was unbearably comical.

“Homicidal midget, cute.”

/I’m not- You stupid- Fucking cute- Shitty brat, shut-/

“Did you just call /me/ cute?” He teased. Levi’s train of thought slammed against a wall as he struggled to hide himself.

/Cute as my fucking asshole, kid./

“Mm, but you’re into those, you old pervert.”

/Oh, you caught me,/ Levi’s voice dropped to a low growl and Eren felt a warmth spread through his whole body; from a certain area, from embarrassment, from shame. /And it seems I’m not the only one into dicks./

He thrashed around in his blankets, trying to distract his body. “Shut up, geezer. This is /so/ illegal.” Okay, that was about as effective as throwing a bullet from your fingers. But thinking of old perverts in prison with sagging parts and wrinkled bodies was helping. 

/We all have our kinks,/ Levi was toying with Eren’s internal conflicts and he was having the time of his life doing it.

Eren thought of a picture post he had seen on the internet one time, and before he knew it, he replied,

/Mine just happens to be you./

Levi chuckled, and it grew into almost a laugh.

/Cute, kid. I’ll give you that one./ Great. 

After a while of silence, Eren relaxed his body to lose himself in Levi’s senses. If he tried, he could hear all Levi heard, feel what Levi felt, and could even see a good deal of what he saw. He still thought it unfair that Levi had already mastered all this and refused to teach him, but he couldn’t stop him from learning himself, so that’s what he did.

Technically in Levi’s body, he felt the chill seeping in through his long coat. He smelled a rich apple cider and… Cinnamon rolls? Eren’s stomach roared at the thought. Levi felt hungry, too, and made a turn into the source of the smell. 

Eren caught a glimpse of an eerily similar wooden floor. He heard a bell tinkle as Levi walked in. The lights above him cast a pretty reflection off of the tables…

“Levi, where-”

/Hello!/ The owner of the pastry store piped up. Eren’s thoughts were flying so fast, they made Levi dizzy. Was it possible? Was he actually...? 

Where did they say they were going that day? 'The forests of Washington?' Of course. 

Of all places they could have dropped. 

Oakville. 

Eren's town. 

/Kid, what are you going on about?/

Eren flung out of bed to pull his pants on. He yanked his jeans over his legs.

“My state- My town- You’re here-”

He grabbed a random shirt from his floor and wrangled it on.

“The store- The road- How could I be so slow!”

Levi caught on with a small gasp. He gave the shop owner an apologetic excuse and whirled around. He started casually down the sidewalk, toward where he knew Eren would be.

Eren slammed his feet in his old Nike shoes and ran to the stairs, anything /but/ casually. He didn’t bother to grab his keys as he tripped down and out the door. He leaped off of the walk to the street, and he heard Mikasa call behind him, “Eren, you left the damned door open!” But he didn’t stop. He flew down the road, sprinting like he never had. His throat and nose stung, the sharp cold cutting down. His arms and legs flung wildly in a desperate run. The jacket he didn’t remember pulling on was hanging off one shoulder. He fumbled to pull it over the other, bumping along. He jumped over various rocks, mounds of dirt, holes. He ran, and ran.

When he hit the main road, he soared over the curb, and stopped. 

His breath caught uncomfortably, and his heart skipped a few beats. He clutched his chest, gasping and choking, but staring. 

In his dreams, he had worked so hard on the scenery. He remembered every little detail of the trees around them, of the grass and the sky and the air and the road. He made such an effort around him that he had clearly skipped over the centerpiece of the picture. 

He stared at the man, dressed in a long black overcoat, black jeans, black dress shoes. Black hair, stark white skin. 

Striking cheekbones to frame his angular face. 

Scorching blue eyes to burn. 

An intimidating stance to put a king on his knees. 

He had obviously underestimated his appearance in his creations, and Eren stared. 

And he stared back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it's short I know sorry sorry... Kind of.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter I've written, but I just didn't want to stop. I love writing this~  
> (Well it's probably 80% dialogue... But whatever.)

Neither of the men moved. Well, except for Eren's ridiculous gasping and heaving, that is. Levi gazed at him with a blank expression, taking him in like he was a painting at an art show. Like he was deciding whether to waste his money on him or not. The wind howled around them, scattering a few leaves. 

Eren was baffled at the man's silence. 

Was he disappointed? 

It then occurred to him he had never seen /himself/ in the dreams. What if he had /over/ estimated himself? Was that possible?

He suddenly felt very self conscious. What was he thinking? He should have at least checked to see what he looked like. Was Levi angry? Had he not expected a scruffy 17 year old? Maybe his own conscious had made Eren to be Levi's definition of attractive, and now he was forced to face the real Eren...

He stood up straight, but his face tilted toward the sidewalk in shame. 

"I-I don't know what you expected... I didn't think... I mean-"

Levi crossed his arms over his chest, silencing Eren. His eyebrows ticked up slightly, his lips parted, and,

"Your shirt's on inside out."

What? 

"What?" He didn't comprehend. That's it? No, 'Who the hell are you?' Or even worse, 'What the hell are you?' Levi twitched a finger toward him. 

"Your shirt. It's inside out. I can see your deodorant stains." 

He looked down and- gross. He was right. He turned away from Levi, slipped his jacket that he had worked so furiously to put on off, and made to fix his shirt. When he was done, he hastily put his jacket back on and turned around. 

"So?" 

What would they do? Would they talk? Was it going to be different between them? 

Levi sighed. He sounded annoyed. What did Eren do /this/ time?

"It's backwards now. Honestly, kid, how can you be an adult if you can't even dress yourself?" 

 

His lips sneaked into a wide grin. He sounded as he always did, and he didn't seek to be concerned the least about Eren's appearance. Well, besides his clothes, but that was normal. God, he was so relieved. 

He closed the few feet distance between them until he was just inches away. The fog of their breath mixed and plumed between them. He smelled of his usual cigarettes and cologne, musky and light and everything that made Eren want to breathe him in forever. 

Levi didn't react, just stood the way he was with his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. He had to tilt his head back a fraction to look Eren in the eyes. 

"What are you-" 

And the distance between them was closed. 

\-----  
/Levi's POV/

Levi wasn't a kisser.

Not that he didn't know how. He just wasn't a fan of it. 

Sex was easy. It was rough, it was quick, and required nothing. It was, 'That was cool, thanks, you're out the door by dawn.' He didn't kiss, he didn't cuddle, and that was the way he liked it. He didn't need to get attached. 

But when Eren kissed him; when his eyes fluttered closed and his face was being tilted by a large tanned hand, he wasn't exactly resisting. 

The first thing he thought of was he smelled fucking terrible. His two-in-the-afternoon-morning breath smelled like a dogs ass and he was sweating like a grown man lifting wood. 

He also noticed his shirt was still on backwards. He had deliberately ignored that. Brat. 

But what he lingered on was his lips, chapped but oh so soft, thin but full and warm and fucking tasty, as illegal as that sounded. If they hadn't of been standing in public he would have eaten him up right there. 

He snaked his hand around Eren's waist, pulling him against him in a direct way that made the boy gasp. He smiled against the kiss, and pulled away. He smirked at his fired face and the thoughts racing in his head. 

/Am I gay? What was that? Why did I do that? I'm gay. Am I? I like girls? I do. Do I? And men? Boys? Am I gay?/

"You're so gay." Eren turned brighter. 

"Shut up!" 

His arm was still wrapped around him, all the way around his waist. He felt his heart beating against his chest, and he hoped his own heart didn't reveal how nervous he actually felt. 

Eren pushed away from him with an indignant 'pff!' And tucked his arms in his sleeves to fix his shirt. Levi pulled out his phone to check his inbox. He had four texts from Hanji. 

'Did you run away? Come back! We miss you!'

'Don't be such a sour puss, it was just water.'

'We're going on a hike, hurry and come back before the day ends!'

'If you're that angry, you should come back so I can apologize. And so you can come on this hike. Where are you?' 

He turned on the speech to text her back. 

"Go without me. I found someone, and I'm busy." He hit send, a smirk on his face at Eren's shocked expression. 

"You didn't need to cancel your plans for me-"

He slipped his phone in his pocket and buried his hand in the back of Eren's hair. He pulled him in roughly for a kiss, ignoring his squeak. But he surprised him when it was soft and gentle, slow and not rough at all as he started out. When he pulled away, he would have bet money Eren was going to pass out of he kept this up. 

"Have you ever kissed a boy?"

He glanced at the clouds as if they were suddenly more interesting than anything. 

"Well I've... Kissed some girls a bit..." 

Levi mocked surprise. "Oh, when I was your age-"

"You're only 21 don't be so full of your-"

"When I was your age," he continued louder. "I messed around with all my buddies. They would always say, 'I'm not gay!' But-"

Eren groaned and covered his ears. "Stop, stop, stop, I do /not/ want to hear about this, change the subject!" Levi smiled at him, looking so uncomfortable and pouty. He would never get tired of pulling that look out of him. 

"Hey," Eren pulled out his own phone and started scrolling through something. "Since you aren't doing anything today, well, anymore; do you wanna... Maybe, hang out?"

Levi took out his phone and pretended to check it. 

"I'm booked for the next few weeks, maybe I can squeeze you in my schedule after New Years?" Eren groaned. 

"Don't be a dick. Come over to my house." 

"Well, well, Eren, I think you're rushing this relationship a bit. We might want to take things slower before we-"

"/Levi/ shut the hell up!" 

Grinning, Levi linked his hand in Eren's, and they started walking. 

"Sure, let's go to your house, kid. But don't make me play any board games."

\-----

/Eren's POV/

"What do you mean my movies suck? These are my favorites!" He waved 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' and 'Little Nemo' as he spoke. 

He sat at the foot of the entertainment center where their movies were, and Levi was draped over the couch. He had taken his trench coat off, so now he wore a navy blue crew neck with his black jeans. 

"One of them is a cartoon, first of all."

"But it's an /amazing/ movie, it gave me nightmares when I was a kid."

"A fucking fish family gave you nightmares?"

"No this isn't the one about the fish, here," he tossed it to his lap. He picked it up and glared at the summary on the back. "It's the better one." 

Levi 'Hm''d at it, and tossed it back. 

"Not interested." 

He whined. "Whatever. What about-" 

"No, no, no. Not Harry fucking potter. I read the books when I was twelve, and the movies all suck. They suck worse than anything and I'm not watching them again."

Eren slammed it on the ground. 

"What do you watch, then, grandpa?" 

"Do you kiss your granddad like that?" Levi smirked. 

"Shut up! That's gross!"

"You started it." He thought for a moment. "Have you seen Harold and Maude?"

He didn't need to answer. Hardly anybody has seen Harold and Maude. He pulled out his phone, where he uploaded all his movies. 

"Ah, kid, it's the best. Does your TV hook up to an aux cord?"

Eren jumped up to pull out a drawer. He knocked some things around and pulled out what he was looking for. 

"Here," he handed it to him. "But this better be good." 

Ten minutes later, Eren and Levi were crammed against one side of the old couch, eating pretzels and fruit snacks as Harold performed yet another suicide. Though he whined about it at first, he ended up wanting to watch it again. 

They watched movies till eleven o'clock that night. Somewhere in between, Levi had called Hanji to explain who he was with and why he was there, and she was ecstatic at the prospect of Levi 'making friends.' But at about midnight, when Eren was laying against his chest while they discussed the movies, he realized he hadn't seen Mikasa all day. 

He sat up and started to stretch. "I haven't seen my sister, I'm going to check on her. She always texts me when she's gone this long, so she might just be in her room."

As he walked off, he heard Levi begin to clean up a bit. He leaned toward her door, but heard nothing. He knocked gently. 

"Mikasa?" No answer. He knocked a bit harder, but turned the doorknob before he finished knocking. 

When he opened the door, she was laying on her bed, her back toward him. She had her arm draped over something- someone, it turned out, who also had their arm over her waist. She wore basketball shorts and a sports bra, and he could see marks on her back that looked suspiciously like- 

He shut the door and backed out as silently as if his life depended on it. 

Looks like they were both gay. He couldn't wait to break this to dad. 

When he got back to Levi, he was standing by the door with his coat and shoes on. Eren began to pout, but Levi silenced him with his finger. 

"I can't spend the night. Your sister would flip."

"/Her/ girlfriends spending the night!"

"Yes, but /she/ doesn't have uncontrollable little boy hormones."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't either. Besides, it looked like they already took care of their little boy hormones-"

Levi raised his hands. "I don't want to know, that's kind of weird." He ruffled Eren's hair, which looked kind of funny, since Eren was so much taller. "How about this. It's late. You sleep in, I'll be back tomorrow evening. Well watch some more movies, I'll even kiss you a bit." 

Eren grinned. "You say that as if it's my privilege. You get as much out of it as I do." 

"Hm, all I have to do it look at you and you get a hard on, kid." Eren made to push away with a, "Levi!" But he reached around to grab his waist and pull him against him. 

He shut him up with his lips, kissing him hard. He didn't resist, and kissed him back all the more eagerly. Levi ran his hand through his hair and to his neck, and with his other hand, reached up in his shirt to his waist. Eren gasped, partly from how cold his hands were and partly because of the fire they cause on his skin,, and Levi broke the kiss. He turned around and put his hand on the door. 

"Goodnight, Eren." He winked. 

"You're such a dick." But Eren reached over to open the door for him. When people usually did that for him, it was to make fun of him, and he got pissed. But Eren did it out of habit, and Levi seemed to appreciate it. He strode out of the door and down the sidewalk. Eren rushed out after him. 

"Wait!" Levi turned. "Let me give you a ride. It's dangerous to be out this late." 

Levi smirked. "No, it's not. I'm a grown man. And nobody does anything here. It's not dangerous at all." But still he waited on the sidewalk. Eren watched at the way the wind brushed his hair, and his bangs seemed to caress his face. It wasn't until Levi grunted that he realized he was staring, and he tripped over the doorway to go back and get his keys. He didn't bother putting shoes on when he came back out, and went to open the door for Levi. 

"Why do you always open doors?" The man asked as he climbed in. Eren's truck was a bit tall, and he tried not to mention how Levi had to struggle to get in. 

"My mom always taught me to help out," he closed the door, and walked around to his own. He continued as he got in. 

"She always told me stuff like, 'People think it's kind when you open doors,' or, 'It's nice to carry stuff for whoever you're with,' and stuff like that. I always kind of waved her off, but now," he laughed out loud. "It's not even like she's gone, really, the way all her rules still haunt me." 

Levi nodded as he talked, letting him smile in reminiscence. Eren missed his mom, but it didn't hurt anymore. It was okay. 

By now they had pulled up to Erwin's parents house where the trailer was parked. He turned the car off, and wrapped his arm around Levi's shoulders to pull him closer. He kissed him softly, slow and gentle, completely different from the way Levi had attacked him at the door. Levi was taken aback, and Eren took his opportunity to show Levi that yes, he /did/ know how to kiss, thank you very much. 

Suddenly, there was an abrupt slam on the window. The two jumped away from each other as if they had been caught by their mother stealing out of the candy jar. Whirling around, Eren was faced with a gleeful looking woman, rambling and pointing. She had large glasses, and her eyes were uncomfortably large. Eren reached into the pocket of his door for his knife, but Levi stopped him. 

"Hanji, seriously, what the hell?" 

Oh, her. Right. He rolled down the window to hear what she was saying. 

"Who /is/ this cutie! I knew it! I knew there was someone you liked! Perfect! Let's take him home, there's an extra bed I'm sure-"

"Hanji, no, he has his own home to go to."

She leaned inside the window to get closer to Eren. 

"He's just a doll, I like him already!" Levi gave Eren a ‘get me out of this mess' look, and got out of the car. He came around and grabbed Hanji by the arm to drag her back in the house. She continued to talk to him, walking backwards. 

"You'll have to come for dinner, we would love to meet you! Well, it seems Levi already knows you pretty well, seeing how he was just eating your face-"

"We weren't even kissing that badly, shut u-"

"Goodnight, you cutie-pie!"

Eren laughed, waved, and turned the car back on. As he pulled out of the driveway, he wondered how Levi could ever be friends with someone so... Un-Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s- Harold and Maude is a movie I just watched last night, it's really funny, actually, and cute and sad and I would totally recommend it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *is happy*

/Levi's POV/

"Psssss, Levi." 

What the hell was that? Levi rolled over in his bed, away from the hissing. Sunlight streamed in through the window, and he threw his arm over his face. 

He felt a sudden weight on his leg. 

"Levi, darling dear, time to wake up!" 

Oh, right. Her. He grunted, hoping she'd leave. 

"No, I'm not going anywhere." Well damn. 

He grunted again. 

"No, I'm still not leaving." He made a noise that was something between a growl and a grunt, as a threat. She giggled, and jumped off of the bed. Maybe she was leaving...

"I don't care what you do, it's time to get up, get dressed, and-" the curtains flew open, and he retreated away from the sudden increase in brightness. "Ready for the day!"

Usually, he was a morning person. But he had been out late last night, and it was probably seven in the fucking morning. She wasn't usually up this early. 

"Why're you up?" He whined. 

She sat back down on his leg. 

"Erwin's parents are cooking a fabulous breakfast for us. We've been up for two hours, you're the only one in bed."

Damn, well, that was kind of embarrassing. He breathed deeply in, deeply out, and sat up. His hair stuck to his face- and probably in every direction. He wore the same shirt from yesterday with a pair of Nike sweatpants he'd picked up from the floor... Were these Erwin's? Oh God, gross, gross. 

As he was about to roll over to get up, his phone was alight with a silent call. 

Farlan.

Levi felt immediately nauseous. He'd completely forgotten about him. About her. About... Everything. He was such an ass. 

He snatched it and lifted it to his ear. Before he could greet him, he was already talking. His accent was thick from his hurried speech. 

"I know you're on vacation but as soon as you get back..." He sighed. 

"She needs you." 

He felt like trash. When was the last time he'd gone to see her? As a matter of fact, when was the last time he even got her flowers? Fuck flowers. A book? A movie? Something to make her days a little easier? 

"I'll be there soon, and as soon as I get back she'll be the first stop I make. I promise. Is she there?" 

"She's sleeping. I'll give her your regards."

"Tell her I've got a surprise for her." He'd buy her something while he was here. Maybe a sketchbook? She did like to draw. A nice one, with nice ass pencils and nice ass heavy weight paper and all that art shit. 

He heard the gratefulness in Farlan's voice. 

"Will do. Have fun on your trip, Lee."

"Take care, Farlan." 

When he hung up, he saw that Farlan had called 14 times before he'd picked up. He deleted the missed calls and, after a moment of silence, remembered Hanji was in the room. 

"How is she? I saw her a couple days before we left-"

He was taken aback. "You visit her?" 

She grinned. "Of course! She's just a doll, we go through comics together when I bring them, and she likes to show me her drawings. Have you seen them? I'm sure you have; they're wicked good. She takes comic panels and makes them different-"

If he didn't feel bad enough before, this was a fat kick in the face. 

"- people even, switching genders and characters. She's put you in a few, you know. They're really great. They capture your sourness perfectly." 

He glared at her until he swore he felt steam coming out of ears. But to his dismay, she was unaffected. She opened his suitcase from where it lay by the window and started to pull some clothes out. While he got up, she tossed an outfit at him. 

"You should take your little man out today!"

"He's not my-"

"That pastry shop was cute, Erwin and I went to it last night. They're real good, too. I'll lend you some money for it." He stopped her wrist as she went to pull out her wallet. 

"I'll pay," he drawled. "I'm an adult too, you know. With my own money and car and everything." 

She grasped his cheeks with her hands. "And a date! Oh, how exciting this will be so good. I'll have to take pictures."

"You're not coming," he snapped. "Now go, so I can get dressed." He scowled as he picked up the button up shirt she'd picked out. "And it's not a date! I'm not wearing this. I'll find a T-shirt..." She only winked at him, and whisked out the door so he could change. 

"Boisterous git..." He muttered. He slipped his sweatpants off, now noticing how cold the room was. Goosebumps ran up his legs, and it was no help when he slipped on the jeans and they were cold. It was the same freezing effect. Cold room and cold clothes. How annoying. He hated the cold. 

The door creaked open, and Levi turned around to see Erwin, dressed and washed up. His hair was neatly combed, but also swept to look natural. 

"What's this I hear about a date?"

Levi grunted in distress. "It's /not/ a-" 

Erwin laughed, "I know, I know. Don't bust a vein, I'm just teasing." He leaned in the room. "You don't mind making the bed, do you? I don't want my mom trying to do anything more than she is." 

"Ah," he looked at the mess of where they had all slept. "Sure thing, of course. Should I fold it all or just remake it?" 

Erwin turned to leave. "We’ll be sleeping in it tonight, so just remake it.” And he was gone.

The room they had been sleeping in was simple, but lovely. The walls were a light blue, and the carpet was white. There was a little whitewashed desk on the other side of the room, currently occupied with some of Erwin and Hanji’s clothes. The bed was against the far wall, under the window. (Levi, naturally, had slept against the wall, in all efforts to avoid the two taking up the majority of the bed.) The bed was a queen size, covered with a soft blue comforter on white sheets and white pillowcases. Everything matched, and it looked like something you’d find in a little house in the woods… Which was kind of what it was, actually. He made the bed, and straightened up the room a bit, folding their clothes and piling them neatly by their suitcases. With a last look around the room, he left to join the others. 

The room led out to a hallway, with rich wooden flooring and decorated walls. He found pictures of Erwin when he was a kid, and some others, probably distant members of his family. He smirked at one of a young, soaking wet Erwin, probably six or seven years old; caught laughing mid-jump over the yard sprinkler, his eyes shut tight and bracing for the impact. He had been a scrawny child, always looking underfed, but he had begun to work out in college until he was nicely built up. It was hard to recognize him before when you compared him with how he looked now. 

He heard laughter from the next room, and headed toward the noise. When he entered, it was the kitchen. The kitchen was the nicest part of the house, in his opinion. The walls were a pastel yellow in here, complementing the sunlight streaming through all the windows. The white lace curtains swayed gently, and the marble counters reflected them. The white tile floor was so clean, it looked as if it had been installed yesterday. The table in the middle of the room was a deep cherry wood, and had more chairs than there were people in the house. Hanji sat next to Erwin, who sat at the head of the table. His mother, wearing a grossly frilly apron over her clothes, was finishing up the food in front of her. He cleared his throat as he entered. Hanji whirled around to greet him.

“Sit next to me!” She pulled out the chair directly next to her, but he walked around to greet Erwin’s mother. 

“Good morning,” she grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it, the way elderly do. “Ready to eat?” 

“You bet,” he gestured to the table. “What can I do to help?”

She opened the cupboards to show him the dishes. “You’re a dear. You can set the table. Use these plates here, and the silverware is in,” she pulled out a long drawer next to her. “Here.” He got to work, setting out plates, and cups, forks, butter knives, napkins. Erwin and Hanji chatted happily, and as soon as all the food was set out, Erwin’s father came out of his room to sit at the other head of the table. He reached over to pat Levi on the head,

“Morning, son, haven’t seen you for a while. How've you been?” They got caught up while they ate- Pancakes, and eggs, and sausage, and toast, and orange juice, and strawberries, and oranges, and pineapple, and omelettes; this woman had made it all. They stayed at the table until 10 o’clock, prattling on and on. Levi stayed on the observant side, but they kept him involved and even he enjoyed himself.

“So,” Erwin directed the topic. “What are all our plans for today?”

Erwin’s mother picked up another strawberry and began to peel the leaves off as she spoke. “I think I’ll do some cleaning. The fridge is getting full, not to mention the freezer…”

Erwin’s dad winked at them. “Well, looks like I’m booked for some cleaning.”

Hanji piped up from next to Erwin, “Levi’s going on a date!” Erwin’s parent’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Oh?”

Levi cursed her with his eyes. “I am /not,/ and she knows that. We’re just hanging out.”

“Hanging out, with a smooch here and there-” He pushed his chair back sharply and stood up, beginning to clear his plates.

“The meal was lovely, Mrs. Smith-”

“I can already see the way you caress his cute face-”

“I’ll help clear up, and I’ll be off.” He rose his voice slightly to block out Hanji’s, but Erwin’s parents only chuckled.

“You have fun with your…” Erwin’s father smiled. “Friend.”

He scowled as he washed the dishes, and his scowl didn’t leave even as he walked out the door, haunted by Hanji’s screeching giggles. 

\-----

/Eren’s POV/

Eren hummed to the radio as he stood at the sink, washing dishes before he started baking. He still hadn't really decided what he wanted to make. A Christmas cake? Or maybe some muffins, Mikasa liked those. Christmas muffins? He wanted to do something for the holidays. He rinsed off the last dish, emptied the sponge, and pulled out his personal book of recipes to get started. 

He closed his eyes and opened the book randomly. He'd bake the first thing it opened to. 

When he looked, he read, "Triple chocolate brownies." Too simple. He'd try again. 

"Bread." Happy holidays, here's some bread. No thanks. 

He tried one more time. 

"Cheesecake."

Perfect. He opened the fridge to figure out what he'd need to buy. He had eggs. He also had whipped cream, if Mikasa hadn't eaten that already opened can... He definitely needed cream cheese. He'd have to go shopping for a few things. 

He shut the fridge, and left the kitchen to put his shoes on. He grabbed his jacket and scarf by the door, and, grabbing his keys, opened the door. 

He was greeted with an irritated looking Levi, his fist raised to knock. 

"I- Uh. Morning, Eren. Are you busy? You look busy, I can come back when you're not- I mean if you want." 

Eren planted a quick kiss on his forehead, bringing a slight blush to his pale cheeks. 

"I'm just going to the store. Come with me." He shut the door behind him and walked to the car, Levi following after him. He opened the door for Levi to get in, and went to his own side. 

When they got to the store it was mostly empty. It was two days before Christmas Eve, and most people were relaxing or visiting family. Eren picked up the things he needed and went to the front counter. There was a young lady there he saw often when he came to the store, and she greeted him with a warm smile. 

"Hello, Eren! And you have a friend! New to town?" 

"He sure is," Eren smiled. "He's just here for a couple weeks." He put his stuff on the counter, and she continued to talk while she rang it up. 

"That's nice, that's good. Whatchya makin' today?" 

"Cheesecake. I want to do something Christmasy, any ideas?" 

She 'hmm''d, and peered around the store. "We have packs of green and red chocolate chips. Those are cute. Or those little edible snowflakes? I think they're chocolate..."

Eren flashed his toothy grin and whisked around to get them. When he got them, he made his purchase, and said goodbye. 

Levi cringed at the cold air when they were outside. He was wearing his trench coat, but he still looked cold. Eren pulled his brown scarf off of his neck and wrapped it around him, covering him from neck to nose. Levi knotted his eyebrows and made a few noises from inside the scarf, but didn't want to risk taking his hands out of his pockets to take it off. Eren laughed, and wrapped his arm around him while they walked to the car. 

When they walked back inside Eren's house, Levi headed straight to the couch to warm up. Eren dropped off his stuff in the kitchen, and started pulling out bowls and things to work with. Once he got everything set up, he tied on his apron- which was actually a painting apron, because all the cooking ones said something lame like, "#1 Cook," or, "Dish me up!" - and got to work. 

When Eren next looked up, levi was sitting at the bar counter, watching Eren with his chin in his hand. 

"What's that?" He pointed at the machine in front of him, where Eren was getting ready to mix some stuff. 

"It's a food processor," Eren motion at some parts. "This thing here is replaceable, like that whisk part on an electric mixer." He pointed at a large plastic bowl. "That goes over the top, and this," he lifted a thinner plastic tube, with measurements on it. "Well, I don't really know, but it goes in that slot on the lid." He put everything together as he said and let it mix. Levi continued to watch him, but Eren didn't have a problem with that. It was kind of fun, in fact, having someone to talk to while you cooked. They talked about Erwin's family, Eren's dad, and other things. 

When Eren finally had the cheesecake in the oven, he undid his apron, and leaned across the counter on his elbows. He was nose to nose with Levi, who stared emotionless back. 

"Let's watch a movie," Eren suggested. 

"I was over real late last time we did that. Is your sister okay with that?" 

"Mikasa!" Eren called up the stairs. There was a distant thump, 'fuck,' 'shit,' another thump, and finally a, "Yes, Eren?" 

"Can my boyfriend stay the night?" Levi's eyes widened in terror. 

"Wait, you can't-" a door upstairs flew open. Mikasa leaned over the railing, suddenly on Mother Patrol. 

"Your what?" 

"Boyfriend." Eren smiled. Mikasa gave Levi a long look, which said a lot. From the thirty seconds she glared at him, he read something along the lines of, "A, you better not be as old as you look, B, why have I not met you, C, you better not have any drugs and D, you /better not be as old as you look./" 

"Depends," she said out loud. "How old is he?" 

"20," Eren answered. 

"1," Levi corrected. Eren snickered. 

"You only act one." 

"Says you, brat." Eren giggled harder. Mikasa softened a bit, seeing how comfortable he was with the man. 

"Use condoms, but we'll talk later." She smiled at Eren, and went back to her room. 

Eren groaned at her. "Gross." 

Levi nudged him, and motioned to the TV. 

"Let's go do something even more gross..." Eren's own eyes widened in horror. 

"Like cuddling kid, sweet shit and all that. Calm your 15-year old hormones, please." 

He smacked him on the shoulder, blushing furiously. "You totally said that on purpose!" 

Levi smirked. 

"Tch. C'mon, kid. How about Jurassic Park? Haven't seen that in a while."

Two hours later, they were on the second J.P movie, curled together with their fourth bag of popcorn between them. Levi had changed into a pair of Eren's sweatpants, which crawled so far past his feet that he had rolled them up to his knees to save himself the shame of rolling them to his ankles like a child. It was pretty cute, in Eren's opinion. As cute as a grouchy old man could be, that is. Levi looked over, catching Eren in the crime of staring. 

"Need something?" Eren wiggled his eyebrows. Levi smirked at him, and pulled his head down for a kiss. 

Eren was so surprised, he forgot to close his eyes for a second. But they instinctively closed, and he relaxed into Levi's touch. He was almost on top of the boy, since they had been leaning diagonally to the side, with Eren on the end and Levi against him. His lips were firm, but soft, and they dominated Eren's so good that he didn't even mind. They matched his in a dance that made Eren lose his train of thought. Levi slid his hand down Eren's back, caressing his hips and trailing over them. They kissed slowly, but deeply for a while, and Eren felt it could have been a minute or a day. (In reality, the two made out for twenty minutes. The movie played along without them even noticing, and later they had to play it back to rewatch it.) Though the kiss was calm, Eren's heartbeat was wild, fluttering around his chest like a bird trying to escape a cage. He could feel Levi's, and was pleased to notice it was just as energetic. When Eren pulled away, Levi's face was a deep red, and he looked like he had just run a small sprint. He gazed at Eren's face, his mouth slightly parted, wet from the kiss. 

"Can we finish the movie?" Eren finally joked after a long bout of silence. 

"Right," Levi smirked. "Let's finish them all."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took much longer than others, and I will warn that the rest of the chapters will happen similarly. This is the first time I've posted any writing, and I have an awful habit of abandoning it halfway. I'm trying to stick with it for your guy's sake. But! All your comments and praises are keeping me going, so thank you lots! It means a lot!
> 
> (Also another chapter of what-even-is-a-plot I'm working on it guys)

Eren woke up with a dead weight on top of him. His left arm was completely asleep, and so were his legs. Was his ass asleep too? Did asses even fall asleep? 

It wasn't too late in the morning. The house was quiet except for the repetitive J.P menu music. He read from the clock by the TV that it was only ten in the morning... How late had they been up? They didn't get through the fourth movie, but they still might have made it to three in the morning. 

He was still against the arm of the couch, with Levi leaning on him. His legs were stretched out to the rest of the couch, and he had one arm on his stomach, with the other reaching across his chest to hold Eren's hand- the one that he had feeling in. 

Eren scrunched in his chin a bit to look at a sleeping Levi. His hair was splayed out a bit, and his skin was so pale it reminded Eren of moonlight. His bottom lip was into an almost sort of pout, making him look like a child. Eren smiled sleepily, wanting to wake him up but not wanting to ruin the picture. 

Picture. 

Eren snatched his phone off the table and opened the camera. He switched it to the front camera, and angled it down so he had a perfect screen of Levi's sleeping face. 

With a shrieking shutter sound, it took the picture, and Levi jumped awake. 

He blinked and looked around. "What- Hey-"

Eren threw his phone behind the couch, pretending as if he were simply moving his arm up to lay it on top of the couch. 

"Morning, Levi. Did you sleep okay? You look uncomfortable, let's rearrange ourselves-"

"Did you take a picture?" Picture? What’s a picture? Hah… He needed an excuse. Quickly, he was gaining on him. He felt the pressure, the eyes of the enemy.

"That was, uh," The TV wasn't an excuse. Dinosaurs didn't take pictures. His stance was collapsing, any minute now he’d be a goner. The world was caving in on itself-

"Mikasa." He tried. 

Levi raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Your sister took a picture... Of us?" 

"No!" Eren prayed she was even home. "She's doing something upstairs, her camera is really loud, don't worry about it! She loves photography, she's probably taking pictures of flowers. Or something. Really. Let's go back to sleep." 

Levi had already closed his eyes again, and was sighing back into Eren's chest. 

Eren’s universe sighed in relief.

"Mm. Just shut up and fix your legs then." He did so, stretching them out, and when they were both rearranged, Levi was nearly fast asleep with his cheek on Eren's chest, laying fully on top of him. Their legs entangled together, and their stomachs breathed against the other's. Eren stroked his back softly as they went back to sleep. 

\-----

/Levi's POV/

"You call /this/ a friend? Look at you two, o-oh, you're practically married!" Levi leapt off of his position on Eren's chest when the door burst open. Hanji was wide eyed at the two, and Levi was pissed. 

"How the /fuck/ did you find me?" He turned to Eren. "Why wasn't the door locked?" 

Eren was propped up on his elbow, still trying to process the surrounding world. 

"I- uh, It was..." 

Erwin was grinning at the doorway, and Levi would bet money he had helped Hanji get in. 

She took a seat at the bar stool and started picking up the random item scattered across the counter. 

"You told us you were staying the night and well, we were so curious to see how you could be so comfortable here and I have to say you are just a doll, Eren! It's practically impossible- Oh!" She picked up a picture of a young Eren with his parents and sister, where they had been photographed by one of those cheesy family studio pictures. His parents were dressed comfortably fancy, but little Eren looked uncomfortable in his stiff button up. Mikasa wore a glittery black skirt, and her red scarf covered up most of her face and shirt. 

"Is this /you,/ Eren? And your family! How precious!" 

Levi sneered at her. 

"How did you find his house?" Hanji laughed at him. 

"Your location's on, you goof." When Levi had texted them last night, he must have left it on. Stupid. Why was that even an option? 

Poor Eren was finally sitting up, and looking rather tired. His hair stuck completely up in the back, like some sort of peacock feather display, and his clothes were wrinkled. 

"It's so nice to see you guys, but how did you get in?" Hanji winked at him and wiggled her fingers. 

"Magic." Was this woman even an adult?

Eren looked devastated. He was probably worrying about someone breaking in in the future. Levi groaned and rubbed his temples. 

"Eren, I'll support you in court if you press charges for illegal breaking and entering," he joked. Eren's eyes went wide. 

"Oh, no, that'd be awful, a total mess. It's fine, lets just- how about we- who's hungry?" Hanji made some incoherent noises that sounded something like "sweet saint" and jumped from her spot to search the kitchen. Eren too got up, and went to shake Erwin's hand. 

"Hello, Erwin, it's nice to meet you," he smiled. Erwin smiled back and returned the gesture, but he asked, 

"You too Eren, but how do you know my name?" Eren blanched. 

"Oh, well, Levi talks about you..." Levi stopped himself before he could contradict that. 

/Nice save./ he complimented.

"Thanks, I mean-" Erwin and Hanji looked at him quizzically. Eren looked blank. He changed the subject loudly. "Any requests for lunch?" 

Hanji called out from inside the pantry, "I like sandwiches!" Erwin politely took a seat at the barstool Hanji had occupied. 

"Whatever you make is good for me. Thank you for your hospitality, Eren." Eren beamed at him. 

"No problem." Hanji then squealed from the kitchen. 

"Is this /cheesecake!/" She placed the platter on the counter, and they admired it. It was perfectly smooth, and the decoration was done prettily, with a border of snowflakes, and chocolate chips scattered on the inside of the circle. Even to Levi, it looked pretty good. Eren blushed at all the attention. 

"We can have that... If you'd like. I made it last night." 

"Did Levi help you?" Erwin asked. "Because it's hard to trust anything dessert made by him." He scowled at the man. 

"I can cook just fine."

"But you can't /bake,/" Hanji touched him on the nose, and he cringed away from her. "Let's slice this beauty up, it looks absolutely delicious!" 

"Guess this is lunch," Eren laughed. He went to the kitchen to get a knife, and began to slice up the cake. 

When they were done eating- after telling Eren multiple times how absolutely positively amazingly spectacular it had tasted, Hanji linked her arm in Erwin's, and decided they were leaving.

"We'll let you two get back to your... Friending." She winked. They whisked out the door, and were gone. 

Eren went up to the window and peered through the blinds. 

"They show up so quickly and they're gone when you turn around." He laughed, turning back around. "You've got some crazy friends, Levi." 

He only grunted in response. Eren stretched and yawned, cracking some sore joints and places. His neck was a bit stiff from his position on the couch. Levi got up and did the same. 

"Plans for today?" Levi asked. 

"Nope. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. I could bake some more... You should bake with me! Well, I baked yesterday. I just wanna chill, actually. We should just watch TV... Oh," he looked bashful. "I mean, if you're not busy. I've been kind of keeping you from your friends." 

Levi waved him off. "I’d stay, but I want to catch up a bit more with Erwin’s parents. If it weren’t for them, it’d be cool. You're much more tolerable to be around." 

He could tell Eren was flattered when he looked surprised. He didn't usually let out his emotions like that, and for him to say "you're more tolerable" is pretty much saying, "I really like being with you." He 'aww'd, and kissed Levi on the nose. 

"Don't try that gross stuff with me," he warned. Eren laughed, and smothered him in a rib crushing hug, while he struggled. Levi managed to elbow him in the stomach, sending a shot of pain through his organs, and he had to let go to curl on the floor. 

"You killed me!" He whined. Levi 'tch'd, and fixed the crumpled couch cushions. When he was done with those, he left Eren on the floor, and started to leave to go piss. Eren called after him. 

"You can't just leave, you did this to me!" Levi turned, looking at him like he was an exasperating child. Well, he really was. Balled up on the floor, looking up at him with a baby pout and huge eyes. Ridiculous. 

"What do you want me to do about it, brat?"

Eren wiggled his eyebrows, his pout melting away. "Kiss it better?" 

Levi continued walking. "Fat chance." But, as he left, Eren proceeded to groan as loud as he could, drawing it out to echo on the ceiling and the walls of both the house and his mind. He willed his pee to go faster, just to get that kid to stop, oh God, anything but that noise. He sounded like an electronic distressed cow, trying to shit and throw up at the same time. Why were his lungs so huge? He blamed his mom, and his dad. Stupid healthy parents. When his hands were rinsed, he whipped open the door and stomped down the hallway. 

The noise was abruptly cut off, and Eren went to scramble from the floor in hysterical terror. He seized a giggling Eren by the shoulder, lifted him to his feet, and kissed him furiously on the cheek. It was more of a teeth smash than a smooch, but Eren was too shocked to care. 

"Just-" he let him go. "Shut the fuck up. Don't do that." Eren grinned at him. 

"No problem." He looked satisfied with himself. 

Idiot. Such an idiot. 

/You know you love it,/ Eren teased. Levi jumped, surprised at the sudden difference in pitch he hadn't noticed before. 

"Your voice is higher in telepathy..." Eren flopped down on the couch. 

"Well, yeah," he said, like he was explaining something obvious. "When you talk out loud, there's vibrations and stuff. It would be higher in your mind because there isn't any interruption." 

That made sense. 

Funny how he could say that about something so nonsensical. Oh yeah, my boyfriend and I- he blushed at boyfriend -talk it telepathy. No big deal. We may or may not be fucked up in the brain.

As Eren started scrolling through something on the TV, Levi sat next to him. Eren automatically lifted his arm to put it around his shoulders, and Levi leaned in without hesitation. 

He wondered how he could be so comfortable with Eren. How long had he known him? A few months? And now, days after meeting him in person, they were cuddling like some newly married couple. 

Was this something small? Would it fade away? How long would Eren have that shine in his eye when he looked at him? How long will he continue to get those butterflies mauling his stomach when they kissed? Perhaps someday they wouldn’t find the stupid things to talk about for hours. Maybe they’d even get bored of each other. Could he get bored of Eren?

A small gasp erupted from the boy, and Levi looked at the TV to see some cartoon airing. The character on screen was a long orange animal, with one side the head of a cat, and the other the head of a dog. 

"CatDog!" He exclaimed. Levi groaned. Maybe he wouldn’t get bored, but annoyed to death would definitely be a near factor.

"I am not watching some kids show." 

"Then don't watch it," Eren had his eyes glued to the screen, and Levi silently fumed. 

Though Levi tiptoed around the idea of a crush, there was a little Hanji-conscience inside him, already betting money he was head over heels. 

\----- 

/Erens POV/ 

Levi left around one, leaving Eren with a whole day ahead of him. He cleaned around the house for a while, but when he was left with nothing else to clean, he became bored. He went up to his sister's room to bug her. 

He knocked on her door lightly, because she hated when people knocked loudly. There was no answer, so he knocked a bit louder. 

Someone inside groaned, and there was a shuffle on the bed, and then a- 

/thwack!/

on the door. 

Eren jumped back, until he heard a small, "whatchya want?" And he decided it was safe to go in. 

When he pushed open the door, he discovered the source of the assault was a shoe thrown from the bed. The thrower in question was wrapped in a thick bundle of blankets. If Eren didn't know her better, he wouldn't have been able to recognize the fluffy cocoon she made. But he knew somewhere in the quilted mess was his sister, so he launched on top of the bed, on top of her. 

She squealed from under him, and made to throw him off, but she was trapped in her own barrier. They wrestled around for a while, until her hand burst through the blankets and smacked him right in the jaw. He fell next to her, laughing, while she struggled to emerge from the blankets.

When her head popped out, she looked flushed and angry. Her hair was a nest on her head, and she had smudged eyeliner under her eyes. She looked endearingly awful. 

"Bitch," she growled. 

"Morning breath!" Eren pretended to gag at her. She scowled and swatted at him, but he easily deflected her. She gave up, shoved her head back in her blankets, and lay still. 

"How did you sleep?" He asked lightly. 

No answer. 

"I slept good," he continued. "Levi left already. We slept on the couch." She mumbled something in response. 

"What?" He leaned closer. 

"Burn it." He laughed at her. 

"We didn't /do/-" 

/Tell her we had sex,/ Levi interrupted. /Tell her we had hard gay sex, and I shot my sperm all over the cushions./ Eren paled, and was unable to speak. Luckily, or he would have said something dumb. 

In the back of his mind, Levi laughed at his mortification. 

"Do you like him, Eren?" Mikasa interrupted. 

"Huh? Levi?" 

She twisted around to face him with her Mother-patrol expression. 

"Do you really like him? Do you trust him and respect him?" What kind of question was that?

"Of course I do! I slept with him, didn't I?" She smirked, and it took him much too long to realise what he said. 

"I- No! No no, I didn't sleep with him! I mean we slept, but we- it wasn't-" she laughed, and patted him on the head. He rolled off the bed, and left the room sulking. 

Smooth as silk, was Eren Jaeger. 

Did he really like Levi? He hadn't known him too long,, but, when he thought about it, he knew him almost as well as you could know someone. He saw the way he was with other people, and what kind of person he was when he was alone. Sure he had a bad attitude 98% of the time, but he wasn't truly cruel. And maybe his language could be a little censored-

/Fuck that./ 

But he knew when to control himself. He could be professional when he needed to be. 

He could also be funny... 

And positive... 

And a little sweet... 

"Eren quit blushing over your Grim Reaper." Mikasa passed by him on her way to the shower, and he realized he was leaning on the wall, most likely sporting the most lovesick expression a 17 year old man could pull. He pulled himself together and went off to find something else to do. 

As he pretended to watch TV, he thought, 

/If I'm in love with the Grim Reaper, does that make me a necrophiliac?/ 

/Oh my God,/ Levi put up a wall at that, and Eren laughed out loud. If this made him a necrophiliac, then send him to prison, ‘cause he wasn't about to stop.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late, but hey, finals, school, you get the jist.

/Levi’s POV/

If he were a lesser rock of a man, Levi would be sobbing. 

He had started to walk back to Eren’s house around one, and hadn’t gone ten feet before he heard a shuffling in the shrubbery that turned out to be Hanji. In Eren’s bushes. With Erwin’s fucking bird watching binoculars. What was this, one of Eren’s motherfucking cartoons?

She had insisted she was watching something on the roof, and it had nothing to do with wanting to see him and Eren kiss- which, to her disappointment, did not happen in her sight. 

He would have slaughtered her on the spot if it weren’t illegal.

/She can’t bail you if she’s dead, she can’t bail you if she’s dead,/ he repeated to himself religiously. Maybe Erwin would bail him... After he killed Levi for murdering his shitty girlfriend. That could be a plus. Wait. Then Eren would be alone. 

He just couldn't fucking win. 

He tried to keep a reasonable distance between them as they walked back to Erwin's parent's house, but she clung on to his arm like some child. He glowered the whole way. 

He had to make an effort to not chatter his teeth, but it was damn cold out and Hanji wouldn't let him put his hand in his pocket. His pale fingers were tipped red and he had forgotten his scarf. That didn't help. She was chatting away, as if he were listening, totally unaware of his discomfort. 

"-We stopped by all the shops, and there was the cutest little tea set, it made me think of you! I almost got it, but Erwin mentioned you might smash it all if I said that- So maybe I shouldn't have said that. Let's start over-" and off she went. Her tongue was going to fall out if she kept blabbing away like that. 

He let his mind wander as they walked, and he thought of Eren. The last few days had been such a new experience for him. Part of him was almost ashamed at his immediate closeness with Eren. Were they a couple? Dating? He mentally gagged at that. He hadn't dated since... Fuck. He couldn't recall ever dating. Sure, he'd fucked around with his fair share of people, but he didn't go steady with anybody. Not that he remembered... 

"Hanji." He interrupted her speech on the values of tea sets based on how many pieces they had versus what they were made of. She went silent, unnerved by his sudden involvement in her life. 

"Have I ever... Dated anybody?" She pursed her lips, and burst out laughing. 

When she didn't stop laughing, she doubled over to take gasping breaths, and Levi almost slammed her skull in the sidewalk. 

"Care to share, shitty glasses?" She took off her glasses and cleaned them, still chuckling. 

"We've been dating for three years, pumpkin." 

"What the fuck?" He couldn't tell if she was joking or not. Obviously, this was some sort of trick. But he couldn't figure out where this came from. "What do you mean?" 

"Remember the Fourth of July party we had for the office?" He didn't like where this was going. He remembered... The first bit of it, at least. It had been one of his not-so-favorite social parties. 

"You were so drunk, you didn't even know your own name. You didn't recognize me either, and you slammed your ninth shot on the table, and you said, I quote, 'Fuck me.'" 

She paused to laugh at his mortification. 

"And I was like, 'Levi, let's start with a date first, this is all happening so fast.' And you said, 'Date me. Then we'll fuck.' And I asked if you were sure, but oh man you were so wasted I knew you were fucked already, and you swore on your next drink you were totally serious, and we've been a happy couple ever since!" 

She ended her story clasping her hands to her heart, as if they were actually in love. He stared at her, not at all amused. 

Not at all. 

\----- 

Levi, Hanji, Erwin, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith were once again sitting at the kitchen table, talking away the hours. He really appreciated Erwin's parents. They'd raised him to be the honest business man he was, but they did it properly, and never tried to force him. They just showed him an example of a good man- his father -and there he was. 

/Parents definitely need that advice,/ Eren marked. 

/No kidding./ 

Hanji, at the moment, was entertaining everyone (besides Levi) with stories of Levi's drunk mistakes. Everyone (besides Levi) found it hysterical. 

"And then he said," she took gasping breaths between laughter. "He wanted cats. And we were like, well how many? And he said, 'sixteen.' So we went to different pet shops, because you know, you can't just buy sixteen cats. And we got 'em! And-" 

"She died the next morning," Levi growled. They all hooted laugher. 

He remembered the cat incident. Okay, he liked cats, but he had been /drowning/ in cat fur when he woke up. Not to mention the fucking hangover. Cat hair in your nose plus hangover does not equal a happy time. 

He had spent weeks returning them. 

Maybe he should get one again. He had the money, that was for sure... Last time he had one, he had to sell it, because they couldn’t afford it. He did like cats. They were quiet for the most part, weren’t they? And they didn't run around fucking everything up when someone walked by the yard- cough cough fucking dogs. Yes, a cat seemed like a good idea.

That's something he would think about. 

He turned his attention back to Erwin, who had mercifully changed the subject. 

\-----

When his eyes fluttered open, Erwin's parents were gone, and it was dusk outside. The curtains swayed with a small breeze from the open window, and Hanji had moved her chair next to Erwin's, where they both whispered quietly to each other. She was relaxed next to him, so different from her usual self, while he stroked her hair. 

Everything was so blissfully quiet. Levi closed his eyes and sighed. 

"He's so cute," Hanji whispered. They thought he was still asleep. Idiots. But he didn't want to tell them he was awake yet, or he'd be forced into socialization. 

"We've hardly seen him the last few days," Erwin replied. "He's been so occupied with that kid." 

Well, /now/ he was listening. 

"They're pretty much dating, even though he won't admit it," she sounded lovesick. "I don't know how they met, but they've really hit it off." 

"Yes, that's what I've been wondering. How did they meet?" He paused. "I mean, I know Levi's not like that, but did they meet online?" Hanji gasped. 

"No! He's not a pervert!" He chuckled. 

"I know. I'm sure that wasn't it. It's just so weird." 

Even he hadn’t thought about that backstory. He couldn’t lie to them forever. Sooner or later, if he kept talking to himself, someone was going to throw him in a mental facility. But the teetering question was, would they take him seriously? Would they put two-and-two together, and understand? Or would they follow along, nodding their heads while dialing the hotline for the nearest hospital? Was he willing to take that chance?

"What if I told you," they jumped three feet in the air when he spoke. "We met through the fate of the universe?" 

They were silent for a moment, shocked at his sudden intrusion, but Hanji cackled. 

"I'd tell you you'd been reading poetry!" She woke up now, now that she didn't have to whisper. She was like a child that had just been told his nap was over, all though all he’d done was lie with his eyes closed, mind going wild. Erwin laughed nervously, and continued to stroke her hair. She calmed down a fraction.

“My folks are still sleeping, try not to shake the floor so much.” She bounced on her chair, and the floor really did wobble.

“Woah!” She exclaimed. Erwin and Levi glared. She shrunk into her chair.

“Just checking.” 

He pulled out his phone to see he had three messages from Eren.

When did he get his phone number? The kid probably snuck it in at some point. He slid open the notifications.

‘If there was a party in your mouth, you’d better invite me because I’d be the first to come’

‘I can already hear you rolling your eyes at me sorry’

‘But seriously what if our eyes made noises when we blinked’

Sure enough, Levi’s eyes were on their way to the back of his head. He was dating a middle schooler. 

There was that word again. Dating. He was almost afraid to use it, but he kept throwing it out there. Dating required so much. Time. Touching. Money. Trust. Hugs. All of that revolting nastiness. 

But was that really so much of a problem with Eren? Had he ever hesitated to pause his paperwork to have a conversation with him? Hadn’t he told Eren about his sister when he hardly knew him, and never once come to regret it? 

He glanced up at Hanji and Erwin. They were back to their sleepy selves, and he almost envied them. They looked so carefree with each other. Is that how he looked with Eren?

Speaking of Eren... Where was he? He was eerily silent, but there wasn't the cottony feeling of sleep. He reached out to him and...

Hit a wall. 

Levi narrowed his eyes and sneered. The little shit. How could he...

He chuckled at his own reaction. He had /every/ right to put up his own walls, and it was about damn time he'd figured it out. He opened the reply box to text him. 

'You worried me for a second. It's not often you shut up.'

He replied in less than three seconds. 

'Christmas gift! Can't have you figuring me out' 

Christmas gift? He usually got the whole, "Since your birthday is on Christmas, this will be your birthday present too!" Bullshit. He might've been an adult, but he still had a bone to pick with whoever decided to kick him out of the womb on Christmas. Eren didn't even know his birthday.

'Make sure it's good,' he typed, 'cause it'll be my birthday gift too.' 

Erens walls were gone. 

/What!? You're kidding. My walls! What do you mean birthday? You can't be born on Christmas!/

Levi stood up, and strode down the hall to his room. He went to his suitcase to pull out some things. 

"Why not?" He whispered. 

/That's illegal or something. That's Jesus's birthday. Wouldn't it be offensive to him? Or something?/ 

"You are the craziest person I've ever met. Well," speak of the devil, Hanji padded in the room, with Erwin trailing behind. /Besides her./ 

Eren slammed his mental block back up again, and Levi had to take a few deep breaths to get used to it. Having a teen in your head really grows on you, and it's hard to go without. 

His phone lit up with one last text. 

'Goodnight, my pocketful of sunshine,' attached with a kissing emoji. You would have to pull a gun to Levi's head to use one of those. 

Or, maybe not... 

'Goodnight, my bucketful of loser,' followed by a similar sticker.

"You're /so/ in love," the female devil crooned over his shoulder. He sighed, and put his phone back in the pocket of his case. 

"I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Christmas, I've been dying to write it!  
> Also I don't believe in the stereotypical 'TXTing' so fight me I use proper grammar and so will they.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, hate me yet?  
> The updates will be smooth again, a lot has happened the past month and wowee I forgot about this. Enjoy? !

/Eren’s POV/

When he finally got home that evening, Mikasa was still awake, and from the thick smell of brewing coffee, she would be for a while. There were Christmas lights up in the hallway, and around the bar counter. She had hung various candy canes from the lights on the ceilings, the potted plant by the TV, and other random places. There was a little four-foot tree in the corner, looking old but proud. A box of their ornaments sat by it. 

She heard the door shut, and called out from her room upstairs. He carefully placed Levi’s Christmas gift down, and took the steps a few at a time. He was blessed with his long legs.

She was sitting at her mirror, leaning forward in a funky position to see her eyes in the mirror as she applied her eyeliner. Her hair was half done, placed in little curlers. She was wearing a sports bra and basketball shorts to really top it all off. 

“What’re you getting ready for?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. She rolled her eyes and smiled.

“A date.”

He pulled out her chair from her desk and sat backwards on it. “You’re official! Armin owes me money!” She glared at him in the mirror. 

“You did /not/ bet on us.”

“We certainly did.”

She lowered her eyeliner, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. There was a long silence, and then a grin sneaked across her mouth. 

"How much?" 

He beamed. "20." 

"Nice. Now get out." He mockingly saluted her, and slipped out. As he thudded down the stairs, he remembered the bare Christmas tree. 

"What were you planning to do with the tree?" 

"Oh," she called back. "Do whatever with it. I worked out all my Christmas cheer."

He approached the box, and carefully pulled open the tattered flaps. It was old, and contained all of the silly things they made in grade school, like paper crafts and Popsicle stick frames. But they kept all of it, because they remembered every smile and praise their mom had shown when they presented it after school. They remembered how she would clasp it to her heart, exclaiming it would be the very best of the whole tree, and how she would delicately attach it to its own place on the tree. 

He hurriedly blinked the tears from his eyes. He tended to cry a lot on Christmas, it was an annual thing he'd gotten used to. 

He spent a half hour putting it all together, remembering where some things had been placed by her hands, and others just squeezing in their own place. He had just put the last one on when Mikasa came down the stairs. 

She wore a skin tight black dress that made a little brother wish he'd never seen his own blood in, but was modest enough with a high neck. She wore simple, short red heels, and topped it off with her scarf. Her hair bounced around her gently in its curls, and her make up made her look... Dangerous, was the right word. 

He cat called her, and she stuck her tongue out. 

"Gross. But the tree is nice." He jumped up to grab her coat for her, and slipped it on her shoulders. 

"Where are you going?" 

"Out of town." She slid the sleeves on, and reached for the keys. 

"Where's that?" 

She picked up her purse from its place near the door, and rummaged around in it. "A club." 

He gasped, and snatched the keys. He lifted them high up before she could grab them. She glared with a fiery venom. 

"You're underage! What kind of club is open on Christmas?" 

"That is /not/ your problem," she elbowed him in the stomach, and grabbed them when he was at his weakest. "And besides, I'm not drinking. She'll be too shitfaced to drive, so I'll stay sober. Relax." He sighed, and opened the door for her. She smiled softly at him, and patted his cheek. 

"Invite that boyfriend of yours over. He doesn't look like the family type, I'm sure he's free. Have fun." She click-clacked out to her car. 

"What time will you be back?" He called off the porch. She only waved at him from the driver's seat, and sped off. He mumbled at her as he went back into the house. 

When he shut the door behind him, he went to the box to check on Levi's Christmas gift. 

He was going to love it. 

\----- 

/Levi's POV/ 

It had been almost a whole day since Levi had been connected to eren. These walls were driving him crazy. When he woke up Christmas morning, he was almost grateful for the noise hanji made. Except, he would've preferred she wake them up later than four forty-five in the fucking morning. 

"I got you a gift," she giggled. A little box was thrust on to his stomach, and he tried to push it off. 

"Later." He felt Erwin groan next to him, as something was thrust on to his stomach as well. 

"Hanji," he whined. "The sun isn't even up." Levi blinked open his eyes to see what she was making such a fuss about. She was visibly shaking, from excitement, probably. She was also already dressed, and she had sickly bags under her eyes. 

"How long have you been awake?" Levi asked. Erwin groaned again. 

"Tell me you didn't stay up /again./You didn't sleep last night, either." It was true. After her nap in the kitchen, she hadn't stopped whispering to Erwin all night. Levi had gotten some sleep, but the poor man was probably exhausted. 

She laughed like a maniac. 

"I can't sleep! I've been so excited to give you guys your gifts, please open them! I'll let you go back to sleep right after, I promise!" They both sighed, and made eye contact. She wasn't going to sleep until they opened the fucking presents. 

The room was indeed dark, but he could see pretty well. He re-read the clock, just to assure himself it wasn't a dream (more like a nightmare, really) and he was truly opening fucking Christmas presents before dawn. 

The shit this woman put him through, really. 

"Alright," he sat up. "Let's get it over with." Erwin scooted to the end of the bed, and pulled over his suitcase. He pulled out two wrapped boxes, and tossed one to each of them. 

"If we're starting now, might as well." 

Levi pointed to his own suitcase on the desk. "Get me mine. I got something for you brats as well." Hanji audibly gasped at this, and clasped her hands to her heart. 

"You angel! I can't wait!" Erwin found the neatly wrapped things, and gave Hanji hers. 

Levi's first gift was from Hanji, clumsily wrapped in cheesy snowmen paper, and tied with a bright pink bow. He pulled that off, and gently unwrapped the paper. He pulled out the box, advertising some type of bolts. 

"Ignore the box, that's not it. I just wanted something to put it in, I hate wrapping fabric." He peeled off the tape, and pulled out a black piece of clothing. He held it up, but it was blank. Erwin snickered. 

"That's great, really suits you." He turned it around, and read, 

"CAUTION: I don't give a fuck." 

He sighed. 

Hanji burst out in laughter. "Please wear it! Wear it today, I want a picture of you in it!" He set it next to him and, ignoring her, picked up Erwin's gift. 

It was wrapped in the same paper, but much neater, with nicer folds and a more conservative bow. When he tore it open, he pulled out a box of Gucci cologne. His favorite. He nodded at Erwin. 

"This is nice, thank you." Erwin nodded back. 

"My pleasure." 

Hanji whined. 

"You didn't thank me!" They laughed at her. 

It was only five in the morning, but he was almost feeling the Christmas spirit. Almost. 

As soon as Erwin had opened his gift from Hanji- a new tie with a Scooby-doo pattern -she yawned twice, teetered, and finally passed out on Erwin's lap. He and Levi made eye contact that said, 'Seriously.' 

They made that face a lot with her. 

Levi sighed, and started gathering the strewn paper. He balled it all up loudly- there was no waking her up now, it was hopeless -and tossed it in the bin. When he came back, Erwin had lifted her to her own spot on the bed, and was standing in the middle of the room, stretching. He made a few pained noises, and yawned. 

"Well, now I can't sleep. I'm sure my parents will be up in a few, anyways. But you can go back to sleep." 

"Nah," he shrugged. "I might head over to Erens." He started to his suitcase to pick an outfit for the day. Erwin raised his brow. 

"At five-fifteen in the morning? Why would he be awake?" 

Levi pulled out his clothes, and headed to the bathroom to change. 

"He won't."

\-----

When he finally stopped at Erens door, he thought he would perish of cold. He wore jeans, and a long sleeve shirt, along with a sweatshirt, and his trench coat, topped with a beanie and a scarf. He even had gloves. 

But he was so. Fucking. Cold. 

He refused to take his hands out of his pockets, instead slamming his head on the wooden door until he heard an uneven thumping down the stairs. 

When it opened, he was met with an angry looking teenage boy in his underwear. 

"Who the fuck are- Levi?" 

"Happy Christmas, kid. Let me in." Eren blinked a couple times, but quickly opened the door for him, and he was finally greeted with warmth. 

He slipped off his shoes, scarf, beanie, and trench coat, but continued to shiver in the rest of his clothes. Eren kissed him quick on the cheek, and went to the kitchen. 

"I've got milk, orange juice-" 

"Something warm." 

"I was getting there," Eren opened the cupboard. "Tea, hot chocolate, coffee." 

"What kind of tea?" He sat on his usual seat at the barstool. 

Eren pulled out a red box. "It's raspberry. It turns a really pretty pink color, I love it." 

Levi wrinkled his nose, but shrugged. "Sure, why not." 

As Eren filled a cup with water, Levi couldn't help but stare. Did he even realize he was almost naked? He was so much different than Levi would have thought, with rich toned skin and muscles. He was skinny, and he wasn't totally ripped, but he stood at that delicious spot in between, with biceps that showed but didn't stand out. 

When he turned around, Levi blushed, and smirked. 

"What?" Eren put the cup in the microwave and nuked it. 

"Your underwear really brings out your eyes." Eren jumped, as if he had been told Christmas was actually yesterday, and visibly paled. But he laughed it off, and thrust his hands on his hips. 

"Yeah, you like what you see?" He turned around and- the fucking brat -wiggled his ass in Levi's direction. He narrowed his eyes. 

"You're gonna get me thrown in prison for that, kid." 

He laughed, and started up the stairs to change. "Not my fault you pop a boner at everything I do." Levi scoffed. 

"Don't be so full of yourself," he tried to brush off the annoyingly true words. Brat. 

The microwave beeped shrilly, and he decided he was capable of finishing it himself, so he did. He set it to the side and watched it turn a pale pink, steadily darkening to more of a neon color. He frowned at it, and turned to Eren coming down the stairs. He wore sweatpants now, but left his top bare. 

"Is this radioactive?" The boy laughed. 

"I think it's pretty. Try it, it's gross when it's cold." He took a cautious sip, and decided he liked it. A little strong, but it was good. He nodded approval, to which Eren beamed. Suddenly, he jumped out of his skin. 

"It's Christmas!"

Levi sighed, and sipped his fruity tea. 

"Seems so." Eren ran to the living room, and started shuffling some things around. Levi heard him pick up a box, and carried it to the counter. He set it beside him, and stepped back to grin at him. 

"Merry Christmas, Levi." 

The box wasn't wrapped. It wasn't even closed. 

"You didn't wrap it." Eren laughed. 

"You'll thank me for that." 

He picked up the box at an angle, and the thing inside it slammed against the side and... Squeaked?

"What the..." He opened the flap, and was greeted with bright blue eyes. 

A kitten. 

A pure black, new, tiny kitten. It was barely old, and had been sleeping before he had so rudely thrown him to the side. 

"Brand new, yours to name," Eren noted. "You said you wanted a cat, so... Oh," Levi felt the walls in his head /finally/ let down, and relished the connection. He felt Erens excitement and nervousness, and realised he had been sitting with the same blank face, without telling Eren whether he even liked it or not. He grabbed him by his hip and pulled him down for a kiss. He made a squeak similar to the animal, and blushed like a schoolgirl. When he pulled back, he smiled at him, and picked the cat up in his arms. 

"I love it. Thank you, Eren." He let the cat relax in his arms, and reached in his sweatshirt pocket. "I have something for you as well." He pulled out the little package and handed it to a wide eyed Eren. 

He had spent days trying to think of a gift for the kid. It had been hard, because he could've gotten him anything, really. He made use of everything, and tended to enjoy the smallest things. But he wanted something that would remind him of Levi, especially when he would go back to his own state. 

So he had chosen the necklace. It was a little gold key, and when he had found it, he had an image of Hanji in his mind's eye, claiming, "it's the key to your heart!" 

When Eren opened it, there was a flash of confusion in his features, and Levi decided to go for it. He took a deep breath, and,

"It's... The key to my... Heart." Eren gawked at him, and suddenly threw his arms around him. The kitten squirmed awkwardly in his other arm. 

"That is the cutest thing you have ever said! I'm so happy, I'll wear it all the time- except the shower, so the metal won't get funky- I love it! I love you!" Levi laughed and petted his hair. 

"I love you too, Eren." 

He drew back, and fingered the little charm. They sat in a comfortable silence, Levi stroking the cat while Eren played with his necklace. 

They sat there through the sunrise, letting the room change shade from deep blue to a light orange. They listened to the wind outside, and sometime while they sat there, it had begun to snow. It fell softly, not making a noise. All was quiet. 

It was a beautiful moment.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every single comment and praise makes me so happy, you guys seriously rock! Thank you for giving me the motivation to keep this going!

/Erens POV/

After the sun rose Christmas morning, Eren insisted on watching as many Christmas movies that were on. After all, what was Christmas without the classics? 

The first one they watched was Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Levi ended up tolerating that one, after getting over what he commented was, "weird ass art." He also enjoyed the original, 'A Christmas Carol,' but when Eren said he was totally a Mr. Scrooge, the Christmas spirit was gone and Levi decided he couldn't handle any more of these movies. 

Erens dad called, and he spent about ten minutes talking to him, letting Levi rest in his lap. He wished him a Merry Christmas, and asked to talked to Mikasa. 

"She's still out," he told him. "But I'll have her call you when she's back." 

"Alright. I'll talk to you later then. Love you."

"Love you too," and he hung up. 

He set the phone down and there was only the background noise of the TV. Eren ran his fingers through Levi's darkhair, making him grumble and reach up to fix it. 

"Rude, Eren." He carefully patted it all back down, and when he was finally satisfied, Eren shoved it back up. 

This repeated three times, until Levi huffed at him and sat up. Eren groaned, sad that he had chased his pet away. 

Speaking of pet, the cat was poking around the room, smelling and pawing at random things. He sat at the tree, and started playing with one of the hanging ornaments. Levi watched him with a mixture of interest and awe, as if he were watching a rare species in its natural habitat. 

It was adorable. 

/When did I become such a raging gay?/ Eren thought. Levi chuckled, but didn't respond. 

They sat in silence, Eren half-watching the TV, Levi immersed in the cat. Unnoticed by either of them, Levi slowly sank back into Eren's lap, and they rested there for a while. 

The front door was thrust open, startling the both of them. Eren recognised Mikasa's disgruntled voice murmuring to someone, and a heavy shuffling. Levi sat up, and they both twisted around to see what was going on. 

Mikasa's makeup and dress had long since lost their appeal, and she looked like she had fought off a few thugs the night before. She was nothing compared to Annie. 

Annie, thrown over Mikasa's shoulder, was missing her shoes, and a strap of her dress was hanging off her arm. They couldn't see her face, but they knew she was out cold. Mikasa slammed the door, and started toward the couch. When she started to toss her down, they scrambled out of the way. She slumped on to the couch, and Mikasa huffed at her. She headed to the kitchen as the boy's gave each other a look that said, 'this doesn't look good.'

"I take my eyes off of her for two minutes," she whipped open the fridge and pulled out the milk. "Two minutes to take a piss and she's standing on the barstool, ten times more wasted than when I left her!" She snatched a tall glass out of the cupboard, filled it with milk, and chugged it roughly. There was an awkward pause, filled with the faint TV sounds and her gulping. She finished, tossed the cup in the trash- why -and put the milk back in the fridge. 

"Uh, Mikasa," Eren tried to interrupt, but she was on fire. 

"I went to grab her, but she was like, 'No, I have a girlfriend,' and I was like, 'You're fucked, we need to go.'" She waved her arms as she spoke, spitting her words. "So then! She tried to start a fight! 'You, me, outside, bitch. I'll have you eating the ground,' as if she could fucking take me! As if!"

"Okay but we only have like three cups-"

"So I took her outside, but as soon as we stepped out, she forgot about our 'fight,'" she made air-quotes for the word, "and decides to start yelling at the traffic. I was trying to shut her up, but I couldn't even find the fucking car. We were on the other side of the building! Fuck, it took like, a half hour to get her around the place and in the car, but she passed out as soon as she hit the seat so that made things easier. Fuck. Never again." She leaned her elbows on the counter and buried her head in her hands. "Never again."

Eren glanced at Levi, who was red in the face trying not to laugh. It almost made Eren laugh, too... If he weren't terrified of his sister, that was. 

He got up from his place by the couch, and went to retrieve the cup; but it was shattered, so he left it. He went to her and started to gently massage her shoulders. She relaxed noticeably, and sighed. 

"She was pretty funny on that stool, though..." She snickered, and Eren saw the green checkmark in his mind's eye that gave the okay to laugh, which he did. 

/She's awa-/ Levi cleared his throat, remembering to speak out loud. "She's awake, Mikasa." On cue, Annie groaned in misery. 

"Oh, shit, she's gonna-" Mikasa bolted and almost threw the trashcan at Annie before she soiled the carpet. Eren scowled at the sight of Annie retching last night's drinks in his kitchen trash. He beckoned for Levi to follow him up the stairs. 

As they trumped up, Mikasa called after them, 

"Stay protected!"

Eren groaned loudly, and Levi snickered behind him. Eren realised Levi had never actually been in his room, and almost felt shy about it. 

"Don't get all blushy with me, I haven't even taken your pants off yet," Levi joked. Eren blushed harder. 

"Typical pedophile. Take the child to their room, shut the door, commit the crime. You're sick." 

Levi winked. 

"Sick in /love,/" he retorted. They both snorted as they went in the bedroom. 

Eren watched carefully for Levis reaction to the mess. His clothes were strewn carelessly around, and even draped over his curtain rod- don't ask why, it just seemed easy. He had dumped an old drawer full of various things in the middle of the floor, and had abandoned sorting it less than halfway. Pop cans were sneaking out from under his bed. There were dishes on his side table, and even on the floor. The carpet had not been vacuumed in, well, probably never. His bed was unmade. His desk chair wasn't even near his desk. It was-

"Fucking filthy," Levi scowled. "How do you live like this? Disgrace. I know dogs tidier than you." He kicked at an empty bowl, and folded his arms. 

"Clean it." 

Eren blinked. "Excuse me?" 

"Damn right, excuse you," he jabbed his finger in the poor boy's chest. "You invited me up here, there's no where to even sit. Clean it up so we can at least have some room." He leaned against the door frame, and gave Eren a look that clearly gave him no choice but to do what he was told. 

An hour later, the room was tolerable. He had growled and grumbled all the way, but Levi finally sat on the bed without a frown. He had made it, and cleared some junk off the floor. He had made several trips down the stairs for dishes and trash. It looked almost normal. 

"Okay," he slumped down next to the man. "Happy, now?"

Levi smirked. "Wait till I get my hands on it, I'll scrub the place clear." Eren's eyes lit up, and he started talking with his hands. 

"That reminds me of that one Spongebob episode where he has to do the dishes, but there's a spot, and he scrubs it for ages, and he even builds this giant machine and zaps it with a big green laser and it STILL won't get clean and-"

"Eren, you're such a loser." He lightly smacked him in the back of the head, and Eren grinned at him. 

"Yeah, but you're totally in love with me," Eren bragged. Levi rolled his eyes, but a smile touched his lips. 

\-----

/Levi's POV/

That evening, when Annie had fully recovered, the four of them were lounging in the living room, talking over the TV. Annie and Mikasa took up the couch, while Levi sat in the recliner, and Eren on the ground between his legs. He rested his cheek on the man's knee, and Levi could feel he was falling asleep. The kitten was still exploring the house, and had yet to acknowledge any of the people in the room. 

He suddenly remembered, he hadn't thought of a na-

Eren sat up straight, hearing Levi's thought.

"What're we naming the cat!?" 

Said cat skittered out of the room, away from the giant shouting teenager. 

Annie shot a murderous glare, still weaning off her hangover. She buried her head in Mikasa's lap, muttering about duct tape and fists. 

Eren started shooting off suggestions. 

"Okay, it's black, so that calls for something really cool. You could name it after something related to death, like Hades or Mortem-"

Mikasa made a face. "Who names anything mortem?"

"-Or you could name it after a character, what's your favorite show?"

"Uh," What shows did Levi watch? It didn't matter, Eren was talking too fast for him to interject.

"Batman! Batman wears all black. Oh, or Batboy, since it's a kitten. But it won't be a kitten forever, I guess. Wait, okay, forget characters. Let's go something weird."

"As if this wasn't weird enough," Mikasa snickered. 

"Neptune? Jargon. Pocky! Apollo. Dynamite. Mystery. Hah, get it, because it doesn't have a name." 

Mikasa caught Levi's eye and smiled. 

"Eren, this isn't your cat to name," she reminded. "Let him decide."

He stopped in his tracks. "Oh! Right, duh." He twisted around to look up at him. "Well?" 

Well, what? Come on, Levi, think of a name. It had to be something he wouldn't get tired of. Or forget. Also something people could spell. It had to be tactical, easy to say. He needed to be able to say it endearingly, but also when he was scolding. Well...

"Jack," he blurted. 

Eren looked almost disappointed, but then he laughed. 

And so did the girls. 

Okay, it wasn't /that/ funny. When he said it, it hadn't been final, but now that it was being ridiculed, he felt the need to defend it. He frowned. 

"Whats wrong with Jack?"

Mikasa had the voice of a mother laughing at her silly little child. 

"Its just so... Plain."

Annie spoke up, "After Eren's ramble, you think of Jack?"

"I think it's just fine," Levi said. "Its better than anything Eren came up with." 

Eren's giggling ceased. 

"Hey!" Levi winked at him. 

The cat sauntered back in the room, ready to explore again now that he was accustomed to the noise. He crept by Levis chair, near Eren. Eren reached out his hand to let the kitten get to know him.

"Hey... Jack," he tried half-sarcastically. "Jack. Jackie. Jack and the beanstalk. Jack and Jill."

"Jack Black," Mikasa threw in.

"Jack-o-Lantern," Annie added. 

"Cracker Jacks."

"Jumping Jacks."

"Jack off."

"Jack the Ripper."

"Jack Daniel's." 

"Jack-in-the-Box."

"Jackie Chan."

"The more we say it," Eren broke the chain. "The more it doesn't really sound like a name." 

"I'm starting to like it," Annie said. Mikasa agreed. 

Levi reached down to ruffle the fur between the cats ears. 

"Hello, Jack." Jack rubbed against his hand, and purred. 

/Happy Christmas, Levi. He likes you./

He smiled. 

/Thank you, Eren. Happy Christmas./

He hadn't had such a happy Christmas in years.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Do you guys even read my notes)
> 
> I am having too much fun writing this, please notify me if any of the timeline is out of order, because I have no self control and sometimes the day I want it to be doesn't quite match up with the day it really is.
> 
> But thank you all for the encouragement!

/Levi’s POV/

A loud thump and a curse woke him up in the dead of night. He rolled over in his place on the couch, ready to give whoever was being so obnoxious a reminder on how to be quiet, but when he saw the sheer terror on Eren’s sleepy face, he sighed, and decided he’d let this one pass.

They had decided to sleep in separate rooms that night, since Mikasa had company, Levi hadn’t wanted to intrude in Eren’s room, and dear Lord if he was crunched up on that couch with that lanky bastard one more night he’d be in the chiropractic’s the next morning.

Eren lowered himself to his knees, hunched over as if by making himself smaller he could avoid Levi’s anger.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, I couldn’t sleep. I was just coming down for a drink…”

A drink. Sure.

“The kitchen’s that way, kid,” he shoved his thumb in the opposite direction. The boy gaped, and stood back up sheepishly.

“Right… Yeah, I’ll get that.” He wandered to the kitchen, and Levi heard his hands slide on the wall for the switch. He gave a brief warning, and the lights above the counter came on. The back of the couch blocked most of the glare. 

The house was peaceful, silent. Faint, colorful light filtered through the curtains from neighbor's Christmas lights, while they floated around gently from a breeze in the room. Jack was no where to be seen, most likely sneaking around the house still.

He listened to Eren moving around, sounding like a drunk man. He opened way more cupboards than necessary, and with an-

“Oh, crap!”

-managed to catch whatever he’d dropped.

/Cute./

Eren filled with enough embarrassment for Levi to feel, and he decided to rub it in.

/Cutie./

/You’re a punk,/ he replied.

His footsteps were lazy and loud, dragging across the kitchen. How did Mikasa ever sleep with this kid home? When he finally managed to fill the cup, he left the water on while he was drinking.

It was unbearably annoying. That was /crossing a line./ Did he even realise California is currently suffering a drought right now? The nerve of this kid.

Hearing that thought, Eren muttered a ‘sorry,’ and switched the water off. 

“Uh, want some?” 

Levi took a moment to decide if he did or not.

“Sure.” 

A few hydrating minutes later, Eren had seated himself on the floor, and rested his head on the couch near Levi’s waist. He stared up with big eyes, all traces of sleep gone.

“You know what you remind me of?”

Eren perked. “What?”

“That kid who makes up any excuse around the block to avoid going to sleep.” 

“Oh yeah? Well, you’re the old man who can’t stay awake!”

“Rude, Eren.”

Eren made a cross-eyed, grumpy face. “/Rude, Eren,/” he mocked. Levi smiled, and batted him on the head.

“Whatever. So what’s the real reason you came down here?”

“Well,” Eren drawled. “I was a little thirsty.”

“You could’ve used the faucet upstairs.”

“Right.”

“...Right.”

It clicked.

“O-o-o-oh.”

They stared. Maybe there was still a little sleep left in him. Or a lot.

“Then I woke you up for no reason?”

“You must be phenomenal in school,” Levi smirked.

“Hey!” Eren raised his voice, despite the sleeping persons in the household. “I have, like, mostly B’s. And an A. I’m not too bad.”

“What’s your A in?”

“P.E,” he boasted. 

“That doesn’t even count. P.E is just for credit. It’s not even a representation of your ability to come to logical conclusions and solve-”

“Okay, Mr. Learning Target, it raises my GPA, so that’s all that matters.”

Levi hummed back his retort, not wanting to storm too hard on this kid’s parade.

Eren huffed at him.

“Sounds like someone needs to go to sleep now,” he patted his bedhead. Eren sighed.

“I actually came down because I missed you. Come sleep with me.”

Ah, so the truth was out. 

“My, my, Eren, sleep with you? Such a request-”

“Levi!”

“I don’t think we should be moving along so quickly, you’re so young.”

“I am /seventeen./” He stood up, and lifted his nose dramatically. “Be that way, I’ll sleep on my own.” He turned on his heel and made his way back to his room. Levi let him have a few minutes alone to pout, until he swung his legs off the couch, and piled the blankets and pillows in his arms.

Such a needy dork.

Climbing up the stairs, the cold seeped through his old socks. It drew shivers down his arms and legs. He pushed the boy’s door open with his foot, and dumped the sleeping things on the form of the boy in his bed. He pulled up the mess just enough to slide under, and did so. He lay on his back, taking up a respectful space on the full bed. Eren was facing the wall, and the warmth radiated off his back. It was nice, after the cold hall floor. The bed was comfortably messy, a pile of pillows and blankets that covered them in a sleepy warmth. 

A car drove by outside, and the headlights danced through Eren’s hair. He couldn’t see his face, but he knew the boy wasn’t sleeping. In fact, he was tense; as if he were trying not to move. Levi sighed. If he was too scared to twitch his finger, he wasn’t getting to sleep. A twinge of pity touched him. He didn’t want Eren to be so cautious around him. Sure, he could be snappy, but he’d never want Eren to fear him.

Levi turned on his side, and rolled closer. He smelled Eren off of his T-shirt; the deep, natural yet artificial smell of a teenager, soothing and exciting at the same time. He pushed his leg forward to intertwine it with Eren’s, who gasped, surprised at the sudden contact. He wrapped his arm around his waist, and was surprised to feel some actual-real-live muscle under that skinny figure. Eren was more tense than before, and Levi would bet he was holding his breath. 

Suddenly, he feared this hadn’t been such a good idea. Was he doing it wrong? This was how they did it in the movies, right? Was Eren uncomfortable? He tried to focus on relaxing his body, in case he was putting an unnecessary amount of pressure on him. Or maybe the pressure was mental. Maybe Eren didn’t want this. 

Oh, God, he really messed up this time. What was he thinking, forcing himself on the boy like this? At that, Levi began to ease his arm away, ready to leave. It was for the best-

But he felt a larger hand slide gently through his, and pull it back. He felt him- finally -relax with a sigh. He sank into the bed, and he sank into the position. He chuckled.

“Sorry, you just, ah, don’t seem like a cuddler. I was surprised.” Levi chuckled back, desperately relieved. He leaned his forehead against Eren’s back, and sighed.

“I’m full of surprises, just you wait.”

\-----

/Eren’s POV/

Okay, when he’d demanded Levi to sleep with him, he did /not/ think it would happen. He especially did not expect this.

Well, he wasn’t disappointed. No way. This was fantastic; Levi Ackerman, in /his/ bed. Total bragging rights for, like, ever. How many people could say /that!/

...Well, actually, he didn’t want to know.

He felt Levi’s head rest between his shoulder blades, and he sighed again. He was probably really tired. Not to mention sore, from that couch. He should probably let the poor man sleep in… Eren gently reached in front of him for his phone, and quickly turned the brightness down before disabling the alarms. With the arm not attached to Levi, he reached up and tugged the curtains over the window, so the sun wouldn’t wake them. When he pulled back, Levi grunted, and pinched his side.

/Stop moving, damn. First time I cuddle and I learn why I don’t./ Eren pinched his hand back and shushed him. First time cuddling? Had he never shown affection to anyone? There was no doubt Levi had physically been with people- /shoot me dead if he hasn’t,/ Eren thought. -but he couldn’t remember a time Levi had spoken about dating people. Even Eren had dated people! Well, girls. Had Levi ever been with a girl? Was he bisexual? Or just gay? Was he even sure? Was Eren the first guy he’d ever been with?

/Eren, just go to sleep, you’re so personal./

/Okay, but wait, if you’ve never been with a guy-/

/Wait till the morning, I’ll answer all your questions./

/Fine fine, fine./

The wind howled through the snowy trees outside, mixing with their sleeping sighs.

\-----

When Levi finally woke up, Eren was a book of questions.

/Okay,/ Levi sighed. /One at a time./

/Gay?/

/Been with girls./

/Bisexual./

/Didn’t like girls./

/Coulda said that./

/Their junk is gross./

/This is taking a bad turn./

/It took a bad turn when you started talking./

/Pretending you didn’t say that-/

/I can repeat myself-/

/Gay?/

/I suppose./

/Since when?/

/Well,/ Levi said. /My experimental phase at fourteen never really wore off, so I guess since then./

/Wait, how long have you been doing It?/

/Doing what?/

/You know.../ Eren hesitated.

/Sex, Eren?/

/Okay well don’t say it, that just makes it weird./

/Well, Eren,/ Levi emphasized the forbidden word with a grin. /I wasn’t having /sex/ at fourteen, but I was did start having /sex/ with my friends around sixteen. I didn’t start having /sex/ with girls until a couple years ago, when I realized I did not like the /sex/ parts of women./ 

Eren had buried his face in as many pillows as he could grab in arms reach, but he couldn’t escape the voice that was literally in his head.

/You’re so crude,/ he whined. /I’m done asking questions./

Levi hummed an acknowledgement, and decided to go back to sleep. His gross man-snoring emerged in a mere few minutes. Meanwhile, Eren was still awake.

Okay, gay. Also lewd. But that did answer his question about his experience of physical affection... Which was none. What if Eren really screwed this up? He’d only ever really cuddled with girls. Girls were smaller, and softer, and fragile. Levi was small, but not really girl-ish. What if he did it wrong, and Levi didn’t like it, and decided to cuddle someone else? Maybe he should Google it. Yeah, he’d do that. Or he could ask Mikasa… Or maybe not, he thought. She wouldn’t be much help in the ‘guy’ section. Who had experience cuddling with guys? 

He suddenly remembered he had a little blonde friend who was ferociously gay. Perfect. He had to have the answers. He could write a book for him. ‘How to be Gay: A guide to Being a Homo.’

Okay, but seriously, he’d have to talk to Armin about this. And maybe about the other things, too, like, ‘Oh, yeah, by the way, we can also talk telepathically.’

Which he should also be talking to his sister about… Crap.

That’ll go well.


	21. Chapter 21

?Eren’s POV/

"Okay," Mikasa was visibly straining not to scream. "Let me get this straight. You think-"

"No, we /know,/ Mikasa-" 

"You and your boyfriend here," she winced. "Can talk... in your heads."

Eren and Levi both stared at her, willing her to process. Eren had invited Armin over, and the four of them were in the living room, having a very complicated discussion. So far, Armin hadn't said a word. He looked in pain. 

"Look, I know this sounds crazy," Levi tried. 

"Crazy?" She interjected. "This is a joke. It's not even funny. Where's the punchline? Do you think I'm dumb?" 

Armin could see she was getting upset, so he jumped in. 

"Let's just make them prove it." He stood up, and motioned for Eren to get up. He was confused.

“Prove it? How?”

Armin smiled. “This is, like, a super easy thing to prove. Honestly. Mikasa, take Levi upstairs, and I'll take Eren outside. Bring your phone." 

Mikasa threw an unnecessary glare toward Levi, but led him respectfully up the stairs. Armin and Eren went to the door to slip on some outside gear, and exited the house. 

Armin pointed them to the truck, where they could sit inside. They hopped in, Armin in the driver's seat, and shut the door. 

"This is crazy," he said. 

"I know." 

"I'll be very upset if you're lying."

"Trust me," Eren pressed. "I wouldn't lie like this. I've been having a hard time hiding it anyways."

"The only reason I remotely believe you," Armin wagged his finger at the boy. "Is from how weird you've been acting. I've known you since we were five, but I have never seen you be silent for more than five minutes. I've been very worried." 

He pulled out his phone and called Mikasa. She answered immediately, and Eren could hear her through the speaker.

"What we’re gonna do," Armin skipped the greeting. "Is simple. I'll tell you what to say, I'll text Mikasa, and if Levi repeats it, it's kind of obvious. So here we go." 

He hung up, and shifted around in his seat so he was facing Eren, and Eren couldn't see the phone. His brow creased, and his big eyes looked older and stern. Eren felt almost uncomfortable, being observed like this. He wrung his hands together nervously. 

Armin thought for a moment, and started texting. There was an awkward pause, with the simple soft tapping of his fingers on the screen, until he suddenly started reading aloud. 

"Okay, question one, oh wait," he erased whatever he'd typed, and re-texted. "It would make more sense this way..."

More awkward pause. 

There was some gunk on the window crane that he picked at. 

"Okay," Armin continued. "She's gonna ask /him/ a question, and you'll answer to me. She'll ask questions she already knows the answer to." He waited for a response, and when he got the okay, he continued to stare at Eren. Eren realised he should be paying attention to Levi. 

/...fifth grade?/ Mikasa was saying. 

/Did you catch that?/

Oh, God, he hoped it wasn't...

/Incident in the fifth grade,/ Levi repeated. 

Oh no. 

Eren flushed a deep red. "Do I have to answer this?"

Armin relayed the text. 

"She said, 'Interesting. But make him answer.'"

She was totally doing this on purpose. 

/Eren, it can't be that bad./ 

/It's awful./

/Spill it./ 

/Okay, well, it was recess,/ Could he just crawl in a hole now? /and Jean was being a dick, chasing me around, like kids do. So I was gonna beat him up-/

/Just get to the end./

/- I tackled him and he held me down and I pissed my pants and he got piss on him-/

/Wha-/

/-and he was so mad he punched me and split my lip so I had blood and piss on me and I was also crying I had blood /and/ piss /and/ tears-/

/Eren, dear,-/ 

/It was literally the worst day in my entire life./

Not counting the very moment which he had to tell that story to his boyfriend.

He heard Levi relay it back, thankfully containing his laughter; /Blood, piss, tears./

Seconds later, Armin received his confirmation text. 

"She suspects you've told him this story."

"Oh fucking /come on-/"

"We'll do another one."

The first question already killed him, how much worse could it get?

Awkward pause. 

Hell, his window was dirty...

"Okay, next question," Armin was stifling a laugh. "What's your favorite pair of boxers?"

"/Are you ser-/

"This is going to be great," he giggled. "Tell 'im, Eren!"

/Is it those green ones?/ Levi joked. /Those were awful pretty on you./ 

Way to rub it in. He might as well gather them together and outline every embarrassing moment in his entire life. 

/My Simpson's ones,/ he admitted. /They're vibrant./

Levi relayed. 

Armin read the text out loud. 

"'I think I just confirmed all our suspicions.'"

Oh, great, his sister and his best friend suspected his sex life. Not that there even was one. 

"Okay, she texted again," he was making no effort to hide his laughter now. "'What's your favorite song?' She said you'd-"

"I'm going to /kill her!/" He screeched. He reached to open the door but Armin grabbed his wrist. 

"Aw, c'mon, she says this would guarantee it. It can't even be too bad. It's just a song."

Eren thunked his forehead on the window, shrinking in shame. 

"You don't understand," he whined. 

/Eren. You are being ridiculous, how bad could a song be?/

/Awful./

/Eren./

This window was /really/ bothering him...

/Eren, I don't care if you listen to Spice Girls. Just come out with it./

He sighed. 

/I really like the SAO II intro./

Levi was confused, but relayed the information. He heard Mikasa gasp through Levi's perspective. 

/What the hell is SAO II?/ Levi could not care less about anything else right now, except that this thing was oh so embarrassing, but Eren shushed him for now.

Armin's phone rang, and he picked it up. She started talking immediately.

"Armin. They're not kidding."

"I know. I can tell."

"What do we do with this information?"

"We watch them very closely," Armin winked. "Only joking. It just explains a lot."

"Come back inside now," she said. Armin hung up, and they all met back up inside. 

As Eren was slipping off his coat, he caught Levi's eyes. He looked too smug for his own good.

/You’re the worst./ 

Levi laughed out loud. /Hey, kid, I didn't do anything! Besides, I don't even know what SAO II is. But you'll definitely need to show me these Simpson's boxers of yours./

Armin raised an eyebrow at Eren's sudden expression. 

"What're you two talking about?"

"Nothing!" Eren shrieked. 

Mikasa smiled warmly at the two. 

\-----

/Levi's POV/ 

Eren had convinced Levi to watch some cartoons with him after the house emptied that day. They were lounging on opposite sides of the couch, facing each other with their feet together. Eren was absentmindedly using his feet to play with Levi's toes while his eyes were glued to the screen. 

Frankly, Levi could not care less about this 'Courage the Cowardly Dog.'

But the unnecessary concentration and innocent interest portrayed in front of him was something to stare at, in his opinion. 

He randomly wished he could draw, so he could sketch these kinds of moments. He looked at at Eren with a more artistic view; the many directions of his hair, the curve of his jaw, how he sat so lanky and unnatural in his body- just a teenager thing, really. 

Ah, but he knew someone who /could/ draw. A special someone he'd rather neglected lately. He wondered if she had gotten his gift...

Maybe she could draw Eren for him. That would be neat. If she was as good as Hanji said, he'd get on his knees for that kind of favor. Okay, maybe not, but it'd be nice. 

She'd need a reference. 

The light of the TV bounced around Eren's features, painting odd shadows. He pulled out his phone, and nudged Eren's leg for his attention. 

/Hold still,/ he said. Eren only grunted, as if he was moving anyways... He turned the flashlight app on, and used it as light for his camera. Eren scrunched his face in disgust. 

/What are you doing, that's too-/

/No, no, go back to what you were doing. Just sit and look pretty./

Eren blinked a few time, but was back to his show in seconds. Levi waited until his features were softened again, and took a few pictures. 

/There we go,/ he kept the camera up. /You're so pretty, Eren./ 

While the flattery crept up to his ears, he snapped a few more pictures. Eren huffed in mock frustration and batted his phone away, but he was smiling. Levi chuckled at him, and turned the camera and flashlight off. 

He was going to get diabetes from these sugar blushes. 

He opened his messages with Isabelle, and smiled at the contact header. She had titled herself, 'King Sister,' when she put her number in. He never changed it, but it was frustrating sometimes when he was looking for Isabelle, while scrolling past the K's. 

He had taken twelve pictures of Eren. The first five were the portrait he wanted drawn. He erased the two blurry ones, and was left with three similar ones in good quality. The rest were of him blushing, smiling, and dipping his head in an adorable shame and oh, boy, this kid was going to be the end of him. 

He chose the first one to send to her, and added, 'Heard you could draw. Do me a favor, and sketch a pretty boy? I'll head by as soon as I get back to check it out. Miss and love you.'

She'd be excited to hear about his new boyfriend, she always loved new people. Well, new people that he actually got along with. She called them 'special.' Tch. As if he didn't get along with people, or something...

Sure enough, she texted back in seconds. Recently, she discovered emojis, and she used them frequently.

'Levi! A boyfriend!?' Insert heart eyes. 'You better not have been hiding this from me!!' Insert red face. 'He sure is a pretty thing. I could draw him in an angel's robe, to complete it.' Insert winking face, insert angel's face. 'I'll get him done, this'll be fun! I got your gift!' Insert wrapped present, insert heart. 'I love it! I've been waiting for this series for months! Really, I don't know how you got it, since it's barely released.' Insert cartoon question marks. 'But I'm glad! Thank you!' Insert several variations of smiling faces. 'I can't wait to see you Bro! I'll have to punch you for trying to stay away so long, but I might go easy so I don't ruin that grumpy face for your boy.' Insert winking face. 'See ya soon!'

/Whatchya smiling at?/ Eren was peering at him, surprisingly taking a break from the TV. 

/My sister texted,/ Eren perked. /I told her about you; she's pretty pumped./ She's also drawing you, which you'll understand later, he added behind a little wall, just out of Eren's reach. /Is she doing okay?/ Eren asked cautiously. He understood Levi's sensitivity to the situation, and didn't know how to approach it. /Ah, honestly, I'm not sure any more. But she's strong. She's pulling through,/ he shrugged. Sure, he loved her, and he was proud of her, but he didn't want to play therapy right now, and Eren was completely okay with that. He smiled. 

/Cool, good./ and went back to the TV. 

Levi checked the date, and realized he’d be leaving in two days.

What a shame. He was having a good time here. Oh, well, he put his phone away. He’ll just think about that in two days. What do they say, ‘cross that bridge when you get there’? Easy enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay there were way easier ways to prove their little secret but I was having fun


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!  
> I've been so so so busy with school! This is my first time in a dorm, and it's been crazy! But I finally got this computer booted up, and I'll be back on a role again. Enjoy some cute boyfriends!

/Levi's POV/

Throughout the next day, Levi grew more and more anxious. He even had some tea with Hanji, Erwin, and his family, but he felt in a rush. 

That made him feel guilty, because the whole reason they had come here was to visit his parents, and he'd been with Eren most of the time. Erwin assured him it wasn't a problem, and his parents didn't seem to mind, but he felt like he was being rude. 

It was the night before the last day, and he was on edge. He had drank a whole pot of coffee that Eren had made for him, but he couldn't quite relax to his normal calm. There was no reason for him to be like this, he knew. It's not like he'd never see him again, he was an adult; he could drive down anytime. Well, anytime he didn't have work. Which was never...

Ah, there was the anxiety again. 

Right now, he was walking around aimlessly in the kitchen, while Eren was sleepily eating a bowl of cereal. He was fighting a losing battle to bat the kitten away from his snack. Why was he eating cereal? He just ate dinner. Three servings of it. Why was he still hungry? 

/I'm not, actually,/ Eren sighed. /I just really like this cereal, but now I'm too full to eat it./ 

He looked unreasonably sad. 

This was so confusing. 

/Why're you stressed?/ Eren laid his head on his arms. /I can feel it, maybe that's why I'm full./

/I'm not stressed, don't worry-/

/Hey, don't try that with me,/ Eren became serious now. /I can literally feel your feelings./

Oh, duh. 

/I'm just- Well, I'm worried... I leave tomorrow./

/What are you worried about?/ He cocked his head. 

He instinctively slammed his walls up. He didn't want to make Eren uncomfortable, or stress him out. Why was /he/ calm? Did he care? 

Okay, maybe that was a stupid question. 

Or maybe not. 

He glanced at Eren, waiting for him to fess up. 

"I'm worried because I'm leaving," he blurted. "I won't be able to see you for who the fuck knows how long, and it's stressing me out-"

"Levi," Eren waved his arms. "We can literally visit each other in our dreams. You can see me every /night./"

His mind went blank. 

/Oh./ 

/Duh./

He released a long, relaxed breath. 

All the anxiety left his body, as if he found out that, No, his elementary teacher didn't actually call his mom after he got into the fourth fight that week, and he was home free. 

He quietly chuckled, which grew harder and harder, until he was laughing out loud, bent over, holding on to the counter. His face felt unnaturally stretched, not used to such laughter. Eren was grinning, shaking his head. His walls went down, and he had the urge to just kiss Eren right on the mouth-

/Oh, my gosh-/ Eren snorted. 

/That face isn't helping, dear,/ he smiled. 

Eren leaned forward on his elbows and scrunched up his whole face, pursing his lips in a grossly scrunchy way. 

/How about this one?/ He joked. Levi took the bait, and planted a light kiss on his thrusted lips. Eren didn't expect it, and shrank in surprise. 

"Wow!" He laughed. "I can get you to do anything when you're in a good mood!"

"Don't get cocky," he joked. 

"You said cock."

Levi winked, sending Eren into a fit of giggles. 

He could visit him every night. He could spend every night with Eren, in any environment he could dream up. That was a reassuring thought.

/You know,/ Eren had continued eating his cereal, and was speaking with his mouth full now. /Speaking of that, I think you need to up your game on these dream scenes./

Levi raised his eyebrow. /Oh?/ 

He sagged around his spoon as he talked. /Like, seriously, you could do anything, and you stick with that bench on the road./

/Hey, I rather like that place./

/But Levi, anything. You could come up with a water park. I fricking love water parks. Or a giant slide. Like, huge. And I can't get hurt when I fly off the bottom, because duh, dream logic... according to the movies anyways. Maybe we should test that out first./

/I'll punch you in the gut next time, to see if you can feel pain./ He had been joking, but Eren nodded seriously, taking note of it. 

/Right. But, water park. Also, I really want to go camping. In a forest. We should go dream-camping, in a tent and everything. And it'd be great, cause the weather would he perfect. Maybe you could do smores, of food works... I wonder if I would gain weight?/

Shoot him dead if this kid ever gained anything from eating. He was a monster when it came to food. 

/Levi!/ His eyes widened, he smiled in excitement. 

/Hah?/ It's not like he went anywhere, jeez, kid...

If there was telepathy-shouting, this was it.

/We could make a castle!/ He threw his arms up to size up his speech. /Huge! And make little people for it, and we could rule it! It could be a game, we could go to war and kill people and they wouldn't even be real!/

...He really was dating a child. He didn’t know if he coulld even make people. What if they rebelled or something? He’d have to create a whole government system. Would they need that, if they were NPC’s? What if he accidentally messed them up? Jeez, playing God for his stupid needy boyfriend. He smiled, and reached across the counter to ruffle his hair. Eren shrank down and smiled like the cutie he was. 

"Let's go to bed, kiddo," he said softly. Eren drained the rest of his cereal, and jumped off the stool to rinse his dish before leading Levi up the stairs. 

His room was considerably tidier, since Levi had been in it so much, Eren had taken the liberty to make it a more comfortable environment. There were no clothes, pop cans, dishes, or anything of that sort littering the floor, though there were a couple plates on his desk. But the closet door was actually closable, the drawers to his desk were where they belonged, and, Levi’s personal favorite, the bed was made.

/I am so proud,/ Levi said sarcastically. Eren rolled his eyes.

/Yeah, yeah, whatever./

It was cold in the room, and goosebumps trailed up Levi’s arms. He was wearing a sweatshirt and thin sweatpants, so the floor was turning his feet icy. The curtains were wide open, but Eren leaned over the bed to slip them shut. He was dressed in less than Levi, in a T-shirt and weirdly short running shorts. He was probably toasty from his own body heat. Did Levi produce that much heat as a teenager? Was it a kid thing, or an Eren thing?

/It’s a man thing, actually,/ Eren grabbed a folded quilt from his closet to spread on the bed. /Your lack of heat is probably due to your lack of height./ He snorted, his face turned away. Levi grunted at him.

/Rude, Eren./

When the bed was covered, he walked around the room to put a few things in place- his phone on the charger, his lamp turned off. 

/I’m only joking,/ he said. /You’re totally muscular, it’s probably just your black heart./

/Rude, Eren, rude!/ He shook his head, smiling, and pulled back the covers.

/Since I’m so /cold/hearted,/ he continued. /I’ll take the wall side tonight./

/Aw, no fair./

/Someday, when you’re an old man as I, and you lose all your body heat, you’ll learn that life isn’t always fair./

Eren laughed. /Fine./

He slipped under before Eren, and scooted over to the wall. It was cold at the moment, but perhaps it would warm up-

"Unh!"

Suddenly Eren landed harshly on top of his stomach, knocking the breath out of him. 

/I didn't say I'd give it up,/ Eren wiggled around until he was nose to nose, toe to toe. Well, besides the fact that his toes were a good deal farther from Levi's, but that wasn't important. 

/You're so obnoxious,/ Levi said. /I can't sleep like this./

/I could!/

/You could sleep on the kitchen counter if you fit up there,/ he joked. 

Eren laughed through his throat. /Been there, done that./

Levi laughed a bit, at the same time Eren went to sneak a kiss. He ended up smooching his teeth. 

/Smooth move, Eren./

/Hush, hold still./ 

He relaxed more now that he could breathe again, and settled in that zone where the weight on top of him was actually comfortable. Also warm. Eren's stomach and neck was absolutely radiating heat, and it felt wonderful. Eren was propped up over him with his elbows by his ears and his hands on his hair, while Levi's hands had come to rest on his back.

They stopped talking, though it was only mentally, to enjoy the silent noise of their surroundings. They heard each other breathe through their noses, similar to the wind outside. There were no crickets, for once, but the occasional car let them know there was still life outside. 

They just looked at each other, quietly studying each other. Eren would dip down every minute or so to place a kiss somewhere on Levi's face; his nose, his eyes, his lips. It was sappy and somewhat strange, but Levi found himself enjoying it, to say the least. 

Suddenly he felt a wave of emotion over him, which surprised him. He thought it was his, because it was similar to what he was already feeling, but Eren's sigh revealed that he was the one who was overwhelmed.

The boy snorted. /Sorry, I just... I just really like you right now./

/Only right now?/ He feinted hurt. /What about all the other times?/

/Ah, no- You know what I meant, jerk./ Moment ruined, he rolled over to his own side, dragging the blanket with him. Levi inhaled sharply through his teeth,

"Ah, asshole, I need that."

Eren peeked out from his burrito of blankets. /But I need it./

/You have them wrapped around you, just share, damnit./

A few one sided giggles later, they were both under the blankets. Eren reached his arms out for Levi to roll into, but he glared like they were sour eggs. 

/You don't deserve it, punk./

But in the end, he couldn't say no to that face. 

\-----

He woke up early the next morning, anticipation in his stomach. He didn't even feel tired, thought it was before sunrise. 

A look at the clock told him it was 4:40 a.m.

He was crushed between the wall and Eren, who had unconsciously decided the wall was /his/ side, and he was going to he as close to it as possible, even if it meant squeezing Levi. Well, at least he was warm. 

Eren was on his side, his right arm thrown possessively around Levi, and his cheek resting on Levi's head. His mouth was slightly open, and dear God if he was drooling in Levi's hair...

He felt that cottony feeling in his mind, which he hadn't felt in a while, due that he had usually been sleeping the same time as Eren. It almost calmed him down.

He remained there a few minutes, but he started to get bored. Besides, Eren's hot breath on his head and the overwhelming worry there was drool in his hair was not exactly comfortable. He should probably shower. 

He, also on his side, started to roll against Eren in attempts to get up, but the kid decided to fight him and roll against /Levi./ He pushed Levi forward on his stomach, and was mostly on top of him. 

This was not working. 

And there was definitely drool in his hair. 

He remembered to speak out loud, "Eren," he whispered. No response. 

He prodded him with his fingers. Was he a heavy sleeper?

He spoke at a normal volume this time. "Eren, wake up."

No response. 

Levi buried his face in the pillow and released noises of frustration. 

He lifted his head back up, slightly sweaty despite the cold in the room. Eren was /heavy./

"Eren, kid, if you don't get up-" 

He felt the fog in his head waver, and start to weaken. Eren breathed deeply, that 'what-huh-I'm-awake' kind of breath. He wiggled around a bit, and decided he was comfortable where he was, but that was not going to fly.  
"Eren Jaeger get up right this instant I am going to pass out."

He jerked up and half-sat up. "Wha- Levi? What are you doing?"

Free to move, he got up and rolled off the bed. "Taking a shower, now that I'm free from the beast's clutches."

"I hope that's not me," Eren yawned. 

"Hope away, dear."

He surveyed the room, but realised that he hadn't planned on a shower, and had only brought his pajamas along with his day clothes. He could just wash his hair... but he really did need a shower...

Eren shuffled back under the blankets, and splayed out to half-heartedly reclaim his side of the bed. Levi stood awkwardly by the bed, deciding what to do, but it was so hard to concentrate with this /vile-/

/Just borrow mine,/ Eren was half-asleep, his mind filling with fog. /Dresser./

He squirmed internally, and glanced at the closet. His dresser drawers were all unclosed, overflowing with clothing. 

/Are you sure that's... uh,/

/They're clean, shut up,/ he replied. 

/That's not what I- Go to bed, grumpy,/ Levi shook his head. Okay, he'd pick a pair that looked the newest. One's that Eren hadn't really worn. He didn't want to be the pervert wearing his younger boyfriend's underwear... Except that's exactly what he'd be.

When he opened the drawer, he was disappointed to see that a., not a single pair looked used under twenty times and b., they were all sadly wrinkled and thrown in. He searched frantically, dying to get out of that drawer when he saw them. 

The Simpson's pair. 

The only pair neatly folded, tucked safely in the front corner of the drawer. He stared at them, and all he could think was Ah, yes, they really are vibrant. 

With a smirk, he plucked them out, and continued on his way to the shower. 

\-----

/Eren's POV/

He woke up again while Levi was still in the shower. He heard the water running both through Levi's perspective and through the pipes in the wall. The sun on the snow lit up the room a little too much, forcing his eyes to only open a crack. He was a little warm, so he began to strip off the blankets and quilts.

When they were all kicked down to the edge of his bed, he rolled on his side to face the door, still sleepy. His body was aching from sleeping so long, and though he wanted to get up, his legs refused and he stayed where he was. 

Today was the day Levi headed back to his own state. He was disappointed, only that he couldn't show him off around his friends anymore. But he was grateful for their connection, so he would have to settle with that. 

He was also bummed that school would start soon. He didn't want to get back to all that studying. He had bragged about mostly B's, but the truth was, he needed quite a bit of help. Armin definitely knew so, and reminded him constantly. He cut Eren a little slack over the break, but once school started up again he'd really need to-

/Slam!/

The door burst open, rattling Eren awake. He quickly propped himself up on his elbow and squinted at the door before his eyes widened in ... awe? Or terror?

Levi was posing at the door, one hand against it above him and the other holding a bath towel slung over his shoulder. But the most notable thing was the lack of clothing, except for the pair of vibrant Simpson's boxers.

He stared, taking it all in without really understanding. His mouth opened and closed, his breathing rattled and confused. The only sound was the water dripping off of Levi's hair on to the floor.

"Wha- You... those are..."

Levi switched poses without cracking, this time swinging the towel so he was holding it on both ends behind his back, and standing with his legs shoulder-length apart. He stared at Eren, waiting for a response, but the only thing he could muster was shock. 

Finally taking his eyes off the underwear, he noticed Levi was /ripped./

His legs were beautifully toned, pouring up from his calves to the insides of his thighs. His torso stuck out a bit, rippling with abs, and the strain on his arms showed off his biceps, triceps, whatever else was up there. It all ran so smoothly together, so different from the muscles he'd come to fear on the massive bodybuilders. 

He was gorgeous. He was a total-

"Oh, my God," Levi pulled the towel over his face, and closed his legs together, blushing. Eren was confused. 

"Eren, I can see..." He started to laugh. "You have a... Put some better pants on."

Wha- Oh!

"Oh God," he crossed his legs over and hunched over. "Oh God oh no, oh no crap- I'm sorry I- You- Do you work out? Your legs are just-" He sat up, being more modest of his hormones. "Can I touch your legs?"

"Eren what the fu-" Levi jumped back into the hallway, away from Eren's approaching hands. "Wait, this isn't what I wanted to-"

"You started this, let me feel, they look so cool!" He cornered poor Levi in the hallway, his only defense a little white towel. Eren was still eyeing his legs. 

"Eren, let's be reasonable, this is totally inappropriate, you can't be serious."

"Excuse me."

Mikasa's voice sent both of their hearts to the abyss. They halted, and made desperate eye contact; a last connection before their execution. 

Eren turned around cautiously, an apology already on his tongue, but she held up her hand to stop him.

"I don't know what's going on, but one," she held up a finger. "That's Eren's underwear. Two," two fingers, and so on. "Eren's boner needs to go back where is came from," he squeaked, and pushed his legs together. "And three, you're getting the floor wet." She gave them both one last glare, a look that said, 'Watch it,' and turned on her heel. 

Eye contact was sparse that next hour.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed my username! I'm still kitteneaterbabybeater, except, well, I'm not. It was just so exhausting to type, you see, so I decided to revisit my first obsession. (Avatar is still my fave, honestly.) It's the same as my tumblr now. Easier to remember.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading!! Enjoy!

/Levi's POV/

He and Eren stood at the front door, Levi's small bundle of overnight things in his arms. The kennel box with a very grumpy kitten sat on the floor next to his feet. They looked away from each other, shuffling their feet and clearing their throats.

/Well,/ Eren started. /I mean, it's not really goodbye.../

/Right,/ the man smiled. /More like a, 'See you later.' But it's still got that feeling./

/Yeah./

Silence.

/Isn't this the part where, y'know, we kiss dramatically and the music plays and all that jazz?/

Eren laughed, and pulled him into a kiss, a hard kiss full of bumping teeth and smiling lips; hardly a kiss, really, while the two laughed through it. It was nervous, both excited and disappointed.

When they were satisfied, Eren held him in a tighter hug, knowing very well the slight difference between touching him in a dream and touching him in real life. He relished the feeling of his hair, the way his clothes fit his frame- His very muscular frame, he remembered shyly.

Okay, now was really not the time to think of Levi’s partially naked body.

/I'm never getting naked in front of you again,/ Levi responded to his thought of the earlier incident. 

/Hey, you'll regret saying that,/ they backed away from the hug. /You won't be able to resist me once I start working out!/

Levi picked up the kennel, securing it gingerly against his waist. /Working out? What, are you inspired or something?/

Eren beamed. /Yeah! I could totally look like you!/ He flexed his almost-biceps, arms out at a ninety-degree angle. /I mean, if I really tried./ 

He flicked the boy on the nose, causing his manly posture to recoil. /Concentrate on those grades first, and I'll even be your trainer./ He backed away to let Eren open the door for him, a little habit he picked up since he'd been with him. The cold air rushed in as he finished his remark. /Though you might just get horny every time I lift a weight, so I don't really-/

/Levi!/ He nudged him out the door. /You're so gross!/ He smacked one last kiss on his forehead, and sighed.

/Well, I'll see you./

“Hey!” Eren’s sudden outside-voice made Levi jump, his bangs falling in his eyes.

“What?”

“Promise you’ll be my trainer!”

“Promise? Like, twist our pinkies together and get all gooey and gross about it?”

But the smile on Eren’s face, and the look of determination in his features was just another face he couldn’t refuse.

“Sure, I promise. If, and only if-”

“Hey we said that in Geometry!”

“If and only if,” Levi ignored the interruption. “You keep your grades up to A’s and B’s.”

“You’re on!” Eren saluted, almost whacking himself in the forehead. Levi rolled his eyes, but he blew his monochrome cover with a snort.

Levi stopped on the passageway to the road. He gave Eren a soft smile, nodded, and turned away. 

He had hardly shut the door before he started to anticipate the coming night, when he'd go to sleep. 

\-----

He kept his walls up on the walk home, wanting to relish the feelings brewing inside him. 

He enjoyed the scenery around him as he walked. The trees, though bare, gave an eerily pretty mood. The sky was a light grey, and it felt nice on his eyes. (After all, it was hard enough with the glare of the white snow, he didn’t need the sun adding to it.) The snow outside hadn’t lost it’s glamour; the untouched, pure whiteness was unbroken except for a few tire tracks on the road. The sidewalk, though, had been cleared. Thank God, he thought, as he looked down at his simple walking shoes. He wondered if Eren had snow boots, or even a coat? Hell, he’d probably walk around in the cold anyways. 

He wondered if he thought about the boy too much. He could even picture Eren saying that. He pictured the smug look on his face, his smirk when he said, ‘Gee, Levi, I must really be something special for you to think of me all the time!’

God, he really did need to tone it down a bit with this kid.

So this was what it was like. This is what everyone talked about. He had never experienced it before. He remembered being confused in the past, when he thought he was head over heels with anyone he slept with. In the beginning, sure, he developed crushes for them. He was confused. He had thought, while he was propped over them (or lay under them, in rare situations,) he had thought, ‘This is love, right? This is what people do when they really like each other, isn’t it?’ 

But oh, how wrong he was. What he had with Eren... It wasn’t like the other kids he’d fucked with. That felt cold, and incomplete. When he woke up beside them, they were just a body; a distraction. They were a toy.

But when he woke up next to Eren, well, it made him feel like a poet. He thought of sunshine on spring leaves, warm and golden. He thought of fruit on summer days, sweet and refreshing. He was a loving blanket to be wrapped around him at night, and, he thought tenderly, a foolish white night to charge at the dragon in front of his tower. 

There were times when he wanted to throw him out the window, sure. There were times that their glares weren’t so affectionate, and a misunderstanding of each other’s tone brought on an awkward silence. But that was alright. They were both new to this. They were learning.

He was so happy.

\----- 

"Ah, Levi! Are you ready for another fun filled road trip!?" The moment he stepped on the property, she was already shouting from the porch. He sighed. Here we go.

He hauled all his stuff inside while she rattled behind him. 

"Honestly, my favorite part of any trip is the drive! It's so fun to look at scenery, and the gas stations are a blast!"

"Only you would like those filthy things," Erwin eyed her with his lovey-dovey expression. 

"But they're so fun! All the T-shirts, and candy, and I love those racks with the audiobooks! I get those sometimes, except I can't ever sit through them," she waved her hand. "They should make ones more interesting, it"s all old stuff only Levi would read- What is /that!?/" 

She had just now noticed the kennel, and was bending down to open it. Levi stepped not-to-hard on the hand bracing her against the ground, but hard enough to stop the hand at the lock. 

"I /just/ got him in there," he snarled. "If he gets out, you're on a one-way trip to the nearest slaughterhouse."

She pouted, but stood up. "Well, who's he?" Even Erwin bent down to peer through the caging, but the black cat was hard to see against the black kennel. 

He tried to maintain his threatening glare, but the memory of receiving Eren's gift softened him. He fingered a lock of his bangs while he spoke. 

"Well, ah, Eren got him for me. For Christmas."

Erwin and Hanji shared a look of visible shock, and gave him a suspicious look.

“You’ve never mentioned him before, yet you seem to have known him forever,” Erwin said. “How did you two meet?”

“Ah, well, we…” He had yet to make up an excuse for his immediate connection with Eren. He didn’t know how to explain it yet, but he didn’t want to lie to them…

Luckily, Hanji saved him.

“Levi lives secret lives, we all know that!” She winked at him. “We probably don’t want to know.”

He was reminded once again why he stayed friends with her.

Erwin laughed, unaware of their secret. He started walking around the house, double-checking their stuff was all gathered, and when he was out of earshot she said,

“You’re /so/ spilling the beans.” She wagged her phone in his face to make sure he knew how to tell her. He rolled his eyes and pretended to agree.

“You should get into something more comfortable!” She noticed his jeans and shirt. “Fifteen hours in pants? Yikes!” Hanji herself wore a bright green wife-beater paired with simple black basketball shorts. Her legs looked like they hadn't been shaved in months, but he was used to that, and decided to voice the bigger problem. 

"You're going to get cold in those," he pointed. She winked at him again, saying, 

"It's fun to have an excuse to cuddle the boyfriend!"

"I hope his hands stay on the wheel more than they go to you."

"No fear, he's a reliable man!" She puffed out her chest and scrunched her eyebrows in a sad impression of Erwin, "Ah, yes, yellow light, half a block away. I'd better start braking now; not too fast, lest you hit your head on the windshield! Better not-" 

Unnoticed by Hanji, the real Erwin had appeared behind her, and stared at her with false annoyance. She jumped a foot in the air when he spoke,

"I know I don't sound /that/ constipated when I drive." She laughed and smacked him on the arm.

"That's a Levi joke!"

They laughed about it as if remembering an old friend from old times- as if he wasn't standing right there. Fucking weirdos.

/Oh!/ Eren exclaimed in shock, making Levi immediately worry.

/What? What is it?/

/Oh,/ he laughed lightly. /You haven't really cursed like that in a while. In fact you haven't been cursing much at all lately. It just surprised me./

/You're turning me soft, kid./

/Hey, is that a bad thing?/ He could hear the teasing in his voice. /Soon you'll be able to talk to children!/

When was the last time he even talked to children? As expected, he didn't really mix well with them. He felt awkward,; too harsh, too stoic. He couldn't give them the false excitement they needed. Children were like plants. They needed sunshine from the adults, and water from their surroundings. They thrived on each other and everything around them. In that mix, Levi was pollution in the air. 

/Cool analogy,/ Mr. Oh-so-helpful commented; he continued. 

/You know, you're /my/ sunshine!/

He swallowed harshly at the same time he scoffed, and choked on it.

"Jeez, Levi, all this emotion you've been showing lately really has to be exhausting!" Hanji grinned. "You hardly ever crack a smile, but if I'm not mistaken, I think I see hints of those smiley-wrinkles on your eyes!"

"Smiley-wrinkles?" Erwin cocked his brow. "Aren't they called crow's eyes or something?"

"Crow's wrinkles?"

"Maybe crow's-"

"Feet! That's it!"

"Ah, yes, that's it. Levi, you've got crow's feet."

He frowned. "Sounds like a disease."

Hanji waved her arms in a downward arc, "Disease of laughter!"

He rolled his eyes and started gathering his stuff. He slung both straps of his outdoors backpack on his shoulders, drew the handle out of the slot on his suitcase, and tucked the kennel against his waist like a housewife with her laundry basket. When he had secured the kennel to his desire, they were all ready to go.

They hauled it all in the vehicle, and Erwin doubled back to receive a few more goodbyes and kisses, while Hanji persisted that he put on something more suitable for a fifteen hour drive. 

"Fine, okay, whatever." He threw his luggage in the back of the truck, and unzipped his bag to pull out the same outfit he had worn on the way- washed, of course. He dipped back inside the house to change, adding his second goodbyes and see-you-soon's as he went back outside. 

He had to admit he was more comfortable now, in his sweats. The body heat collecting in his clothes felt delicious against the cold air.

He slid into the truck next to Hanji, the kennel between his feet. The kitten was throwing a fit, mewling and crying like he was being punished, but a few gentle words and fingers through the cage to reassure the poor guy did the trick. Jeesh, this cat was easy.

He had a bottle of water and a little container of dry cat food to keep him satisfied through the drive. Eren had provided him with everything, even extra litter. They had agreed to stop every hour to let the cat pad around a little box of litter- not quite a full litter box but perfect for a road trip. They didn't want to risk an accident. 

The first two hours went nicely. He tended to his kitten's needs, making small, simple talk with Eren while Hanji and Erwin talked between themselves. It went nicely, that is, until Hanji remembered her music.

The rest of the ride was as hellish as the first. 

\-----

/Eren's POV/

"Wake up, wake up!" 

Eren cringed as the covers were ripped off of him, letting the cold air bite his bare chest.

"Wha-?"

"School today, didn't you remember? Of course you didn't, that's why I'm here."

He forced open his eyes to see Armin standing over him, fully dressed with his huge backpack on one shoulder, and a cup of pumpkin spice coffee in his other hand. The smell made him almost drool.

He looked comfortable with his grey scarf tossed around his light blue crewneck, and gloves to match. Eren remembered he hadn't done laundry in ages, actually, he wondered if there were even any clean-

"If he's not waking up, let me have a go at 'im!"

Armin turned to the source of the noise downstairs.

"Hush, Jean, he's up. Be patient."

"Ugh, don't let him see me like this. I'm in my weakest state," Eren groaned.

"Ah, Eren Jaeger, so vulnerable in his underwear; his only defense a few dozen quilts with flowers and polka dots."

"Also my mad muscles, am I right?"

Armin pinched his arm. "I don't know, are you right? Getting kinda flabby."

"Ouch, right in the pride." 

His friend laughed. "You don't have an ounce of fat on you, now get dressed!"

He sighed dramatically, not ready to go downstairs and see horse-face, much less the entire school body. His bed seemed to suck him in its warmth and security.

“Maybe I’ll call in sick.”

“Eren, you’ve already called in sick four times this year, and we’re not even half-way through.”

Mikasa popped in with a reminder there was school in exactly twenty-two minutes, and popped back out so fast that the black of her hair left a streak in the air. 

From the sound of the door shutting, she had left the three boys behind.

/Go on, Eren, you’ve had two weeks to be lazy. I’m looking forward to seeing those good grades./

/Good grades, more like good /grief/ this is the worst./

/What a shame. I was really looking forward to having one more thing to brag about of you./

His heart jumped. /You talk about me?/

/Here and there, maybe./

In the end, the thought of earning Levi’s pride was what shoved him out of bed and to the school that day.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I have a friend irl reading this now and it's weird. I tend to forget I'm showing this to real live people, haha! Thanks for reading, anyhow! This is probably where the plot really starts to move along, I think. Maybe? (Listen to this idiot, doesn't even know their own story, jeesh. As the tag says, bear with me here.)

/Eren’s POV/

“Oh, my God, Armin, if you don’t help me with this problem in like two seconds I’m literally going to scream.”

Armin held up his hand, motioning for Eren to wait, without turning from whatever he was helping Jean with at their three-person table. Eren didn’t actually scream… On the outside, that is.

/What one is it?/ Levi asked.

Though Levi had almost failed high school, his hard work to catch up had really paid off, as he was now able to help Eren with the same classes he himself had gone through. Eren had to remind himself to thank his sister when he met her.

When Eren was writing out the process of the math, Armin finished with Jean, and looked bewildered at Eren’s sudden understanding.

“How did you figure that out?”

“Levi helped me, I’ve got it now.”

Jean poked his nosy self around Armin and asked Eren, “What? Who’s Levi?”

Armin and Eren made eye contact that can only be made between those who share a secret, and only between those who are asking the other to make an excuse, with no excuse in mind. This kind of eye contact sounds a bit like, ‘Uh,’ and, ‘Shit.’

“Well,” Armin started. Eren interrupted,

“It’s my imaginary friend.” He pointed to his head, trying to sound as sarcastic as possible. Which wasn’t hard, considering he was sarcastic about 98% of the time.

Jean drew blank. “What?”

“Yeah,” Eren went back to his work inconspicuously. “I named my conscious. Gives me an excuse when I need to blame stuff on other people.”

Jean was silent for a few heart-pounding seconds, but the two finally breathed when he laughed and said, “Okay?”

That was close.

Armin slid his hand over Eren’s paper without really looking at it, an act that they had developed when they wanted to write something quick down for the other to read. 

He wrote in his small, thin writing, ‘Code name?’

Eren thought for a minute, erased his writing, and wrote in its place,

‘New name wouldn’t make sense. Same problem.’

Armin nodded, and erased the message.

‘I’ll think about it.’

Eren used one arm to block Armin, shoving him and his chair back a solid foot, and used his right hand to draw a giant, heavy, ‘K’ on his so-organized paper, just to be obnoxious. Armin’s high pitched, “Hey!” drew the attention of the teacher, and they were told to quiet down. But it was worth it.

Armin glared at him as he pulled out a clean sheet of paper, knowing that Eren knew fully well the paper was due at the end of the class. He also knew fully well, that Eren could not care less. But, being the good person he was at heart, he let Armin copy the rest of the problems after he had finished copying his own.

\-----

When he got home that day, Mikasa had left a note to remind him she was going to Annie’s. He tore it off the door, and tossed it in the trash. He set his backpack down, grateful that he had no homework in it. 

He noted the distant buzz of Levi’s thoughts, working hard in his office. Though his two-week vacation was well-earned, he had a lot of catching up to do from his absence, and he was staying late. He didn’t expect to see him that night.

Peeling off his jacket, gloves, and hat, he threw them by the door, knowing that Mikasa would tell him to pick them up anyways, but he ignored that. He plopped down on the couch, and was back to his usual daily routine; School, TV, bed, repeat. Except, he thought bitterly, if he was going to keep his stupid grades up, he might have to add ‘homework’ to that list.

He had a sudden feeling of loneliness come over him, and it brought him down. He had really enjoyed the presence of everyone for the holiday, and now, well, it was so silent in the house, he could hear the running water in the sink that he had forgotten to turn off this morning. (Oops.) He went upstairs to turn it off, but instead of heading back to the couch, he turned to his room, and that was when he noticed the piece of paper on his door. 

Thinking it was another complaint form his sister, he almost tossed it. But the long, careful script displaying his name with a heart stopped him, and he pulled the tape off carefully to read it. It was from Levi. He must of stuck it there before he left, how had Eren not noticed that? He read it;

‘Eren,

I hope you weren’t expecting a love letter. You’ll be sorely disappointed.

I stole your favorite underwear.

Love,

Your Levi.’

‘Your Levi,’ huh? He blushed shamefully. /My/ Levi, he thought. He’s all mine. That sounded awfully appealing… Wait.

He blinked at the paper for a solid minute, until he burst out laughing.

/You ass!/

Levi came out of his stupor. /Huh?/

/I have no underwear now!/

/Sure you do, you have loads./

/Looks like I’ll have to go commando./ He enjoyed making Levi imagine his nakedness any chance he got.

/That sounds really uncomfortable, have fun rubbing your balls on your jeans./

/I’ll send you pics,/ he was outright giggling now.

/I’ll get thrown in prison for underage pornography, you insolent brat./

/I’m almost legal!/

/When is your birthday?/

/Can we have birthday se-/

/Eren!/

He felt a torrent of Levi’s embarrassment before his walls flew up, and Eren was left laughing to tears.

\-----

/Levi’s POV/

God, this kid was out of control.

On one hand, he was shy, sweet, and a modest saint.

On the other hand, he was a nightmare. /Birthday sex?/ He was begging Levi not to even say the /word/ just a week ago. What had gotten into him?

Well, he wouldn’t say /no,/ really, after he was eighteen. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea, when he thought about it…

On second thought, he really had to stop thinking about it. He brushed sweat off his neck and brow with a tissue on his desk, and took a few deep breaths.

Be the adult here, Levi, at least until the other one is.

Checking the clock, he noticed it was 4:14, and he had 46 minutes until his appointment with Isabelle.

He said ‘appointment,’ because if he was a minute late, she would really let him know.

Since it took about 25 minutes to get to the hospital from where he was, he wrapped up his work quickly, and gathered his things. From the table he gathered his keys, a pack of gum, a pack of cigarettes, and a little wrapped gift for Isabelle, and started out the door. He had almost made it before Hanji wheeled around the corner, carrying more folders than was safe. Her mouth exploded into a smile when she saw him, and she tried to wave- as if he wasn’t three feet in front of her, God, this place was too small -and dropped the contents of two folders in the process.

“Levi!” She kneeled down to pick them up, and he too knelt down, reluctantly. “So great to see you, you’ve been so distant since the trip!”

He grunted.

“I mean, I know you’re so busy, but hey, lighten up! You gotta breathe a bit! When’s the last time you went outside?”

He grunted.

“Probably this morning, when you walked to your car- No, you have a garage. You didn’t even go outside to your car! Well, I guess you went from your car to here, but that’s like, a 20 second walk. Levi! You need to get outside!”

He grunted again.

“Hey,” she stopped him again when all the papers were together. “Where’re you going?”

He didn’t look at her, wanting to leave the conversation as soon as possible. 

“To see my sister.”

Hanji grinned even wider. “Awesome! She misses you, you’re always at work, you know, it’s about time you see-”

He walked out of the door, not wanting to be reminded of his constant guilt. She called after him, but he didn’t listen.

\-----

He hated hospitals. They were so void. Every day, so many people came in and out of them, yet they always looked and smelled the same. There was no sentiment, no memory of anyone. They were too white. Too sterile. Too emotionless.

He checked in at the counter, and led himself to her room. He knocked on the door, and heard an exhausted sounding,

“Come in.”

His heart ached, but it was nothing compared to how it hurt when she saw him, and her face lit up like it should have on Christmas day, when he /should have/ been here-

“Bro! How was your Christmas? Did you have a good time? Tell me all about it!”

She was wearing comfortable clothes from the hospital; a plain grey T-shirt and plain grey sweatpants. She insisted they were her ‘disguise,’ and helped her to blend in with the ‘territory.’ Whatever floated her boat.

He smiled, and sat on the chair next to her bed. He pulled the box out of his inside pocket, and she gasped.

“That wrapping is so pretty! For me?” She took the extended gift, but was hesitant to tear it’s beauty. The wrapping was simple; silver, fabric-y something or other with a pretty, dark blue ribbon. It had been a pain to wrap, but he had managed. He motioned for her to open it, and she carefully pulled it apart with her slender fingers. She exclaimed out loud at the contents.

After discovering just how much she liked to draw, he had invested in some real nice pens for her. It was a pack of 12, and they came in all sorts of sizes and drawing lingo that he didn’t understand, but the reviews were satisfactory, the company was strong, and from the look on her face, he had done something right.

“Levi, Levi, these are wonderful! I can’t believe this, I was just looking at these the other day! You’ve really outdone yourself, these are awesome! Can I try them now?”

He smiled at her, “Of course. I want to see you draw.”

She jumped slightly. “Oh! That reminds me. One pretty boy, coming right up!” She reached over the side of her bed and pulled out a worn looking sketchbook, a large one, at that. It looked about a foot wide and a foot and a half long. She flipped through it, and he caught glimpses of other drawings; Of Farlan, of herself, of popular people on TV, of himself. She finally stopped at the one she was looking for, and pushed it in his hands.

“Do you like it? I might have gotten carried away.”

It was done in pen- not as nice of pen as the ones he had gotten her, he noticed. -over pencil. It was the exact same picture he had sent her, except she had changed some things. The lighting wasn’t as harsh as the flashlight was, but fell across his face nicely as if they were relaxing outside. The drawing was much bigger than the picture on the phone, of course, so she had put much more detail in the features; his round eyes, his easy smile, his hair even looked soft on the paper. 

Her style wasn’t exactly realism, but a mixture of it, and a sort of cartoon that gave it a simple look. It was one of those drawings that you looked at, and thought, ‘Oh, boy, that looks easy,’ but as soon as you try it, it’s anything but. It looked easy, sure, but it was truly well done, and he wasn’t saying that out of favoritism. 

“I love it,” he breathed. “You’re pretty good- You’re really good, Sis,” he couldn’t stop smiling at her; his cheeks were sore. She beamed at his praise, and carefully tore the paper out at the dotted line. She handed it to him, and he took it carefully, not wanting to fold or wrinkle it.

“I’ll have to get a frame for it,” he said. She acted shy, but he could see she shone at that.

“Aw, you’re flattering me, it’s not frame worthy.”

“You’re right, it’s museum worthy.”

She laughed, “Right!”

He stayed with her until seven that evening, letting her talk, draw, and laugh until she was yawning. He could see she was getting tired, and decided it was time to go.

“You’ll visit me again soon, right? Sometime this week?”

He stood up, holding the picture proudly. “Of course.”

“Promise?”

There it was again, these dorky kids with their promises. Their world really seemed to float on sunshine.

“Promise.”

Then he teasingly tucked her in, against her protests that she wasn’t ‘five years old!’ He waved at her as he left the door, but as soon as he was outside, his happy mood ebbed away.

When he got to his car in the lot, after setting the picture down on the seat behind him, he decided to sit there for a while. He leaned his head on the steering wheel, closed his eyes, and tried to ignore the sickness in his stomach.

He noticed that she had changed a little. She seemed weaker, less able to laugh as hard as she used to, and when she punched his arm, it wasn’t as strong. Was it just her red hair, or was she paler? Speaking of her hair… God, he felt sick. The car seemed too hot, too small. He took a gasping breath.

Stay in control. She’s fine. She’d say so if she wasn’t, right? She was doing good. She had started treatment, was what she said. They would take care of her, that was their job. She would be fine. She would heal.

Right?


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Armin are my favorite... But I say that about everyone I guess. Oh, well, I love them all.

/Eren’s POV/

When he opened his eyes on that familiar road, he didn’t see Levi right away. He looked around, but the surrounding scene was the same as usual. Without Levi, that is.

The normal breeze had turned into a stronger wind, rippling his shirt and burning his eyes. He turned in a full circle, but he still couldn’t find Levi. He sat back down on the bench, hoping he would appear.

Something flashed at the corner of his eye, but the seat next to him was empty.

Something flashed back in front of him, but the air was empty, too.

“Eren.”

Levi’s voice was quiet, but clear, and seemed to surround him.

He started to feel sad, and almost panicked, but he didn’t really know why. Were these Levi’s feelings? There was nothing wrong, really. It was strange that Levi wasn’t there, but that wasn’t really a reason to freak out just yet.

And then, everything happened faster than he could take that back.

Suddenly, his heart felt like it was being weighed down; like he was about to visit his mother’s grave, and he felt it ache. It got tighter and tighter; he was suffocating. Now he really /was/ panicking.

He heard whispers around him, and he could barely make them out.

‘...Pathetic…’

‘...Helpless...Sick...’

Where were they coming from? They gave him shivers. They felt dark, and evil, but they sounded positively gleeful. They were enjoying this. Well, whatever /this/ was.

‘...Excuses...’

The air seemed to become thick, and solid. The sky was dark now. The bench under him got softer, and liquified, until he was sitting in a puddle of wood. The grass under him, once green and beautiful, was black, and dry. It stabbed at him, and oh, boy, he couldn’t breathe. The muck mixed with the grass, and he felt himself being pulled to the ground. He needed to leave, he needed to escape. He flailed his arms, reaching for empty air. Where was Levi? What was happening?

“Eren, wake up.”

He cried out, “Levi?” He was so afraid, tears flowed out of his eyes. He hadn’t felt like this since he lost his mother. Pathetic. Helpless. Was he losing Levi? Was he losing himself?

‘...Useless.”

Pain shot through his elbow when it struck a rock, and more appeared, as if responding to it. They rose from the ground, even under him, and they stabbed uncomfortably on his body. The sky itself was literally closing in. It was so cold, and empty. Yet it seemed solid enough to crush him. 

“Eren, wake up!”

Wake up? How? He couldn’t move, he couldn’t get up. He didn’t know how to wake up from these, it was always someone from the outside. The road in front of him was… Steaming? Thin, dark gray smoke was rising, until it became thicker, and it wasn’t until he felt the heat emanating from it that he realised it was melting.

‘...Needs you...’

‘...Always at work...’

‘Never there...’

The tar started to rise up, just enough to flood over. He was really close to the road, too close for comfort. It was only a few feet from it, but it flowed toward him like it was water. He tried to crawl away, but it was like trying to run on gravel. He was sweating, and breathing hard. He could hear his heart in his ears; he had to get out. He wanted out.

Wake up.

‘...Won’t work!’

Wake up.

‘She’ll die eventually.’

“Wake up!”

His eyes flew open once again, but this time, he was in his bed. His cool, solid bed, he noted.

He was still sweating, gasping for air. His knees and hands were shaking uncontrollably. He usually wasn’t this affected by nightmares, but, then again, they usually didn’t take place in his place of refuge.

/I’m sorry,/ Levi’s voice made him jump. If his heart pounded any harder, it was going to fail at 30 years young. /I’m very sorry./

/Was that…?/ He didn’t quite understand, but if Levi had lost control of the dream, then it was plausible.

/Yes. I lost control./ Eren could feel Levi’s fear; but it wasn’t for himself.

/I tried to go back to you, but I was stuck in another dream. I was hardly able to talk to you, but I managed to wake us both up. I’m sorry I let it go on so long./

Levi sounded completely washed out. His voice was full of exhaustion, and Eren felt sorry for him.

/Is something going on?/ He asked carefully. /Why did you have such a bad dream?/

/Nightmares happen,/ he said, but Eren felt the walls start to go up. /Let’s just go to sleep tonight. I’ll do some yoga to help relax me, right? Isn’t that what works?/

/Right./ As if Levi would ever do yoga. /You can talk to me, you know. I’m always here for you./

Levi paused, and Eren felt his uncertainty, but it vanished.

/I know. But I’m alright, really. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?/

/Alright, goodnight Levi./

/Goodnight Eren./

And he was shut out.

He knew something was wrong. Levi had been completely off lately, and they had barely talked. He felt that the man possibly didn’t want Eren around, but the bigger part of him hoped- and partially knew -it wasn’t so simple as that.

Should he give him space, or persist? If he gave him space, that might help him to relax. He might feel overwhelmed from Eren’s constant presence.

But what if he /needed/ him? What if, by giving him space, he made /Levi/ feel isolated? He couldn’t imagine putting Levi through that when he needed him most.

He flapped the blankets around to air them out, and shifted over so he wasn’t laying in his sweat. He was worried, but he didn’t want to try to make important decisions at 3:15 in the morning. He would think about it tomorrow…

After the test he didn’t study for.

He groaned loudly into his pillow. Tomorrow was going to suck. Royally.

\-----

Eren had come to several conclusions by the end of the school day.

First, in english class, he had decided that Levi needed him, and he would be as annoying as possible. 

But by second period, he had changed his mind. He definitely needed space. He was stressed, and stress caused nightmares, and Eren being part of the nightmare probably made it worse. 

Third period. That stupid dumb test he had guilt tripped himself into getting up early to study for. (In the end, though he was too stubborn to admit it, it paid off with a solid A.) When he started to remember the voices in the dream, he realised they weren’t about him. Maybe he wasn’t the problem. ‘Never there?’ ‘She’ll die anyways?’ Was this about- His sister?

At lunch, he was planning to move into Levi’s house.

Fourth period. How would he get to California?

Fifth period. Maybe he shouldn’t move right away. He would wait till Summer.

Sixth period. Okay, maybe moving wasn’t such a good idea. Would he be in the way?

And back to square one.

He had gone with Armin to the library after school, feeling in a confident enough mood to continue studying after he had rocked that test. If he kept this up, Levi would surely train him.

Armin hardly ever had homework, but the amount of studying he did on a daily basis gave one the idea that he was cramming for a final every single night. It was a little concerning, honestly, and what grew even more worrying was his caffeine intake over the past couple weeks. Mikasa was always keeping an eye on the coffee cup in his hand, and Eren felt she was going to say something about it soon.

They sat across from each other at their normal table in the back, mostly out of view from the librarian’s office. There was a large sign on the front door that clearly said, ‘Thank You for not bringing Food or Drink!’ But that didn’t stop Armin from bringing his coffee. Eren wasn’t complaining, as long as he was allowed to freely sip out of it, which he did frequently. (These Christmas coffees were a work of God, honestly.) 

Eren had his pre-cal textbook on his left, and some half-assed notes he had taken here and there on the right, which he was intending to fix up. Armin had said that going through your old notes was a good study habit, and Eren decided to try it.

As he reviewed his notes, he realised just how bad he was at paying attention; half the crap he’d written down was, well, crap. The formulas weren’t right, the copied answers were backwards, and most of the little ‘hints’ and ‘tips’ were incorrect. 

“How do you put up with me in this class?”

Armin smiled, without looking up from his own work.

“Faith, trust, and pixie dust.”

“Makes sense.”

He really wouldn’t doubt Armin was a fairy. His hair said it all.

After an hour and a half of faithful studying, their vigilant was broken by Jean strutting into the library, loud as can be. He threw his bag at the chair next to Eren, the zippers colliding loudly, and threw himself into the chair next to Armin, who was trying not to look too mortified.

“Jean,” he whispered. “Seriously. Quiet.”

Jean waved his hand, and didn’t bother to speak in a whisper. “Yeah, whatever, she can’t even hear anything in that office of hers. No way she noticed.”

Said librarian noticed very much, and glared through her little window.

“Well,” Jean avoided her gaze. “Whatever. What’s up, my boy?” He sifted through a few of Armin’s papers with a look of handling trash. “Do you ever leave this place?”

Armin snatched his papers back, and stacked them in a little pile away from him. “I’m studying for-”

“You’re always studying!” Jean reached over and promptly shut the textbook. Eren saw a look in his usually gentle eyes, that only a friend of so many years could see, one which Jean ignored. “Do something normal for once, go outside or something.”

Armin spoke very quietly, and it sent goosebumps running up Eren’s arms.

“Do something /nice/ for once, and leave, Jean.”

Even Jean, obnoxious Jean, was silent for a few seconds, before he huffed, stood up from his chair, and walked out, grabbing his bag along the way. Eren was speechless, gawking at the situation, but Armin was violently highlighting something on his paper, trying to ignore it.

“What just- Are you guys- Are you… Okay?”

Armin sighed deeply, sounding exhausted. He set down his highlighter, but when he spoke, he fidgeted his hands, and stared at his lap.

“Do you think I’m… Weird?”

“Weird? Like, weird how?”

“I just,” he crossed his arms over and layed his head on the table. Was he crying? He went on, “He keeps calling me weird. He says I should do ‘normal’ things, and have a ‘normal’ schedule and a ‘normal’ hobby. We were arguing last week, before Christmas, and he said,” He was crying for sure now, his voice cracked and almost gave up. He hiccuped, sniffed, and cleared his throat. “He said the reason I don’t have any friends is because I weird people out…”

Eren stood up as sharply as Jean, but Armin suddenly lifted his head and arms, waving at him to wait. 

“No! No, please don’t tell him, don’t start trouble. God, Eren, just let me talk without fighting somebody-”

“I wasn’t,” he said gently. “I was just… I was gonna,” he pointed awkwardly at the empty seat next to Armin, who nodded sheepishly. He walked around the table and sat there. He opened his arms awkwardly, and Armin awkwardly leaned into them. Awkward.

Armin wiped his nose on Eren’s jacket, and used it to smother his sobs. Eren rubbed his fingers around his shoulder-blades, the way he knew it would calm him down, and talked gently.

“Look, Jean is just a stupid boy with a stupid opinion. And so am I. And so is every other stupid boy in this world. But look at it this way. If you have 1000 stupid boys, and 999 of them admire you, for your smarts,” he poked his forehead. “For your cute giggles,” he poked his nose, and earned a said giggle. “And that heart that is way too big to fit in that little chest,” he poked his chest. “But only 1 boy who thinks you’re weird, what are the statistics?”

“Statistics of what?” Armin hiccuped. He was just starting to pull himself together, so Eren answered it for him.

“0.1% against 99.9%, right?”

“I guess so,” he said.

“Right. So when you’re using hand sanitizer-”

Armin laughed, and sighed a little, “What the heck?”

“- When you’re using hand sanitizer, and it says, ‘Kills 99.9% of germs,’ do you think of that 0.1%? No, you don’t. You just know that your hands are 99.9% clean and that’s good enough.”

Armin was smiling wide, and his tears were just faint little streaks on his face now. He wiped them off on Eren’s jacket again, and sighed a happier sigh.

“Where would I be without your analogies?”

A fleeting thought crossed Eren’s mind, but he snorted before he could brush it off. Armin asked what he was thinking about, and Eren said,

“We look so gay right now.”

Armin giggled, and whispered,

“But you said no homo.”

Eren knew the internet joke, and whispered back, “I lied.” 

They laughed, and pulled away from each other, snorting into their sleeves. The librarian had kept her distance up until now, but seeing they were back to their normal selves, she stepped out to hush them. They decided it was time to leave, and they picked up their things, all the while sporting dorky smiles and sassy expressions behind the authority's back.

 

Meanwhile, Jean was still pouting in his truck, letting it idle while he sat in his driveway, not knowing ‘his boy’ was already over it.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

/Levi’s POV/

Contradictory to his bad dream, he worked especially hard at work the next day, trying to escape the thoughts consuming him. He got more paperwork filled out than usual, and was actually left with nothing to do a whole hour before he was scheduled to leave.

When he shoved the last paper aside, he laid his hands flat on the table, closed his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. God, he was tired. He felt so guilty; it really sapped his energy.

When he and Eren had gone to their beds to connect, a small part of him had warned against it, but he was stupid, and told that part of him to promptly ‘Fuck off.’ He needed Eren. He was the rock under him, and his presence was what he longed for when he felt stressed. He had to figure out how to control himself, or, well, he didn’t know what he would do.

Keeping his walls up all day probably didn’t help, either. He decided he would go home, grab some groceries along the way, and when he was feeling relaxed- after a good salad, damn that sounded good. -he would let his walls down, and talk with him.

He slid out of his chair, and decided to pop in at Erwin’s office, just to kill time.

Erwin was working normally, fingers dancing blurringly at the keyboard. He hardly ever looked up when he was typing, but then again, he hardly made mistakes. Levi shuffled his feet a bit as he approached, making simple noise to warn of his presence. Erwin stopped typing and looked up, and smiled when he saw him. Levi pulled a chair over from the next office and sat in it, a respectable distance from Erwin’s work space. They sat in silence a few minutes while he continued to type; Levi really appreciated that about him. His understanding of silent companionship made him feel comfortable, unlike-

“Wow, looks like Grumpy the dwarf stepped out of his office! Is there a party or something?”

“Levi wouldn’t go to a party,” Erwin stopped typing and looked up to his girlfriend, towering over the desk at him. He smiled warmly at her. “If there was a party over here, he’d be somewhere across the building.”

He narrowed his eyes, having just been insulted three times in a row. “I’ve been to plenty of parties.”

“Like when?” Hanji challenged, but she didn’t let him answer. She shook her fingers through his nicely combed hair, patted him on the back, and walked around the desk to give Erwin a more higher rated greeting, which he averted his eyes from as he fixed his hair.

He noticed his hair was a little greasy- When was the last time he showered? He had passed out in his bed when he had gotten home… He’d gone to work the next day… And he skipped it this morning… Oh, God. The last time he’d showered was Eren’s- Who’s underwear he was still wearing, he remembered with a cringe. He’d have to wash these at least twice.

Hanji seated herself on the desk, and chatted to her heart’s content. Erwin continued to type, but this time with less intensity, and paused here and there to nod at her, or give his opinion on whatever she had come across that needed consulting on. Though he was hardly participating, she made sure to include him in the conversation. Well, she always did that. Whether he was glowering in the opposite direction, or pretending that he wasn’t listening when he actually was, she would always direct part of her speech to him, ask him questions, and never keep secrets in the chat.

Jeesh, he hated to admit it, but maybe he took her for granted a little bit. Maybe he took them both for granted. Just one more thing to add to his, ‘I’m a Huge Fucking Asshole’ list.

He stood up suddenly, surprising her and Erwin. He took their silence as an invitation to speak, and laid his hands on their shoulders as he did so.

“Do either of you have plans for this weekend?”

They both spoke at the same time, desperate to hear what he could possibly have in mind.

“No, I’m completely free, why?”

“Not if you’re planning something? What’s up?”

He gave his best smile, and made to leave. He spoke as he walked out the door,

“That cafe on the corner downtown sounds good, don’t you think? Saturday, one o’clock. My treat.”

When he left, they were so shocked, they had to inquire if he’d looked like he had a fever, or maybe his eyes were a little crossed? What had gotten in to Levi Ackerman?

\-----

By the time he’d gotten to the grocery store, he had firmly decided it was way too fucking cold for a salad.

He let his car idle in the parking space a moment, soaking the heated air into his clothes. He needed to figure out what to eat. He was craving something cleansing, but as salad was out of the picture, he needed something warm. Warm salad. No- What the hell? He couldn’t think straight when he was cold. Not that he was straight, anyways-

Levi, damnit, pull yourself together.

Soup! Soup, fuck, soup, he wanted soup. He wanted soup so bad he would get on his knees for it. He turned the car off, got out of the car, and walked as fast as he could through the entrance- Though it wasn’t much warmer, anyways. Grocery stores were so cold. 

He grabbed what he needed for his favorite soup- carrots, potatoes, celery, onion, green beans, beef, and all the broth and oil and various things he’d need. Then he checked out at the self-checkout- Bless the Lord Jesus for self-checkout, really, -and hurried back to the car as fast as he’d come in.

And that was how he shopped.

Two hours later, he was sitting at his kitchen table, in his pajamas, with a large bowl of beef soup, watching the local news. He hated the news. It was always the same thing. Some stupid event here, some idiot arrested there, some innocent died, car wreck over yonder; yet he watched it religiously.

As he ate, he felt himself relax. His muscles loosened, his head cleared, and he breathed smoothly. He wanted to let his walls down, but he didn’t really know what to say.

‘Hey, Eren, sorry for ignoring you all day, I felt like an asshole. Still friends?’

Right. Totally.

He was probably watching TV at that very moment, glued to some mindless cartoon. He hoped for his sake he had no homework. He wondered if he had taken his advice seriously. Would he really get his grades up, just to work out with him? Seemed like a lot of work for something so facile. Why did he want to train with him so badly, anyways? 

The memory of Eren cornering him in his underwear almost made him inhale his soup.

He decided not to think about that.

He gently let his walls down, not wanting to barge in too harshly, and gradually started to hear the conversation he was having with Mikasa.

“Who else has a key to the house?”

“Nobody!” She was obviously distressed, but he didn’t know why. He decided to listen and learn. “Nobody should have a key. Where is your extra?”

“It’s still under the stairs, I checked. You watched me check!”

“I know, but I just had to double-check.”

“You mean triple-check.”

“Eren, please.”

He felt Eren notice him, and decided to contribute before getting into the whole where-have-you-been thing.

/What’s going on?/ 

Eren wasn’t as stressed as his sister, just confused. /Well, someone came in our house, ate a bowl of cereal, and left the empty dishes and box on the counter. We don’t know who it was. We asked Annie, Armin, and even Jean, but they were all somewhere else./

/Was anything stolen?/

/No, that’s the weird thing. They just ate a bowl of cereal and left./

/Do you eat cereal in your sleep, Eren?/ He teased.

/I was at school, Levi,/ he mocked his tone.

/Mhm./ That really was weird. Could it have been a family member? No, their dad was out of state, or something-

“Oh!” Eren instinctively spoke out loud, scaring Mikasa. “You’re right, that was probably dad.”

“What?” Mikasa gave him a weird look. “Where the hell did you get that?”

“Oh, Levi thought of it.”

She looked at him blankly, and then scoffed, a hint of a smile on her weary face. “I’m going to really have to get used to this.” She relaxed, and as Eren watched her sit down, Levi began to notice just how freaked out she had been. He hair was all funky, having run her fingers through it several times. Her scarf was still on her neck, but undone, and just hung off both shoulders. She was red in the face, but it was gradually disappearing, as she pulled out her phone and accessed her contacts. He could see the name, ‘Dad’ was starred as a favorite, along with ‘Eren’ and ‘Annie.’

She pushed ‘call,’ and he picked up within seconds. 

“Hello?” She asked. While she listened, keys jumbled at the door. She leaned over the counter to see the door as she talked, “Is that you? Did you eat cereal in here?”

The door flung open, and the homely, familiar voice they loved burst out, 

“Honeys, I’m home!”

Levi felt Eren’s burst of excitement over his father coming home, and smiled to himself. It made him miss his own father… But he didn’t want to think of that. It wouldn’t do to ruin Eren’s moment.

There were hugs and hair ruffles and smiles all around, as they greeted each other and tried to say everything at once. They chatted a few minutes, trying to let the others talk, but bursting to talk themselves. Anything new? How’s family? What’s the weather been like? Finally, Eren pointed out the bowl in the sink.

“Hey, dad, you didn’t warn us! Mikasa was gonna blow a fuse over that bowl.” 

His father laughed, a warm laugh that echoed in the empty hall. “Sorry about that, I got here a few hours ago, and I was starving after the flight. I ate some cereal, and went grocery shopping. I was going to surprise you guys. How does corn beef and cabbage sound?”

Mikasa and Eren both made sounds of pleasure at corn beef and cabbage. He laughed again, “Then come help me pull out the groceries!”

The two siblings, happy as they were, couldn’t help feeling a longing for the missing puzzle piece in this family picture. But they made the most of it, and as they cooked, they did well to fill in their mother’s place; dancing around each other in the kitchen, remembering the steps she took, and cherishing them.

\-----

 

While Eren and his family cooked, Levi continued to eat his soup. Three servings of it. He was starving. And cold. 

He tuned them out, knowing they were having a good time, and continued to watch the news. A knock at his door came just as commercials started, and he quickly muted it to answer the door.

When he opened it, he was barrelled over by someone much larger than him, and before he could even welcome the stranger, they had thrown their coat down, and was in the kitchen, helping themselves to a bowl of soup.

“Hey, this smells good, I’m so cold. I’ll be staying a couple nights, hope you don’t mind.”

Levi shut the door, and said exasperatedly, “No, Farlan, you’re always welcome. Just try not to murder me with your over-sized feet next time.”

“Sorry about that.”

Farlan looked as cold as he complained, still wearing his gloves with his light green sweatshirt. His skin on his neck and face had that blotchy complexion, and his lips quivered with cold as he bent over the stove. His hair stuck out awkwardly under his baseball hat, and flared out in all directions. After fumbling with the ladle in his gloved hands, he carefully transported the bowl from the kitchen to the table, looking excited, like he was opening a present. He loved Levi’s soup just as much as Levi did, if he was honest.

“So,” Farlan was hopeless with table manners, as he talked with his mouth full of vegetables. Levi looked away in order to sustain his appetite. “How’s it goin’? How was your trip?”

“It was enjoyable,” Levi joined him in eating. “His parents are doing well, and Erwin seemed more relaxed. God knows he needed it, with all that-”

Farlan interrupted him with a barking laugh. He whacked his spoon on the glass bowl, and said, “You know that’s not what I’m talking about! I wanna know if what Hanji said was true!”

He narrowed his eyes. “Depends. What did she say?”

He winked, providing no answer, but Levi went on anyways. “Can I have a relationship without it going global?”

“As if you’ve ever had one at all. This is exciting, humour us!”

Touche.

So he told Farlan a bit about Eren, slyly avoiding any details about how they met, and going straight to the cold facts. Yeah, he happened to come across him on a walk through the Main Street. Yeah, he spent a few nights there. Yeah, the cat sleeping on the couch was from Eren. Simple things, not a big deal, really.

But soon he got carried away, and he was telling Farlan about all the stupid things, like, Wow, this kid never stops watching TV, you’ve never seen anything like it, and, Oh, boy, you know how hard it is to wake him up? Sleeps like a hibernating animal, I tell you. Also, he has a pout like you wouldn’t believe! Can’t even deny this kid a bowl of cereal without him working up a tear. And on, and on, and he didn’t realise it, but this is exactly what Farlan had been looking for; what everyone had been waiting for, to see the faraway look in the man’s eyes, to see him talk with his hands, to look for words he could only feel. This is what everyone had been waiting for; for Levi to find- well, whatever this was. And it looked like it finally happened.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, yikes, sorry this one took so long. Do you guys hate me? Well, after this chapter you might, hah. Sorry. 
> 
> I cried while typing this one.

/Isabelle’s POV/ 

The hospital was quiet at this time of night- Well, morning, she thought, as she looked at the digital clock displaying 2:14 a.m.. The machines that had unnerved her in the beginning were only background noises now. She remembered better ones. Birds outside her window, resting in the rustling trees. Cars crescending near, and crescending away. The wind in the leaves. She used to leave her window open at night, letting Mother Nature sing her lullaby. Levi would always complain about the cold- Because, according to his logic, if /her/ room was cold, /all/ the rooms were cold. -but she did it anyways.

She smiled softly at the thought of her big brother. She missed him. He visited as often as he could, she knew, and that made her glad. And when he wasn’t visiting, Hanji was there, telling her the latest Levi-gossip at the office. She remembered the conversation they’d had about him just the other day;

/’And then!” She’d said. Finally, after the tenth pen, one finally hit him!” She laughed, smacking her hand on the bedside table and sending a couple ‘Get Well’ cards to the floor. “He was so mad, oh, boy. When I went on break, he stole all my pens and pencils. He even found the ones I hid under my keyboard!”

“Did you get another one?” Isabelle was red in the face from laughing.

“No, I couldn’t even persuade Erwin to give me one. The whole office said I deserved it for ‘interrupting him.’”

“All he ever does is work! One interruption wouldn’t kill him.”

“The way he acted,” she winked, ‘interruption was worse than death.”/

It was 2:17 in the morning.

She heard a man walking down the hall, his fancy shoes clacking toward the door. She hoped he didn’t come in. It was useless to pretend she was sleeping, they always knew when you were faking it. His steps grew closer-

and kept walking. She sighed in relief. Jeez, they were annoying sometimes. 

On the other side of her bed, the curtains were closed. She wanted to see outside. She wanted them open. She pushed the blanket off of her, and started to get up. As she stood, it felt like someone had kicked her in the chest, and she had to sit on her bed to catch her breath. She just wanted the windows open. That’s all.

She held on to the bedpost to haul herself up, which made it easier. The window was only a couple feet away from the bed, so with a lot of effort, she reached out, and yanked the curtains away. When she fell back on her bed, she felt accomplished.

It was 2:19 in the morning.

The city was alive as ever, with cars streaming through the roads below. She particularly loved this view, because of the road that crossed over the other, like a bridge. Lights shone from all buildings, creating a pretty yellow glow. She saw various groups of people, and even singular people, walking around. One group entered a store, and another turned the corner, disappearing. A shadow flitted around a light, and she smiled at the figures, walking hand in hand, avoiding sight.

It was 2:28 in the morning.

She layed back down on her bed, straightening the covers, and adjusting the pillows to elevate herself. When she was comfortable, she sighed a deep sigh, and continued to watch the city, like a scene in a movie. Someday, she would be out there. Someday, she would walk around with a group, buying anything from the store, because someday she would be able to stomach it. Someday, she would walk hand in hand with a boy, avoiding the streetlights, all for the sheer mischief of it. Someday.

But for now, she would wait in this little bed, putting on her best face for her visitors. They loved her. She loved them. She didn’t want to cause them stress.

Hanji. She loved Hanji. She always had something fun to say; always had something on her mind. She was always passionate, waving her arms around and punching the air with excitement. Isabelle smiled at the thought of her.

It was 2:32 in the morning.

Farlan. He was so kind, too kind to deserve this. He always brought her flowers; not the fake ones from the front desk, but the sweetest ones from the shop, full of life and color. She loved to draw them, and especially loved to ink them in with all her pens. She had a couple hundred pens just for this very reason; all the times she’d requested a particular shade of green, or, this purple is too dark, is there any a shade lighter? And he’d be back in a day with the perfect color. He tried so hard for her.

It was 2:35 in the morning.

Levi. Moody, grumpy, old man Levi. He sure was something else. He could knock any man on his feet, yet he always had trouble picking himself up when he made a mistake. He stood up to all confrontation, yet he couldn’t face his own fears. He forgave her no matter what- even when she locked him in her room that whole summer, she remembered with a grin -yet he had trouble forgiving himself. He tried hard, too, she knew he did. But he needed to try for /himself,/ too. He needed to fix himself, before he tried fixing other people.

It was 2:38 in the morning.

He said he’d be back soon. Hopefully this week. She glanced at her new books, the bindings still crisp. She didn’t want to open them just yet. She wanted him to start them off with his own voice. He was so funny when he read; he unconsciously switched voices for the characters, he snorted at the jokes, held back tears at the tragedies. It usually turned out to be more of a play than a book. And when he was done, he always cleared his throat, straightened his collar, and gave his opinion on whatever he’d just read. (Sometimes, they weren’t honest, and she had to remind him that yes, he was totally laughing, no matter how hard he tried to pretend it wasn’t funny.)

It was 2:40 in the morning.

Isabelle was wide awake now- jeez, how annoying. She reached to her side and turned the nearby lamp on. It was pointed to her lap, giving her the most convenient light for drawing or reading. Maybe if she sketched something out, it’d help her fall asleep. She reached down the other side and grabbed her sketchbook- a smaller one than what Levi saw, a more private one. This is where she kept the late night drawings, the tearful drawings, the drawings inked with feeling and thoughts. She grabbed a pencil, and started to shape something. 

It was 2:42 in the morning. 

She drew the outline of a head, neck, shoulders. As she drew them, she hated them. They didn’t show bones through the skin.

It was 2:50 in the morning.

She drew the facial features. Eyes full of liveliness. She hated them. Full lips; lips with color and volume. Oh, she hated them. 

It was 2:54 in the morning.

She drew the hair. It cascaded past the shoulders and curled gently, healthily. It wasn’t falling out. It wasn’t dull. She hated it the most.

It was 3:04 in the morning. 

A fat tear splashed on the neck of her portrait. The pencil blurred, and she knew the water would stain. Another, washing the shoulder. She looked away from it, as if it were a fear to be faced. She wanted to be her again. She wanted to have thick hair to brush and pull up. She wanted to pull her fingers away from it without them being decorated with loose hairs. She wanted healthy skin again. Healthy skin that didn’t attract the pitiful eyes of her visitors.

It was 3:08 in the morning.

She wanted to be strong again, but it seemed all she did was cry. All she did was lay in this stupid bed, doing the same /stupid/ things all day, only to cry her /pathetic/ self to sleep. 

It was 3:10 in the morning.

She tried to calm down. This always happened when she was tired. She was fine, she told herself. She was fine, she was fine. She tried to think of happier things. Wiping her nose on the blanket, she pulled up her larger sketchbook, filled with more lighthearted drawings. Hanji in a Wonder Woman costume. Farlan in an Aquaman suit, in a Spider-Man suit; he was a good model. Another Hanji, this one in a normal outfit. Levi in a suit, Levi in a Batman costume, Levi reading to her, Levi laughing. She was smiling by the time she was halfway through the book. She felt much better.

It was 3:22 in the morning.

She used her pencil to touch up some things; adding some shape here, an extra fold in the clothing there. Her eyes dried up after a few minutes, and by the time she was donning a cape to Hanji’s everyday outfit, she was almost giggling. She closed the book, and gazed out of the window again, this time with a smile on her face.

It was 3:35 in the morning.

Her eyes grew heavy, and started to sting from keeping them open. She glanced at her phone on the bedside table, and decided she would have to remember to text Levi tomorrow. Yes, she’d invite him to read to her. Maybe she’d invite Farlan, too. And Hanji! She’d invite them all, and they could all have a nice chat. That would be very nice. She’d text them all when she woke up. 

It was 3:38 in the morning.

She rearranged her pillows, feeling sleep come upon her. She laid on her side so that she was facing the city.

It was 3:40 in the morning.

She should try drawing landscapes, she thought. She mostly drew people, but sometimes she added a brief background. It would be nice to draw cities; inking in golden lights, splashing rain off the roads, towering buildings over the busy crowds… 

It was 3:45 in the morning.

She lost herself in a daydream of art, imagining how she would arrange the windows, how she would pour the crowds. Wouldn’t it be neat to draw a rainy night, reflecting the orange streetlights off the watery roads? How many shades of oranges and yellows did she have? She sighed in satisfaction, enjoying the scenery in her mind.

It was 3:52 in the morning.

Someone walked by her door again, but she didn’t mind, as she was asleep by then, gently breathing through her nose; she dreamt of paint.

It was 4:00 in the morning when Levi and Eren were chatting in their own world, unaware.

It was 4:00 in the morning when Farlan snored particularly loud, and almost woke himself up, unaware.

It was 4:00 in the morning when Hanji woke up Erwin to watch the sunrise, unaware.

It was 4:00 in the morning.

It was exactly 4:00 in the morning when Isabel Magnolia sighed her last, and was taken to somewhere beyond- blissfully unaware.

The machines came alive.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit I haven't actually worked on this in a long time, I've just been randomly updating every few weeks when it crosses my mind... (Remember when I updated every Thursday? Oops.)
> 
> I'll get better, I promise!!
> 
> Plus now a few of my irl friends discovered this so I guess I have no choice now wish me luck guys.

/Levi’s POV/

He got the call around 5:30 in the morning, when he was waking up for work.

They were sorry.

They offered him help.

They gave him phone numbers he knew he’d never call.

He hung up.

He didn’t feel anything. He knew it was going to happen. He had expected it. Everyone had expected it. But did that make it any less hard?

It didn’t.

He laid in bed for too long, and had to rush through getting dressed for work. He had to get on with his life, right? No need to sit around sulking. He wasn’t going to lose himself, no. He wouldn’t drop that far. Mourning was entirely different than sulking, and he was sure as hell not going to fall into the latter. 

He cleared his head, and thought about nothing as he drove to work. He was numb.

\-----

/Eren’s POV/

As soon as he woke up, Eren was in hell.

It was like being caught in a hurricane you couldn’t even see.

He couldn’t breathe.

It was like being fifteen feet underwater, and trying to inhale.

He was drowning.

Eren threw his blankets off to feel the cold- to feel anything besides what was going on. What /was/ going on? His chest was cramping, his lungs felt thick, and his heart felt like it was trying to crush itself; but that was hardly compared to the pain he was feeling in his head.

Something was wrong, something was /oh/ so wrong. His heart was telling him to panic, but his head said, Why? His heart was telling him to cry, but his head said, There’s no reason to. But he wanted to. What was going on? Was he dying?

He groaned, and immediately started to hyperventilate. He cried out at each exhale, crying out at the pain, at the sadness, at his own fear. He was lightheaded, he was shaking, and- His body was falling asleep, he could feel the tingling. He only panicked worse.

He yelled out now, crying openly for help. He had tears streaming across his face, soaking his pillow. He could hardly feel the bed around him, he felt like he was floating above it. 

He needed help, he needed someone. Where was Mikasa? Where was dad?

Where was Levi?

He blacked out.

\-----

/Levi’s POV/

He immersed himself in paperwork, working slowly, but steadily. He tried not to think. His chest was cramping, and it was hard to breathe, but he didn’t think about it.

He hardly noticed Hanji and Erwin sitting in his office, offering him a silent comfort. They knew, too, and they mourned. 

They loved her, too. They knew her, and talked to her; not as much as him, but they loved her all the same. They were sad, but they were keeping it together. He needed to keep it together, and later he could mourn.

He hadn’t allowed himself time to mourn; he couldn’t be lazy. He had to finish his responsibilities first, because this was the real world. This was the real world, and the real world didn’t care if you had something else to do. The real world wasn’t patient. The real world was cold, and unforgiving, and stole from you. The real world stole everything from you, right under your fucking feet-

Hanji handed him a tissue, to replace the paperwork he was staining with his tears. They let him cry.

\-----

/Eren’s POV/

When he woke up, someone was forcing pills down his throat. Was that a good thing? They were gross in his dry mouth. He decided to spit them out.

“Eren, please, they’ll help you.”

Oh, it was Mikasa. He swallowed them dry.

He felt unattached from his body, and for a moment, he didn’t even know what had happened. He was on the couch, in his livingroom. It was getting dark outside- No, it was getting light. Did that mean it was around 6 in the morning? What was going on at 6 in the morning?

Then he remembered; the confusion, which turned into fear. He didn’t remember falling on the floor, though. 

He opened his eyes then, and saw her kneeling by him on the couch, with a more than worried look on her face. His dad was sitting on the edge of the recliner, his elbows on his knees, staring at him with a sceptical look. Mikasa was the first to speak,

“What happened to you? I woke up and heard you, and I thought you were having sex or something, but when I went in there you were on the floor. Do you hurt? Dad said I didn’t need to call the hospital, but if you’re in pain…”

“I’m not in pain.” He had to make something up. He couldn’t tell her just yet, not in front of dad. He knew it was something from Levi. He felt the walls up, but he was sure of it. 

They were staring at him now. He took a deep breath- So delicate in his chest, compared to earlier. -and tried on a smile. 

“I had the worst dream, let me tell you. I woke up, and I was totally freaking out! 

Mikasa knew he was lying; he couldn’t fool her. She knew his every habit, tick, and trick. But their dad didn’t, and he sighed in relief.

“A nightmare, huh? Jeez, kid, you had me worried.” He looked at Mikasa then, “Does this happen often?”

He silently prayed, Get the hint, get the hint...

She made eye contact with Eren, “Well…”

Get the hint get the hint get the hint...

“Yeah,” she said. “It does. This is like, the fourth time.”

He wanted to hug her.

His dad smiled then, looking more relaxed. “You stressed or something, Eren?” He laughed. “You kids worry me, but I’m glad you’re able to work these things out on your own.”

Eren copied his smile, but his mind was racing. He had to talk to Mikasa. He needed an escape.

“Hey, Eren, let’s go check out your room upstairs, I could swear you pissed yourself again.”

“Hey! I didn’t-” Oh, duh, now /he/ needed to get the hint. “Okay, I needed to do laundry, anyway.” He hobbled off the couch, a little weak from his attack earlier. They shuffled up the stairs, into her room, and shut the door behind them. 

She immediately turned to him, an understanding yet curious look on her face.

“Well?”

He whispered when he told her, how he was just sitting with Levi, when all of a sudden, the dream ended, and just a minute later, he woke up with all these feelings; it stung here and it felt really bad there, and oh, man, it was freaky-

“You had a panic attack,” she said. “Lots of people have them, people with anxiety and things.”

“Oh,” but he didn’t have anxiety?

“But you don’t have anxiety.”

“Right.” Maybe Levi did, and it-

“Maybe Levi does, and it’s affecting you?”

He stared at her. Who was the one reading minds here?

“That would make sense,” he said. “Since we can feel each other’s feelings and all…”

But why was he so stressed? And why were his walls still up? Usually, he would apologize, and explain. For example, he had a particularly long day at work, or, sometimes he was just really tired, and it would rub off on Eren. 

He wondered if /his/ emotions ever rubbed off on Levi. When he was happy, did he ever get a boost? When he was awake and energised, did it ever pull him through his day a little better? Or was it a one way road?

He wanted to help him. He wanted to be the one he leaned on. He didn't want to always rely on Levi, but he also wanted Levi to rely on him. 

Would he ever be enough for that?

\-----

/Levi’s POV/

Farlan was at his house when Levi walked in the door, hunched over at the kitchen table. His face, too, was blotchy and red. When Levi came in, he sat up straight, and a sad smile swept on his lips. There were still tears decorating his nose.

He asked how he was doing; Levi responded with a shrug and a grunt. Farlan told him that he had taken care of all the legal information over the phone; Levi thanked him.

Farlan gave him the jist of it; they were holding her until her funeral, which, by the way, how did the day after tomorrow sound? Unless they wanted to invite others, then they could request she be embalmed, to give time for people to come. 

They spoke with short words, and gritted sentences. They looked as if they were dealing a house, and they felt as if they were weighing the world on their shoulders.

After an awkward silence, Farlan stood up, and motioned for Levi to embrace him, and he did gratefully. They stayed there in each other’s arms, trying to complete the one-third of their missing hearts.

\-----

 

/Eren’s POV/

Spending so much time in a person’s head made you forget there were other means of contacting them. Such as a phone, for example. Eren wanted to smack himself.

He picked up his phone and opened his messages with Levi, but when he opened the keyboard, he didn’t really know what to say. Was a text enough? Should he call him? A call would be better, if he wanted to talk. But on the other hand, a text would be better if he didn’t want to talk. Levi definitely seemed like the second idea, but he was also definitely the first-

Why was he always making these kinds of decisions?

Call or text, call or text… He smacked his phone idly on his thigh while he thought. He was sitting on the edge of his bed in his room, and though it was only six in the evening, it was already pitch black outside. He had his door open, and he could hear the TV going on downstairs. Part of him wanted to ask Mikasa about it, but how much could she really help? She hardly understood the man, much less the situation.

Call or text, call or text… Flip a coin? Come on, Eren, that was dumb.

He happened to notice a quarter on his desk.

Heads for call.

He got tails.

It was fate. The sky had decided, there was no turning back.

He thought for a moment, typed it out carefully, and sent it with a pounding heart. He set it on his pillow with the sound on high, wanting to be sure not to miss it.

He wanted to keep it simple, but he wanted to let him know he cared. It said, ‘Talk to me when you’re ready, but don’t forget I’m here.’

He turned on his computer, hoping to pass the time with some mindless games. He kept an eye on his phone.

/Please don’t forget me, Levi,/ he spoke to the thick walls between them.

\-----

/Levi’s POV/

‘Talk to me when you’re ready, but don’t forget I’m here.’

He got the text with his fourth bottle of alcohol.

Eren.

The lights in his house were all off, but the glow of his muted TV gave him just enough to aim his drink to his mouth. He refused to acknowledge what he was doing, but his guilt reminded him anyways. He told himself he wouldn’t rely on drinking. He wouldn’t become /that guy./ 

But tonight, he needed it. Just this one night. He just wanted to sleep tonight. Hard. He wanted to sleep without recollection of the day. However many bottles it took, so be it.

/Fucking pathetic,/ he told himself. /Put myself to sleep tonight, force myself awake with another cup of coffee tomorrow./

To prove his point, he finished off his fourth drink.

He opened a fifth.

‘Talk to me when you’re ready, but don’t forget I’m here.’

Well, he didn’t think nearly-drunk was a good time to text back. To be sure to be safe, he shut off his phone, and placed it face down on the coffee table in front of him.

He finally passed out after his ninth bottle, sleeping a mercifully dreamless sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh guess what time it is
> 
> ᒄ₍⁽ˆ⁰ˆ⁾₎ᒃ♪♬
> 
> Christmas is my favorite honestly my year revolves around the holidays
> 
> (This has nothing to do with my story but thank you all for reading anyways!!)

/Eren’s POV/

When he woke up for school, he had a raging headache. His heart pulsing was like a gunshot to his skull. He groaned, and practically tried to suffocate himself in his pillow. Nope, didn’t work.

Luckily, Mikasa had chosen that time to pop into his room, and she opened the door gently.

“Eren? What’s up?”

His voice sounded small when he said, “Headache. Bad.”

She nodded, and promised to be right back. He sat up in his bed, not bothering to remove the blankets, and sat there in his quilt nest like a baby. When she returned, she had a large cup of water, and several pills in her hand. He took them without question, and swallowed them all at once.

“The great thing about womanhood is knowing all the remedies to migraines,” she smirked.

“I don’t know if I want to understand that.”

“I could tell you,” she grinned deviously.

“Or not.” 

She left to finish getting ready, and he decided to do the same. Moving around was rather annoying, as the pills had not quite removed the headache, but sent it back; Like when you had different layers of digital art, and you sent something to a different layer. He was almost positive this was because the headache wasn’t his.

Dad had gone somewhere before they’d woken up, but he promised he’d be back by dinner. When Eren was jumping in his truck, Mikasa waved at him from the doorway, and yelled,

“What are you doing after school? Library?”

He rolled down the passenger window to hear her better over the engine. 

“Yeah, need a ride?”

“Yeah,” she shut and locked the door, and he opened the door for her to come in. “I’m almost out of gas, I’ll just chill at the library with you afterwards so you can take me home.”

“Cool.”

The drive to school was comfortable; they soaked in the heater, and listened to quiet foreign music on the radio. It was a habit to have music on in other languages when she was in the car, as they used to try to guess the language, and their dad would vote who was most accurate.

They pulled up to Eren’s usual parking space, and he shut the car off. They were still pretty early, and had a good 35 minutes before school started. The only other people there were most likely inside the school, studying.

On another good note, Eren’s headache was much more tolerable. He bet it would be gone by lunch time.

Mikasa reached between her feet to grab her bag, and straightened her coat and scarf before she got out. 

“Okay, so I’ll meet you here right after school, but I might be like, 5 minutes because I’ve got to talk to the chem-” Her face fell as she looked out the windshield window. “Oh, no.”

He peered over her, but he couldn’t see what she was looking at. “What? What’s going-” 

And then he saw.

Jean had someone pinned against the wall, way back near the shaded trees. They were kissing hard, one hand on his waist, and one hand holding his head. He was getting more into it than Eren would have ever liked to see, but what he noticed the most was the person who Jean was kissing.

The person that was not Armin.

He heard the sound of the car doors lock, and glanced at Mikasa to see her bracing to move.

“You are not going to hit him,” she spoke quietly and slowly. She was studying him, and they both knew very well she could take him if he tried to get out. 

“No, I’m not.”

“That doesn’t sound like you-”

“I’m going to /kill/ him.”

“Oh, that’s the Eren I know.”

There was a tedious silence, as Eren studied his own emotions. He was calm, but his heart was pounding. He wanted to act, but he had to try to think clearly first. If he got suspended, Armin would have to face Jean alone. Think of Armin, think of Armin…

“Oh, shit!” He pulled out his phone, and was calling Armin faster than he could read the contact name. Armin picked up on the fourth ring.

“What’s up?” His voice was chipper, God bless his sweet soul.

“Armin,” he tried to sound frantic, which wasn’t hard. “I left something at my house, where are you?”

“Oh, that’s alright, I’m pretty close to your house!” Mikasa was nodding at him, understanding the plan. “Whatchya need?”

“Uh,” he looked at Mikasa. She shot out,

“Tampons.”

Luckily Armin heard that, so he didn’t have to repeat it. 

“Oh, Mikasa’s with you! Oh, wait, is she alright? I can pick up something along the way, Midol? Does she want a hot drink?”

Despite knowing this kid for so long, Eren was still appalled at the way he just rolled with everything. He asked Mikasa kindly if she would like Midol or a hot drink, and she said yes, thank you, a hot drink would be nice. But they both knew it was just buying them more time.

Armin would have to know, he was sure of that. But if he witnessed it, if he /saw/ the act, it would destroy him even more. He would see people kissing, and it would mean something different. He would have a resentment toward it, and Eren was going to make sure that didn’t happen.

As soon as he hung up, Mikasa let Eren out of the door. Jean was still clearly occupied, and when he approached, he wasn’t noticed. He stood there a second, trying to come up with some cool opening, like those guys in the movies. Mikasa stood patiently a few feet behind him.

“What’s up, Jean?” Fantastic opening, Jeager. But it had a satisfying effect; Jean jumped five feet out of his skin, and turned around sharply with fear in his eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jeager?”

The boy he was kissing was now revealed to be Marco Bott, who looked absolutely mortified. Under his tan, his face was turning a deep red.

“Is something going on?” He whispered.

“Oh!” Eren exclaimed loudly. “No, nothing at all.” He was yelling now, anger arriving in waves. “Just, looks like Jean-bo here-”

“Don’t you fucking call me that.”

“Jean-bo here,” Eren was shouting, and he stepped dangerously close to Jean. “Forgot he has a boyfriend.”

Jean blanched.

“Shut your f-”

“You what?”

Marco was whispering, and he had turned the deepest red a boy could turn. He was staring at Jean, and for a moment, even Eren was confused.

“You told me you broke up with him, Jean.”

/Oh./ What a little sneak. He had not only cheated on Armin, but had tricked poor Marco into participating. Eren was ready to throw the blonde into the wall, but he held back for Marco’s sake. 

“No, Marco-”

Marco stepped away from the wall, and around Jean so that they had almost traded places. He put on a neutral face and said calmly,

“No, don’t say anything.” He turned away. “I don’t want to fall for anything else.” 

And he walked away.

Surprisingly, Jean let him leave, but maybe that was because Jean couldn’t move himself. He stood there with his arm half-way outstretched, gaping at his receding figure. Eren had to admit, if this were any other situation, he would have felt sorry for him. He looked absolutely heartbroken. 

But, this was the current situation, and he deserved it 100%.

He clasped a hand to his forehead, and without looking at Eren he said,

“I’ll tell Armin myself, please let me tell him.”

Eren almost smiled. “Good then. If it’s not done by the end of school, it’s all up to me.”

“Don’t be a dick about it, Jeager.” Jean was collecting himself now, and was beginning to get a little cocky.

“Oh, you’re telling /me/ not to be a dick? Let me remind you who was just fucking someone-”

“I’ll show you how to really fuck someone up, you piece of-”

Mikasa grabbed Eren by his bicep and began to drag him away, seeing that the reasonable Eren had taken off somewhere with Marco. She glared hard enough at Jean that he turned away in shame, and that was that.

Except Eren was not finished.

“That fucking prick, who does he think he is? ‘Don’t be a dick about it.’ Me!? Him! He did this, he fuxked it all up, he fucked everything up! I swear I’m going to knock him on his feet someday, just fucking watch me-”

“What’s got you so worked up, Eren?”

Armin was leaning against the front of the truck, a cup of coffee and a brown paper bag in his hands, along with a concerned look on his face. Eren wanted to hug him already.

Mikasa stepped in front of Eren, and said softly,

“Go talk to Jean, please. He should be shouting somewhere over there, still.”

To both of their surprise, he sighed, and said, “I knew this was coming.” Then he set the things on the truck, and walked away to Jean. Eren and Mikasa stood dumb, not knowing how to react.

He had anticipated this? He anticipated Jean cheating on him? Surely he meant something else, how could he have that kind of thing on his mind and not act on it? If it were Eren, he would have probably thrown a fist to the both of them.

But this was Armin, he reminded himself. Armin was so different. Armin wasn’t violent, or angry. Armin was patient, and reasonable. Armin was soft, and quiet, and too sweet to be in this mess… 

“Damnit!” He cursed out loud, throwing his hands to his face. Armin did not deserve this. What he would give to teach Jean a lesson he wouldn’t forget… 

Mikasa pulled out her phone, and checked something on it. She grabbed the drink, and the bag, and said, 

“We have 20 minutes, still. I’m going to go finish some homework with Annie.” She walked away, and waved. “If he’s too distraught, take him home, you hear?”

“Yeah, alright.” He waved back. Armin, skipping school? That would have to be a really drastic situation. 

Ten minutes passed, and more people started to show up. He stayed by his truck, leaning on the front while he waited for Armin. He could still see them talking, their blonde hair barely jutting out behind a few cars. Jean was doing a lot of running his hand through his hair, but Armin had mostly stayed still.

Levi was still sleeping, oddly. He didn’t have his walls up, but the thick feeling was there. Was he not going to work today, then? Maybe he needed a day off after… Well, Eren didn’t want to assume anything. He had a good idea, but if he was wrong, it would be a little awkward. He needed to hear it directly.

Wait.

This morning, he had gotten a headache from Levi, and now, he was sleeping in? He wasn’t… Was he?

Armin suddenly appeared walking toward him, and Eren was shocked at the lack of expression. He stopped in front of Eren, looking at his feet, and didn’t say a word.

“Did he... “

“He told me everything.” Armin was monotone. “Everything. All this time…”

“Armin-”

He lifted his head, but he wasn’t crying. In fact, his eyes were light, and he looked more calm than lately. 

“I did say I saw it coming, didn’t I? I’m glad that’s over. How stressful.”

“You’re not going to suddenly burst into tears in the middle of class or something, are you?”

He laughed a little, which, honestly. almost gave Eren the chills. Who laughs in this situation? 

“No, I’m not.” He sounded lighter. “He’s one in a thousand, right? I have 99.9% more to choose from. I don’t mind overlooking this one.”

And with that, Armin was over Jean. Eren was glad to notice the change in his actions throughout the day, and how positive the situation had turned out to be.

Now, he just wished Levi would talk to him. What was he doing? 

More importantly, was he okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know I broke those two up rather awkwardly but thanks to this angsty post I saw by a certain artist on tumblr I was sad that Jean wasn't with Marco and uh morale of the story cheating is really rude


End file.
